WHAT to DO :-(

[forestfire10]

Hi, First post so go easy on me!

 

really need some advice on this one. Been seeing my current girlfriend for 7 years. The first 5 years were great, but now for the last 2, things have just been so flat. Have tried everything to inject some excitement but nothing works. She is very career minded and brings her work home regularly doing work well into the evening. She's totaly gone off sex, and never comes out any more.

 

I am a keen runner and a few months ago a girl started work at my girlfriends office. She is also a keen runner. My girlfriend told her i also had the same interest and, so, ofr the last couple of months we have been running together twice a week.

 

So obviously to cut the story short i now have huge feelings for this girl and i think she likes me, we stop off at a bar on our way back from running and talk endlessly, only problem is my girlfriend and my running partner are now best mates.

 

So the dilema is this

 

- Do i tell the my running partner how i feel. If she doesent feel the same it would crush me

 

- Do i leave my girlfriend anyway and start all over again (Bearing in mind we bought a house together)

 

- Do i try to make it work with my girlfriend and stop all contact with my running partner (bearing in mind she looks great in her running shorts)

 

just don't know what to do

 

PLEASE HELP!!!

[AwdreeHpburn]

forestfire - welcome. I sure hope you find something you can use.

 

I would really like to suggest that you "follow your heart." Whatever that means.

 

It's so hard, isn't it?

 

Let's pretend it's an ideal world...in this case, end the relationship with your current gf as things have dead-ended. Get your own place and see how you feel. Keeping your running partner if that's possible, which it is in an ideal world.

 

After a month or two of getting over your ex and confiding your new exciting and old hurt feelings, you and your running mate will grow even closer.

 

In reality, I don't know what your future plans are with your current. I don't know if you're just finding infatuation because your bored in your current relationship. Are you certain your feelings are shared or will be?

 

Maybe you should have a talk with your current gf - not about everything quite yet, but maybe suggest a break and go stay iwith a mate or at a hotel for a weekend. Take some time away from them both to just think about stuff....

[brando]

I think this is a common thing that happens, especially under the circumstances you mentioned.

 

It is possible that you and your current girl have reached the end of the relationship. You said you two have tried for the last two years on putting some excitement back into it, and it seems to have no effect.

 

As far as your running partner, she is your gf's best friend...that might get to be a difficult situation if you should break it off with the gf, and persue the running girl....

 

As the poster before previously said, what are your long term plans with the current gf.

[forestfire10]

Thanks for reply

 

Forgot to mention my running partner got dumped by her long term bf 6 weks ago, can't work out if she's sort of on the rebound or not. Don't think so but thanks for the advice think the best idea is to be pro-active about the whole thing rather than doing nothing and drifting from day to day.

[forestfire10]

 

As the poster before previously said, what are your long term plans with the current gf.

 

At one point was sure she was the one. Wanted to marry and everthing.

 

Now to be honest - i'm bored, she seems to make no effort.

 

I know she will never dump me, i'm not being big headed i just don't think she could be bothered!

[nicorette]

DONT tell your running partner. at least until you figure things out first, that would cause a bunch of conflict, stress and heartbreak that is unnecessary, at least for the time being. if i were you, id take a few days break of everything. dont necessarily say to your gf "i want a break" but just kind of give yourself space, you need time to thoroughly think about things. you might break up wtih your gf and then regret it a month down the road. and this new girl may only be a replacement of your old gf, you may not actually like her. you might be attracted to her just because youre bored in your current relationship. id take time apart from everything if you can and think about things and just relax. dont act upon anything just yet. good luck.

[brando]

When you say finish, do you mean break up with her....???

[forestfire10]

yeah break up, not kill her and dump her in the trash

[brando]

I di dnt think u wanted to rub her out, i wasnt sure if u meant to finish out the relationship...see where it goes.

 

 

So then you know their is no easy way of doing this. I would just come out and tell her like you explained to us, but leave the running girl out of it, it is between you and your gf.

 

I wish you the best, be strong.

[forestfire10]

brando.. I've known u 10 minutes and already your a friend.

 

thanks for all your advice.

[brando]

no problem..

[JJRadical]

Your current gf sounds like a cold fish...if she can't balance a relationship with a career now it won't get easier as you get older...dump her...then let the relationship with the runner bloom...she gladly trade in a friend for a boyfriend...what the hell does keen mean anyway?

[forestfire10]

Your current gf sounds like a cold fish...if she can't balance a relationship with a career now it won't get easier as you get older...dump her...then let the relationship with the runner bloom...she gladly trade in a friend for a boyfriend...what the hell does keen mean anyway?

 

 

mmm, thinking this is good advice. So would any of you if you saw the runner in her tight shorts

[brando]

i always liked women in tight shorts....