TheWriter1 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 you just don't feel loved anymore? The person says the things they used too occasionally but not as frequently, and sometimes not at all. If it is, how do you go about doing it without sounding like a complete retard... and will breaking up make the pain stop? Link to comment
chigal28 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 I don't think you necessarily have to take the drastic measure of breaking up right away....could you tell the person how you've been feeling and why, in a non-confrontational way, and see what they have to say? Link to comment
joyce1412 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 i don't think it's a great idea. you'd just be using the breakup as a way to re-negotiate anyway. why not work on it within the relationship? i think breaking up to get what you want when you desire rather minor changes is manipulative. also, your significant other will probably resent you for it. very risky. Link to comment
TheWriter1 Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 i know i will seem needy, i already am needy, its the one thing i hate most about myself...whenever i find someone i really truly like i get needy, i'd started dating people i didn't really care for because i knew i could be normal and not the needy, overly-serious, clingy boyfriend who wants affection 24/7. I know nothing will change if i tell her how i feel, she already says im paranoid, and if i am so be it...i have no idea how to get over it without talking to her. And talking to her makes me seem more paranoid. I really hate this, are there seriously no girls out there as needy and clingy as i am? If there were, god what a great relationship we'd have. Link to comment
joyce1412 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 well, considering the information you've just provided, it sounds like you need to work on yourself. whether you can do that in a relationship or you need to be without one to grow, you have to decide. and if you truly think the problems in the relationship are due to your own flaws, make sure the both of you realize that--don't blame. good luck, don't do anything too hastily! Link to comment
babypink61 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 hmmm based on what you wrote ur saying that you dun feel loved just because ur bf is not saying the nice things he used to say to you? i dun think that's a good reason to break up with him. he could still show his love for you through his actions, unless he's acting like he doesn't love you anymore. if you guys been together for a while, sometimes the stuff you used to say to each other during the honey moon stage tend to die down after a while . . . Link to comment
bobo85 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 If your significant other is not meeting your needs, you should comminicate with him first before you do something that you may regret days/weeks/months/years later. Make sure you get him to see your side of the story and also listen well for his response. If you feel like your relationship is worth saving....then comminicate. If in your eyes you see that its already over...you owe it to urself and ur SO to still communicate. Link to comment
TheWriter1 Posted June 11, 2006 Author Share Posted June 11, 2006 lol its kind of funny you guys are calling me a girl...im definitely a guy guess im too much of a girl to be a real man about this stuff huh Link to comment
bobo85 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 lol its kind of funny you guys are calling me a girl...im definitely a guy guess im too much of a girl to be a real man about this stuff huh LOL its just that most girls say that they feel unloved. Link to comment
TheWriter1 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 hahaha yep what can i say...im a huge girl when it comes to relationships, need to step up and be a man but have no idea where to start working on that Link to comment
HardShowingAffection Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Sounds like you really need to find yourself and be happy with yourself. This is a neccesity before you are able to really extend your love for anyone else. If you are not happy with yourself, you are going to project your 'poison' onto others whether you realize it or not, and that is going to push them away. You are responsible for your own happiness, and if you are relying on someone else to make you happy, you will only be disappointed. You need to know what makes you happy, and work with your partner to ensure that you are both happy. You can't rely on them for your happiness. Do yourself a favor and pick up these two books: "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Riuz "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Riuz After reading those, I think you will have a different outlook on life, and will be able to offer a whole lot more to your partner. It is a key essential step into YOU, and you will be much better off for it! Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 are there seriously no girls out there as needy and clingy as i am? If there were, god what a great relationship we'd have. Well, you say this now, but often the reality won't be as "great" as you think it is. The problems with neediness and clinginess is they don't make us feel "wanted", instead they add a load of pressure to be that person's source of happiness. It's an awfully pressing thing when not only are we responsible for our own happiness, but someone has decided we are responsible for theirs TOO. Neediness and clinginess also tend to breed mistrust, low confidence in the relationship and you fuel one another's dependencies, which ultimately is not healthy or satisfying. It sounds to me like you are very insecure, and are looking for happiness in another person, instead of striving for it from within yourself. And as long as you are doing that, you will never truly be happy in any relationship. You do deserve to feel loved and respected, but you need to look at whether or not your partner is really NOT making you feel that way, or instead maybe you are placing your own unhappiness in yourself onto them. If you are doing the latter it is time to look at whether it is fair to blame a partner, as all you are going to do is run from person to person looking for something that you can't find from them for more than a fleeting period. Link to comment
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