slider Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Hi all, I'm in the process of a breakup that has hit me like a ton of bricks. My ex g/f has told me 2 days ago that she is seeing someone else. We've parted 3 times before but this time I took too long to reach her back and she started dating and falling for someone else. I'm not taking it very well to say the least. Anyway, this last time we parted (4th time) I decided to take a break from communicating with her for a month. Basically, thinking if I should move on or not. I was scared to move on and confused at the time. Then bang. She is with someone else. This girl I must admit was very smothering during the whole relationship and I couldn't handle it. She did everything for me and loved me beyond belief. I can honestly say that I lost respect for her because of it and took it for granted that she could never leave me. However, she did at one time warn me that there were others waiting in line for her to date. I believed her, yet my arrogance led me to believe she couldn't do it. I also admit that I treated her badly at times - regretfully. After our latest breakup, she called me a week later. I pushed her away saying that I was resting and couldn't talk. The next day she called again and I didn't return her call for a month. That's when I called her and she sounded very angry with me and went on to say that she doesn't want anything to do with me and that I should move on. To tell you the truth, though, at the time of the breakup, I can't say I loved her as much as she did me, maybe not at all. However, the fact that she is with someone else now still hurts and makes me feel like I want her back. We did share a lot of good times together and she was almost the perfect girl for me. I really blew it this time. I know the right thing for me to do is to move on, and I will out of force, but I still have to see her again for her to return my key and I'm falling apart. She knows I'm very strong but I still can't picture her with someone else. It's breaking my heart. I now feel I want her back which is typical in these cases. I need advice on how to handle this situation and what to do when I do have to face her for the last time. In addition to my post I was wondering if she still could have feelings for me? I mean can someone actually be 110% in love with someone and two or three weeks later have absolutely NO feelings for me? Is she testing me? Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Well it sounds like you're are going about it the right way. Some of us, myself included, take at least a month to get where you are in the grieving process. But the fact you've separated 4 times tell me either you, or her don't know what you want. And you can't be with someone when you're not sure what you want. I'd be careful around her though, she sounds a lot like my ex in the sense that she was smothering, but loving. As it turns out she smothered me because she needed the attention to validate her existence as a special person (need a man to feel worthy of herself). Women like that usually jump from relationship to relationship because they can't stand to be alone. When you see her i suggest you just give her the key and be on your way. Knowing ex'gfs she'll probably ask you out to coffee when you meet her but i'd just decline and be on my way. Perhaps in a couple of months you'll know if you'd ever want her back again...as a friend or otherwise. That's my two cents. Bill Link to comment
slider Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 In addition to my post I was wondering if she still could have feelings for me? I mean can someone actually be 110% in love with someone and two or three weeks later have absolutely NO feelings for me? Is she testing me? Link to comment
foreverurz23 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 heart brakes are sometimes disiplin. you just have to learn from your mistakes. maybe there will be a time in the future that you will call her or she will call you and you'll be the best of friends, just take this into consideration to learn next time that you find a girl like this. dont take advantage of it becuase girls arnt dumb and we can do anything that a guy can do anyday so dont underestimate us! good luck ~foreverurz23~ Link to comment
slider Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 Why would she ask me out for coffee if she's upset at me and has someone else already????? Link to comment
Heatrae Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Hello. Boy, you men are interesting to say the least...fascinating!! AS a woman, I will tell you that if she is happy with her current beau, she will NOT suggest the two of you get together. She will be happy to move on and move past all the many breakups. But, if things aren't as great for her as you assume they are, she WILL ask to get together. I would take her up on it and see if you can start something again, slowly now realizing your mistakes in the past. Now...I pose this to you: is it really true that if a man chooses NOT to be with a certain woman although he loves her and maybe the timing is right, (i.e. he's already married) will he REALLY be that upset when he sees that she's not hanging on his every word and that she's potentially or definitely spending time with another man? PLEASE tell me what kind of an affect this REALLY has on a man. I am in quite a predicament with a married man who is in love with me...we are not seuxal now, trying to stay away and the heart keeps us near (that and we work together.) I want to be with him...I just won't be the "other" woman. THanks Link to comment
smiles314 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Hey Slider.... I sent u a MEssage.... Link to comment
smiles314 Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Slider-- Did i piss you off in anyway by what i said? I'm sorry......if i did. Link to comment
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