now what??!!

[bebecole]

so a few days ago i had a thread on how my b/f hasnt called me in two weeks b/c of our argument..

last week i found out he called one of my friends just to say hi, but she couldnt talk then and she told him she would call him another time.

ofcourse she told me he called her, because she knows of the situation where he hasnt called me in two weeks.

Last night she called him back.. she starting asking him about me and how i was.(just to see what he says)

he told her about the whole situation and our argument. he told her he wasnt gona call me back because the voicemail i left him wasnt good enough. and i should of had explained to him what was wrong over the voicemail...

is that immature????

they ended up getting into a huge fight about how stubborn he is..

should i call him to explain what happened with our fight??

should i be the bigger person and call or should i just not even bother??

please!! a little advice!

[DN]

should i call him to explain what happened with our fight??

Yes. What have you got to lose? Assuming you love him.

[coollady1957]

Having gone back once again and re-read all of your previous threads, I still think maybe you are better off moving on.

 

In your other threads you mentioned that he says that you do not talk to him or communicate enough with him about your relationship, but then when you do try to talk to him you indicated that he changes the subject because he doesn't want to talk about things. That makes no sense.

 

You also, say that he does not seem to make an effort to contact you very often in the past. Yet he calls other people , friends, etc. You called and left him a voice mail weeks ago. He still has not returned your call and has the nerve to say that your voice mail was not good enough. What does this guy want ?? !!! If he had any concern for the relationship he would have returned your call after getting the voice mail to talk things over.

 

IN your other threads you also said that he sort of wanted a break, and even though he cares for you, he " can't promise you anything" for the future. You had mentioned the thought of breaking off from him, but just did not know how to do it. It really seems to me that he is wanting out of it, but is not taking the initiative either to end it completely.

 

Aren't you two just wasting time hanging on ? If you love him and he loves you and you both want to work it out, then by all means go for it. But he is going to have to make some better effort to talk , communicate and keep in contact with you. In my opinion it just seems to me that he is getting bored with the relationship, even though he may love you, I really think he wants out.

 

You have already called him and left a voice mail, he obviously didn't answer, so its his turn to call you. I would NOT pick up the phone and call him back. The ball is in his court now. Him saying that you should have been more detailed in the voice mail is a bunch of crap in my book. Voice mail is not the place to have relationship/squabble discussions.

 

DO you honestly want to stay with this guy? Really, if you do, something is going to have to change. IF I were you I would now be at the point of giving him a few days, and if he doesn't call, then and only then would I call him and tell him that you are tired of everything and are ready to part on move on.

 

You have to just decide what you want and are willing to put up with.

[bebecole]

i understand..

last night my friend asked him if we were completely over and he said No.

were both hanging on for some reason..

i do agree that its up to him to call since ive made the effort to call him a few times.

my friend says i shouldnt call him back at all!

i dont know why im holding on and i dont know why he is either..

[Lady Bugg]

Part of me agrees with DN..and part of me agrees with Coollady.

I think IF you call him back at all, it should be just ONCE...if you actually talk to him explain whatever it is you need to explain. IF however you are unable to reach him and only get his voicemail..I would leave a message stating if he wishes to discuss the relationship he knows where to reach you, but at the same time let him know if you do NOT hear from him, you will assume it's OVER, and start moving on. In this phone call I would even give him a timeframe of calling you back..because he should not think he has the luxury of walking back into your life whenever HE feels like it.

[bebecole]

yeh exactly.. i was thinking to first to IM him online and ask him it i cud call him to talk about things and then call him..

i think thats what ima do..

b/c adventually were gona have to talk anyways.. its not like him to just Not say anything.. then again hes extremely stubborn and hes angry at me so im not sure.

ahhh!!