Im finding it hard to find a girlfriend:(

[missy1]

Im finding it hard to find a girlfriend.. when I tell people I like girls,people dont think im serious! Im really feminine, im 21, im a full time model and im starting to think because I don’t look like a stereotypical lesbian then no girls will ever consider dating me as they would never know im gay.. but also Im attracted to the feminine type girls too and I cant seem to find them anywhere!! I always get hit on by men and I hate it! I just wanna scream sometimes…

 

Has anyone experienced similar things? And does anyone have any advice as to how i could

Possibly go about finding a gf…Also I don’t really like going to the gay clubs..

 

Thanks in advance

[Lubber]

Power to you.

I really feel sympathy for you

 

Im not gay but I cant imagine how difficult it must be. I mean, trying to find a person to date of the same sex. Just curious, do you know if their gay before hand before you start hitting on them, or do you just go out there and hope?

 

Anyways, I dont know if I can help you much being an outsider, but have you concidered internet dating? I think that might work out well for you. And if a gay club isnt your thing, look around for a gay bar, something low key that you can relax at.

[NKP]

you should go to gay bars and stuf and you might find a girl

[CanadianKare]

Have you thought about looking elsewhere in the gay community? What about advocacy groups? Where you live... does it have a gay neighbourhood? Go for coffee in it. Be open, maybe when you are seeking you could wear a gay pride button.

 

As for the man thing. You're pretty, try and be patient with them!

[Managor]

I agree with CanadianKare. Also, I don't think the fact that you're not 'steriotypical' in how you act, look or dress is something you need to concern yourself about, many[most? I don't know..] homosexual people aren't like that anyway, and aren't looking for someone like that either, at least to the best of my knowledge, and I've never hit on/been hit on by anyone of the same gender as me.

[Dubzuk]

i think that if u really wanna find a g/f then ur gunna have to push urself to go to gay bars, i have heard that most gay bars are just like normal bars anyway, if ur really feminine then i think thats a good place to start because then people will be more likely to think that ur gay.

[KIDD]

I have this problem too! It's like I go out & it seems like no one hardly ever is interested in me. I too don't dress & act like your stereotypical gay male either.You can try the internet! Good luck & watch out with this. There are alot of fake & dangerous people out there, so be extra cautious when talking to people on the internet.Personally I've given up with the internet since I haven't had any good experiences, but maybe you'll be lucky & you'll find your special someone. Also are there any support groups or organizations in your area? That would be a good place also to find other people like you.

[Cadence308]

I know what you are saying. I'm in a similar boat. I just don't really go around telling people I like girls. I'm private in that regard. Although, I do get asked out frequently by men. I also don't like the bar scene since it seems sort of trashy.

 

Your best bet is to get involved with the gay community in the area you live in. Sometimes there's potluck BBQs, or there has to be a gay community center where you live. Try to attend some of those get togethers and you will increase the probability of finding a gf.

 

GL!

[Deviant_Kate]

I'm going to echo a few sentiments and add a little of my own thoughts...first of all, that whole "joining in on activities with the gay community" idea isn't a bad one. At least they'll be more likely to believe you when you say you like women.

 

Personally, I've never gone to a bar looking for a relationship. Bars are, in my opinion, for facilitating one-night stands and flings and whatnot. My girlfriend and I (we're both pretty feminine) have been together for over two years, and we met at a party thrown by a mutual friend. She knew I liked girls because our mutual friend had told her, but she hadn't told anyone that she liked girls. We bumped into each other several times, and I thought she was interesting, so I got her number and we started hanging out, and within weeks, we were smitten with each other and revealing our crushes, and after 2-3 months of dating, we were head over heels in love.

 

The strongest relationships have a foundation of friendship. Maybe instead of looking for a girlfriend, you should start out by going to LGBT events and trying to make new friends.

[pianoguy]

I found my boyfriend of 6 months on the internet. I really didn't expect it, I had completely given up on the internet. But it can work sometimes, so don't give up.

 

I like Yahoo Personals alot, it's very relationship oriented, which I like.

[UT]

Finding someone can always be difficult. weather you're gay or straight doesn't really matter. it's hard. it's even harder if you don't fit the steriotype and if you do fit the steriotype many are just looking for a one time thing, nothing lasting.

 

There are gay people pretty much everywhere. With about 600 000 000 (or was that gay people alone?) link removed people around the world it's pretty obvious that there's at least a few in your area. There, surly, is at least one GLBTQ group in your area where one can spend time and talk to others. Like Fox (may I use you as an example? PM if not and I'll Edit) who goes to link removed meetings with his mother. From what I understand they are once a month and it's a great place to just be yourself and no one will assume you're straight. Groups like this exist all over the world and you don't only go there to talk but also to socialise. They arrange events and outings and more.

