I'm not my own person anymore.

[Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstei]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 14 months now, and ever since day one we've been glued to each other at the hips.

 

Sure, we don't mind spending a couple days apart throughout the week, but because we are each other's bestfriend we're constantly doing things together. To other people it seems like if we were to spend time apart that we'd die but neither of us mind it really. To us time apart is just used for finishing things we need to take care of (say we both have housework to do.) There are also times when other friends come into the picture. We mostly have the same friends, bu whenever something more "guyish" comes around I try to leave that time for them to go out and have fun. I've encouraged that he take a couple weekend trips with some guy friends without me, and he does the same for me.

 

Anyway.

 

I remember how fresh and exciting things seemed in the beginning. We had a lot in common already, many of the same hobbies. Eventually my time-consuming solitary hobbies (playing video games, building websites or drawing or just hanging out with my family) became little to none. We spent our time out doing things, watching movies, going wherever. It was loads of fun, and all new to me because I had just moved there the year before and didn't really know of anything aside from going to work, school and the gym. Time for us is going to become even more limited as the summer draws on, but that only means i'll spend more time with myself. I'll spend it working, but I will still be with myself.

 

Thoughts like that make me sad. I don't want to be by myself because I find myself boring. If I think i'm boring, then I must be to him too!... Or maybe i'm not to him because I go along with just about all of his plans. The point of this post is that I don't feel like i'm my own person anymore. I want my own hobbies, yet i'm not interested in anything. I'd make websites and play games but 1. i make websites as a job and 2. games i play cost money a monlty subscription every month and can't really pay for something that i have to be at home on my computer to do. (my computer is faulty anyway.. another big reason i dont do art much anymore..) I want hobbies. I want to be my own self, but I don't want to draw away from him.

 

I hope this was understandable. My thoughts are so mixed up in my head.

[Vert]

This is what affects many married couples -- the loss of identity. You really need to establish a "personal time" thing with your bf so that you both can have fun with the hobbies that you used to do. Another thing you might want to do is a couples activity that you both can enjoy together -- this will allow you to be with your bf as well as find new hobbies together that you can share.

[Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstei]

Nothing seems to interest me anymore...

[Beyondthesea]

You sound depressed, not like you 'aren't your own person.' If you were just feeling disconnected, I'm sure you could pick out some activities you enjoy.

 

Try to find things to do on your own that you used to enjoy, and try to have some 'self time' activities on a regular basis.

 

I used to be the same way, but now I've ventured out and do some things on my own instead of always just doing whatever my bf wants. Nothing wrong with that!

[renthead]

When you stumble upon something you find is interesting, try that thing out.