First Time 101

[JonathanJonathan]

Hey guys. My girl and I are both virgins and we're getting quiet close sexually so it seems that we might have sex soon. Even if we don't, I would just like to know what to look out for and what to expect.

[CarnelianButterfly]

USE CONDOMS!!!! and have her start birth control.

[Tigris]

Please be responsible and use condoms like the previous person said because we don't want to be answering another post saying do you think my gf's pregnant.

[xprincessbugx]

Agree with the other posters. Just be smart and use protection.

[Derek]

- Yeah use birth control, if you can't talk about that, if you can't go into a store to get it and use it, then you don't have the maturity to be having sex then do you? Be adult about it...

 

But I know guys, what they wanna know is how to be a good lover the first time. They wanna know about techniques, about how-to, they want knowledge so they are respected as a lover. Sure they've seen porn and sex-ed in school but they wanna know more than the mechanics.

How about some practical advice eh?

 

So here are some ideas for a young man say on his wedding night:

- Be gentle, be smooth and slow. Be considerate. Be a good listener. Be unselfish. You can be better than a 1 minute man.

- It's like dancing, lead a little, but don't go too fast or too slow, let her know what's coming however you two communicate. (verbally or not)

- how about you explore the rest of her thoroughly before you get to the end game. Massage and touch her back, stomach, neck, hips, legs, feet, HANDS (people forget about the fingers) Kissing anywhere that is tender (behind the knees, inside the arms, inside thighs, behind ears, neck,)

- How about getting her off well BEFORE you even are close to worrying about getting yourself off. That means soft fingers and oral lovin'. Let her worry about getting you off later on perhaps.

- Don't ask her before you try every little thing but yet don't surprise her either. ( hard balance to strike. ) Do ask what she likes though. She might surprise you.

- Cuddle before and after.

- The day she's had and the atmosphere around her matters. Some people say you have to make love to her heart and mind all day.

- Atmosphere, like location, smells, lights, music, food, cleanliness, try to get every detail handled.

- If things are wrong like weird smells, feeling secure (lights off?, curtains closed, parents coming home?), feeling content (no second thoughts).

You'll be a better man to take the time to fix those things instead of being selfish. (even if it takes a few days to fix)

- masturbate beforehand to take the edge off.

- if you do finish early, keep going with your lips and hands all over for 20 minutes, then go again.

- resist pumping like a porn star (even though it's hard not to), move your hips like a latin dancer instead.

- positions? don't worry about that yet.

[JonathanJonathan]

My aim is really to please her; my satisfaction comes from successfully doing that. I'll be sure to add in alot of foreplay like you suggested. It's fun anyways.

 

Don't worry about the condom deal. I extinguished my weekly allowance to buy two boxes.

 

On a more scientific(?) note, since it's her first time, doesn't that mean she needs to be "broken in" (not to label her as an object; lack of a better word)? I've heard stories of girls bleeding sometimes, guys unable to penetrate and a "cellophane seal." I have no clue what to think anymore

[just_browsing]

Not every first timer bleeds. But if you'd rather save the sheet, you could do with a dark towel underneath.

It'd be also a good idea to use lubricant for her sake.

Good to see you asking for advice prior to the actual event.

 

Good luck

[7CardStud]

My g/f didn't bleed and there wasn't much discomfort for her first time and we didn't use lube. I suggest a lot of foreplay beforehand, seems to do the job. Also for the first couple times I just pulled out with a condom on. I know this sounds weird, but I wasnt bout to make any mistakes with the condom breaking, and actually the second time i pulled out... We found out there was a hole in the condom and some sperm was coming out. So just be safe

[nottoogreen]

My aim is really to please her; my satisfaction comes from successfully doing that. I'll be sure to add in alot of foreplay like you suggested. It's fun anyways.

 

Don't worry about the condom deal. I extinguished my weekly allowance to buy two boxes.

 

On a more scientific(?) note, since it's her first time, doesn't that mean she needs to be "broken in" (not to label her as an object; lack of a better word)? I've heard stories of girls bleeding sometimes, guys unable to penetrate and a "cellophane seal." I have no clue what to think anymore

 

Too much knowledge around these days...

 

This is a very special moment for both of you. Have a look at these threads.

 

 

 

There are more here:

 

 

Whatever you do, do it slowly, gently and stop when you see she gets too uncomfortable or want's you to stop. Throughout all of this offer her words of encouragement and love.

 

Lube is _not_ required. She'll lube plenty when she relaxed and ready!

 

1) If I may suggest, for a few times, have only oral until you comfortable together. You both will be more relaxed and enjoy this special first time much more!

 

2) You should not try to penetrate her until you easily insert two fingers (as far as the hymen). Obviously, you will get her well lubricated before inserting one finger and when she is happy with that a second. Note that you should cut your nails very short.

 

3) I was only once with a virgin, following above rules, there was no problem penetrating her, she seemed not tight at all.

 

4) Put on a condom. Always look into her eyes, you can see when she hurts too much. Slowly penetrate until reaching the hymen, you will feel resistance as you slowly go on, she will start hurting, a ring will open around your tip, withdraw and wait for her to relax and try again until you break through.

 

5) Once you are inside her, stop moving and and hold her.

 

6) If she hurts a lot (in my case), withdraw and let her rest and continue later. (I continued after a few hours)

 

7) It will hurt for the first week, she'll be sore, maybe confused, be good to her.

 

May the force be with both of you and enjoy!

[JonathanJonathan]

It seems like one's first time has to be gentle. Then gentle it is! Thanks for the help everyone!