Stop loving someone..

[thursday]

Is it possible?

I can't stop loving and caring about my ex even though I feel used.

 

She told me I'm not her 'trust-person' which was like stabbing me right between my eyes AFTER all the support I have given to her EVEN AFTER the break up because of her issue that I'm not even sure about what it really is anymore.

 

I want to know what her real issue is, but she tells me to leave her alone & she doesn't want that attention. I feel like it's becoming more my problem than hers though it's not! After she told me I'm not her 'trust-person' anymore I should really not care about her anymore.

 

I want to stop feeling sorry for her. I want to hate her. I think she's being very cold and rather selfish lately. I just can't stop thinking about her. I just can't stop loving her. I can't

Someone please tell me how to give up on someone! I can't let go. I want her to be happy, this is killing me. I feel hatred and love at the same time.

 

Anyone experience with this? Exams are almost starting and I think I can't concentrate on anything anymore. I want to hate her though I don't want to

[searching1951]

It takes time, and it won't begin until you go totally NC. I think you'd be amazed at how you can step up to a task at hand and concentrate and get through it.

 

It's 2 months for me, and I am starting to feel better. They become more distant. The pain becomes confined to certain times of day (morning is always the worst). You have to physically detach. complete NC, and no "stalking" of their pictures (get rid of them and all gifts, etc.), websites, etc. etc. It's hard for me to look at my garden in which she planted so many beautiful things that are now in bloom. Maybe I was lucky because 2 weeks after the breakup in which she just put up a wall and wouldn't communicate with me, I heard she was getting married to someone else, after 4 years in which we were ultra close and talking about marriage ourselves..she is very unstable...but this is such finality. I don't want her in my life at all now, though my heart wants her back so badly. I know I wouldn't take her back.

 

I am just turning the corner on my feelings... It is so hard, but I've gotten through a lot in the past few months and I know I can go forward from here.

You can get there. The first 2-3 months are the hardest and the most important phase of detachment. You can, must and will do it.

[kickedwhereithurts]

You can get there. The first 2-3 months are the hardest and the most important phase of detachment. You can, must and will do it.

 

AMEN to that!

Thursday, you may well never get the answers your seeking, certainly not from her at this point in her life.

You want to hate her?....keep focusing on the fact that she tells you to leave her alone and doesnt want the attention,...that should help a little!

 

If shes left you high and dry searching for answers, she is simply not worth the respect or effort....I've had this done to me recently, I know how your feeling, I've been through all the same thoughts....its been a real struggle, a propper emotional rollercoaster, but it has to stop.

 

Today, I'm now finally starting to see the light, and how stupid am I feeling right now?....its good that I do though.

Positive Mental Attitude, grab it by its neck, focus on something and stick to it.

[thursday]

Thanks!

 

I feel a bit better than yesterday evening already.

 

I realise I can't be mad at her because of the fact she's just having some issues right now.

 

I also can't love her for the person she is right now, maybe she is turning into a whole different person because of these issues and maybe she will never change back to the person I loved.

 

It's only my mind freaking out because she's not the same anymore than when I was with her. I now realise I can never be happy with this new person in a relationship.

 

Though it's still a lot of grief I've got to go through & maybe one day I will see her again and can accept her as a 'friend'. I'm not getting my hopes up on that though..

 

On the other hand I can be awfully wrong and she's not changing into a different person at all.

 

I just hope she's fine, even when she's this other person, we've shared almost 2.5 years together and that's not something to ignore..

[thursday]

bleeghhhhhhhhh we goodbye for the last time & she left me with this extreme feeling of guilt, i don't want to continue living with this.. maybe she's right, maybe i'm a bad bad bad person that never gives good advice at all

 

god why, why am i not a religious person, it would be so much easier to just pray and think your sins are gone afterwards.. i feel like i killed myself by telling her she's depressed and needs to seek for help, i feel sooooooooo guilty i never felt this before, i wish i never gave her any advice, i don't know what to do with my life anymore, at least i shouldn't ever consider giving somebody advice & actually thought i was feeling good about giving advice as most people seem quite thankful, but she is like SICK thanks to me

i never thought i would hate myself that much, ffs i'm a vegetarian and now i'm eating my ex's soul WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME i really am thinking about getting into therapy arghhhh feel like such a assss I don't deserve living anymore :s

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Well sorry for you're loss. We have all been there and done this. As hard as it might be, you have to go into "NO CONTACT MODE" and that means no contact. Think of it as a cut that you want to heal, it will never heal if you keep picking at it. And thats what you're doing to her right now. I suggest that you don't take her words to heart about the trust person.