 

Maybe one thng to do would be not to rush when it comes to meeting someone. It will come. I suggest that you at least check these groups out and get some friends and from there, something might progress. An alternative that's faster would be going to to a gay bar.

 

Good luck

[mccarleighp]

u should try to find a top with im gay leave me alone on it lol then men would no not to go there and girls would

[Jinx]

Has anyone experienced similar things? And does anyone have any advice as to how I could possibly go about finding a gf…Also I don't really like going to the gay clubs..

 

I've been in that boat before to a degree, I once had a woman tell me I didn't look Lesbian enough. That was a real nice boost to my sexuality. Anyhow, you'll get stereotypes from both the gay and straight community I found. The woman who said I personally didn't look lesbian enough was, yes, a lesbian herself.

 

Anyhow, I love gay friendly, gay run, and/or gay district cafe's. While I don't anyone well enough by my standards to consider dating or such, I still am still gaining gay and lesbian acquaintances and developing friendships with the men and women. A good gay cafe should have a friendly welcoming environment, but it would help to know whether the clinets are primarily gay or straight. If it is gay friendly but primarily straight serving then you're just up the creek without a paddle, still.

 

Then there are the organizations for the GLBT community. If you don't have one in your area then most likely the closest metro area will have quite a few options available, I'd assume anyhow.

 

Again all on location, I've heard some good things about Pride events and people meeting people there. Now I'm absolutely clueless though about locations, times and such but it would be well worth checking out I'd think.

 

Personally at this phase in my life I've taken to trying to make friendships with other lesbians and seeing where it may take me eventually. At least knowing they are lesbians up front in the acquaintance stage leaves less room for problems later on. Much better than chasing straight and closeted women I'll say at the very least of it all.

[missy1]

Thanks so much everyone for your posts…so very much appreciated and so many good ideas.. Guess what? I meet a girl last night at a party! I'm not sure where its headed but I had a strong feeling she likes girls. And she's completely my type of girl. She told me she finds me beautiful and was flirty with me I gave her my number and she messaged me straight away…im sorta excited but I'm hoping she doesn't just want a one night stand… any suggestions as to how I ask if she's into girls in a Relationship sense? With out scaring her off Thanks again for you replies

[UT]

I'd say it's still a little early to have a sit down with her. Be with her and see if she wants more than a little fun. If she's still with you in say 1-3 weeks ask her a little about relationships and if she could consider something serious.

 

You can't really know if she only wants you for a night without just asking her unless you'd happen to get into a discission about life and relationships/ love.

[reality_writer]

you know what, I don't think you have to burst out into the gay community in search of someone....... one, that creates a whole lotta drama if you don't like the attention, and secondly, people go to bars to pick up people, doesn't matter if they're straight or gay, happens all the same.

You can't designate a place as "this is where you're gonna meet someone". That's putting pressure on yourself to make it happen.

I think you'll meet someone and feel that instant click, and .....hey, that can happen anywhere!

[xoxevanescencexox]

Im.a.lesbian.2.but.no.one.believes.me.I.tryed.tellin.my.

mom.she.freaked.out.and.I.just.told.her.i.was.liein.she.

dosnt.really.understand.me...

I...dont.know.why.I.ever.had.a.boyfriend.because.Im.kind.

of.still.new.to.this.lesbian.stuff.but.i.dumpt.my.boyfriend.

Friday.for.this.most.beautiful.girl.ever.that.I.can.never.

be.able.to.date.because.she.even.said.shes.picky.when.it.

comes.to.girls.MY.BESTFRIEND.WONT.TALK.TO.ME.

ME.ANYMORE.because.i.told.her.i.was.a.lesbian.so.i.kind.of.

know.what.your.dealin.with

[lonelybologne]

tell me about it, its hard to find girls in my area.. right now i dont even need a gf, i just need a friend.. my gf of 6 years just left me... ='(

[Deviant_Kate]

any suggestions as to how I ask if she's into girls in a Relationship sense? With out scaring her off

 

Maybe you should just start hanging out with her 2-3 times a week, see where it leads. You can at least build an awesome friendship, and maybe she'll come out and tell you that she likes girls, or that she's had same-sex relationships in the past. That's the neat thing about friends - you tell each other stuff. That's how I found out that my girlfriend was bisexual. It just came up in conversation the first time we hung out one-on-one, because she knew that I was, and I asked if she was. There wasn't any pressure because it was just a friendly dinner, and we were both able to be really open.

 

I'm really happy for you. I hope it works out!