Cold hearted wench!

[Dreamdancer118]

I've had this huge crush on a guy that i work with. Hes a cook and i'm a server. Ive told just about everyone at work about it hoping it would get back to him (im a chicken when it comes to someone i really like) And i told a girl i work with (who i concider a friend and i tell her a lot of things) That i liked him and she replied "oh, he flirts with everyone" in other words, dont get too hooked up on him. im a good judge of charachter and i could tell she liked him. But i believe i got first dibbs on him because i called on it, and she didnt say a word about her liking. She broke up with her boyfriend 2 days ago and yesterday after they got out of work, they left together. I dont know what i should do, i feel like i got screwed over in this deal... What should i do... should i just let them be, becuase im really hurt and angry that she would do this!!!! i need advice thanks

[secret_agent_man]

Hi Dreamdancer118!

 

Well, before you get mad at her, you must take in to concideration that you didn't approach him first. If their relationship is still new, you may want to express your feelings, and fast! You'll always miss out if you let them slip by! Just let him know how you feel, and he can make the choice himself. If it doesn't work out, it's not really a big loss, because he may not have been into you from the start.

 

If you get put in a situation where you feel you need to take action, then take action and go for him!

 

Good luck!

S.A.M.

[crookster_man]

SAM is quite right. It's a first come first serve basis. This girl is not very loyal to you because she's not a close friend. When it comes to other people, there is no real "dibs". You have to take what you want. So I say talk to the guy and see what happens. Don't worry about getting in her way; she didn't worry about getting in your way.

 

If she was a close friend I would say Bro's before.... Or in your case chicks before.... Anyways, that's not the case so, no holds bar. Go for him while you still can.

[Dreamdancer118]

Im a chicken when it comes to meeting guys, im not a bad looking person at all, but my confidence has always been low. Im not sure why but im always afraid im going to fail. I have such a great personality and im really nice.... And to top it all off, this guy i work with isnt even that cute, ive dated guys that are so much hotter than he is, but im in that point in my life that i dont need a "trophy boyfriend" anymore, i need a man that will treat me right... Hes really nice and thoughtful. I think im going to take the chicken way and just back off and leave it be. I hate being rejected. I would probally not have a problem approaching him if i were to never see him again, but i have to work with him, and it will make me feel like a chump if he blew me off.... Thanks for the advice sam, maybe someday ill grow the balls to be confident!

[secret_agent_man]

Dream,

I understand your feelings, and only go for it if you want... but, never fear rejection!! Rejection is normal and everyone experiences it. Look around at this forum, that's what half of the posts are about!

 

Don't ever worry about being rejected, you seem to have a good view on yourself! If you love yourself, you won't be hurt by rejection. Especially as people age, the childish mockery of someone being rejected is lost altogether, because most have experienced it and don't look down on others for it.

 

Next time you see a guy you think is so caring and you think has the potential to be your prince charming, promise me you'll step up to the plate and give it a whack! If he laughs in your face, you'll at least know he wasn't that prince charming, and you won't go through life wondering "should I have just asked him?".

 

Good luck, and I'm sure with what you say, you'll find someone wonderful and be the happiest girl in the world!

 

S.A.M.

[Dreamdancer118]

Ok, so im being tugged back and forth by mysef... part of me says go for it what do you have to lose, and the other part is saying, hes just going to say no! I never really get a chance to talk with him. He works on the back line and i work in the dining area. Hes a quite kind of guy and pretty much keeps to himself. I talk to all the other guys on the line and they all flirt with me, and show me attention. Thats not what im looking for from him, but some sort of notice would be nice... In a few occasions hes flirted with me. like throwing towels or toothpicks at me, and i just look over at him and give him a cute little smile. he has to know that im interested in him by now... but im also wondering if he thinks im just a tease or a (i hate this word) s-l-u-t becuase i flirt with some of the cooks. but its just an honest flirt, most of hten have girlfriends and im not looking to hook up with any of them. Out of all the servers at are employed at Fridays. Im the only server most of the kitchen staff even likes because im friendly and always make sure when they are on the line cooking they always have something to drink. I need to know how to get his attention and show him that i have an interest in him. I never really get a chance to talk to him personally and the last thing i want to do is humiliate myself infront of the whole staff!

 

I think i might actually have some balls after all becuase your right, i need to just let him know, im 22 years old... i need to stop acting like im 15!!! 8)

[secret_agent_man]

Whether you have "balls" or not is more of a medical issue..(lol, I had to)

 

Seriously, try talking to him... tell him you want to get together after work for a drink, or just to chat... do it sort of friendly-oriented. Then, you'll have him alone to tell him how you feel. You're right, though. It is time to just go for it. You won't loose anything, you'll only gain the knowledge of whether he's truly interested or not.

 

Don't take the fact that you flirted with him for granted... he may not have noticed! You may have to open his eyes by letting him know!

 

Good luck!

S.A.M.

[pancakes]

I think you should have taken a little bit of control and approaced him on a friendly basis and asked him out, your biggest mistake was telling the wench how you feel towards this guy, if a female knows another female has the hots for the same guy that usually makes her want him more.