 

FORGET IT .....they were a few words that is all....yeah it hurt, you will get over it.

 

Leave her along, she told you to do that. She will either come back to you or she won't. If she does (and do not wait, get busy, stay busy) take a totally different approach because whatever you were doing surely was not working. And if she never comes back, well then she was not the one anyway. Remember 6 Billion people on the planet and half of them are the other sex, so I'm sure you have other choices. Don't make your world so small that you become obsessed over one person. Obsession leads to stalking and stalking leads to other really bad things. Get on with your life, its a really big world my friend. Jusy look at all the nice people you have already met in here. Dude you have the internet, use it.

 

Good Luck

 

Warm Regards

Kuhl

[thursday]

thanks.. i already knew that, but did you read my previous post?

 

it's not about getting back together.. i know it won't work out ever if she doesn't feel like that.. i just know we will never be together again, though never say never right?

 

i'm just feeling so guilty that i don't feel like living anymore.. i just don't seem to deserve life I know i can delete those feelings, but i really feel like i deserve to live unhappy forever because of the way i treated her.. tellingher she needs to seek help.. bleh

[thursday]

well maybe i'm wrong, maybe i do deserve to live,

feeling guilty for the rest of my life, even she wouldn't like to hear about that..

i'm going to start to feel better asap, getting something out of life even though it's all useless you can enjoy it quite alot and i do respect it.. just as i have been telling other people here, time to take my own advice for granted, right?

it's all there in my own brain, feelings are just physical.. they're chemical reactions you've created yourself by being influenced too much by external sources.. i'm not going into therapy nor am i going to feel any bad at all anymore, it's time for me to let go, destroy negative feelings and enjoy life once again as i did when i was recovering a couple of weeks ago..

 

i already feel quite relieved, i'm now going to watch some television and eat a decent meal.. i'm doing just fine

[cherishthepain]

i'm just feeling so guilty that i don't feel like living anymore.. i just don't seem to deserve life I know i can delete those feelings, but i really feel like i deserve to live unhappy forever because of the way i treated her.. tellingher she needs to seek help.. bleh

 

don't feel so guilty

first, if she doesn't love you anymore, even if you told her that, she still doesn't care like you haven't told her. If you feel guilty because you think you love her, you must always be there and support her even when she doesn't love you .... well, it doesn't matter if you keep being by her side to support her, she doesn't need it now, so tell yourself to give her a raincheck

 

second, come to think of it, I believe by telling her that, it could be one of the best closures you can get to help you move on

 

you know how sometimes we want something too much, in the passion of trying to get it, we messed it up, try again and keep messing it up to the point where we know it is hopeless and finally give up, not to think about it anymore and move on?

 

we can all try to break NC, call the ex and start crying, begging, swearing until they are sick of us and we know it is impossible to get back now, so we just give up and move on, but it's not easy because we are cool people, we don't do that and your way is much better

[thursday]

I don't really quite get your point of 'your way is much better'..

 

I still love her.. I don't think I will ever get over her even when being with someone else. I think I'll be bachelor for the rest of my life, who needs someone who constantly thinks about their ex?

 

What is love in relationships good for anyway? We should be more concerned about worldspread problems like poverty and such.. every single day thousands of kids are ffs dying by starvation!

 

I'm going to do some voluntary work this vacation.. I'm sick of this sitting right here, having self-pity because of the most disgusting thing in life called love..while there are much bigger problems.. less self-pity , more positive action!

 

Maybe I'm a bit exaggerating right now about the love thing.. NAH!

[thursday]

yay of course I was as dumb to unblock her again..

she's dating a guy 4.5 years older than she is..

i got down, begged.. again lol

 

from now on:

 

I'm really not caring * * * * anymore about all of this.. she's history & moving on.

I don't even care if there is hope for 'us' wow I really don't, this is so the best news in months.. I - Don't - Care. LOL she was definitely not worth any of my pain. but hey that's life, wow i'm really sure i don't care about all of this anymore

 

yiha!

[jchan]

Exact same thing, she's dating some dude 6-8 years older than her. It's over, any hope, any chance for the future is all gone for 'us'. I may be saying this out of bitterness, but I can say it makes it easier for me to move on and forget about this ***** and her homewrecker.

[temujin]

i dunno if u can ever stop loving someone.... the memory just fades...