Being Paranoid or be worried?

[MJMJ]

I posted this in another section but maybe different people read here as well so i thought i would post it here too--especially since it deals more with trust i think...again.. lol

 

My b/f and i were at his apartment last night. (Together for a year) We were in his bedroom and his phone rang indicating a text message. It was almost 2 am. He goes to the other room to get his phone and said it was his sister. He stays there for a minute or two and i guess he called her. He comes to the bedroom by the window to get better reception to speak. His apartment does not give good reception. The girl is talking about a guy and then he said " Did you tell your mom?" If it was his sister, why would he refer to their mom as her mom. It's not his step sister or anything. I said that to him when he was done talking. He said his sis was having a guy a problem(she is older than him--i think 35 or something)Then he said text is from her and who he spoke to was her. He asked "i never did that" and obviously my answer was no. He probably knew what i was thinking when he said look who it says its from--if a person is sneaky enough, they can easily just change the name to someone else. He said call the number then. I didn't call. Does it sound weird that he said your mom when it is his mom as well or am i being too suspicious and just overanalyzing. Was he just hoping or figured i wouldnt call or should i trust it was his sister. I am tempted to copy down the number and see if it is her. Would anyone else have noticed this when he said it? I couldn't help but say something to him and now having a hard time deciding to let it go or not. The thing is--if it was another girl and she is talking about a guy problem--that means they have developed some sort of closeness and he tells me he rarely even talks to other woman. Is it weird for a girl to text a guy at 2am about a guy problem that wasn't that serious--something somewhat funny? Meaning--it maybe it was more than likely his sister? A friend of mine said if he really wanted to hide a girl under his sis's name and not have me have any idea--why on earth would he choose to call her after getting the text rather than say i will call my sis tomorrow to see whats up. That is what makes her think i am reading too much into it and it was his sis.

[nicorette]

the whole situation seems sketchy. i think if this is the only situation there theres no use in worrying. if anything else comes up you should maybe be skeptical. i do think that the "mom" thing isnt a big deal.

[MJMJ]

Sketchy why? because it was a 2 am text message? I don't see him much during the day--different schedules..and i usually stay over there about 3 nights a week..in the past year--he rarely received anything at that time. Maybe at a 11 from a friend if we were going out or something or a wrong number--which i didnt believe and he called it in front of me to prove i was wrong.

 

I'm thinking of checking his sis's number and copying it down..it sounds so wrong but i feel myself acting weird towards him unless i know for myself.

[nicorette]

i think its sketchy about him saying "your mom" and why the sister would call at 2 am. i dont think either is anything to worry about, it just seems odd, but maybe its just me and because i dont know him. if you dont think its sketchy at all or anything a little odd about it then why are you paranoid about the situation? also, if you dont think its sketchy then why did you post the thread if there is nothing at all odd about it. i dont know, doesnt make sense.

[MJMJ]

I am suspicious--thats why i posted..but its more the your mom thing that got me wondering--not really the time. I was wondering why you thought it was weird. With me--i would not care if my brother or close friends text or called me whatever time it was--if he felt like he needed to tell me something or anything.

 

I don't know if this makes a difference but she did not call him. She text messaged him with info about her date. We were up so he went to get his phone in the other room, called her and then entered the room where i was to continue speaking. He could have easily said, its my sis but i will just talk to her about this guy tomorrow if he really wanted to hide something, don't you think? I guess the only way to know is to check the number

[nicorette]

i really do think youre just being a little too worried. i hope he knows youre not doing this or else he may be freaked out if it really is his sister. you dont want to scare him off. i have been dating a guy for 2 years, and we broke up about 2 months ago. weve now been back together for a month. stress was the main reason we broke up. the reason he was so stressed out becaused i was doing what you were doing (not trusting what he said, going on his email trying to find things out even though there was nothing to find, going through his cell)

i think you shoudl leave it alone until something happens again, and then maybe act upon it. i really do think its nothing to worry about, honestly.

[MJMJ]

I appreciate you writing back so fast.

 

Basically i have been getting mixed reactions on posts..some saying--its weird he said "your mom" and thats its probably not his sis also b/c the text wasn't anything urgent--info that could have been shared the next day..others actually saying that they have used that term (your mom) with their siblings and don't see it as a big deal if he chose to call the person---unless he is really that confident in his lying and that i won't find out that he just called her anyway

[nicorette]

i can recall a time i accidentally did say the "your mom" thing with on eof my siblings. i really do think youre overanalyzing it. i think you just need to not worry, as hard as it sounds. if you are going to look into to see if it is the sister, and find out it isnt, whats going to happen? if you let him know, then hell know youve been invading his privacy, even though he lied. i dont know, sounds like a dilemma really. if i were you id be probably be just as worried as you. and if i was asking for the advice you are asking for and somoene gave me the asnwer im giving you i probably wouldnt take it because id be too paranoid. but i am thinking logically and you are thinking emotionally. i honestly do think you need to stop stressing about this. good luck

[MJMJ]

A few people have been telling me the same thing. And then others say its weird lol...I think b/c he has lied to me in a similiar type of situation i am thinking it is happening again although i would hope he isn't going to make the same mistake twice--(if you read my posts about am i being insecure, you will see--i think you even replied to it before)..Sometimes i really feel the only way for me to make sure is to check the number without him knowing and just hope her v-mail appears.