To girls who don't go clubbing

[Santa]

What is a good place to meet nice girls who aren't into the whole bar/club scene?

 

((P.S. Sorry DiggityDogg))

[Dating Coach]

Just ask where you can find non-clubbing type nice girls. Telling us how you don't dig girls that have their boobs hanging out comes accross as if you are trying to show us how nice of a guy you are. Cut that out. Just say what you really want to say, which is, "What is a good place to meet nice girls who aren't into the whole bar/club scene?"

[rose2summer]

I used to be one of the girls who was hitting up the clubs and I pulled a 180 and now am the reserved conservative one. You can meet nice girls at church, at sporting events, through friends, at the library. Hope this helps.

[Beyondthesea]

You can meet nice girls through church, the library, coffee shops, book stores, restaurants, etc.

 

I highly recommend taking up a group activity that you enjoy. That is the place to meet someone nice who enjoys some of the same things you do. Compatibility beats big boobs every time

[sophie274]

Not all girls who go clubbing are trying to get laid. Not all girls who go clubbing are dumb, and plenty of them are perfectly nice and intelligent and having some fun. Smart girls wear short skirts too.

 

I do agree though, that clubbing may not be the best way to meet someone, since it's hard to have a conversation, although I have met people that way, and no, not for one-night stands.

 

More low-key bars, classes, the gym, outdoors events, sporting events, online, religious functions, mutual friends ...

[butterfly_kisses]

Try bookstores, the gym...even the grocery store. You could also take a class or volunteer somewhere. The more places you go the better chance you will have of finding potential dates.

[Mrocza]

I like to get dressed up sometimes too and go all out at a club! I dress sexy sometimes too, but just because I have a little cleavage showing doesn't mean I'll give it up to any guy that comes around.

 

Looking the part and playing the part are two very different things.

 

Why don't you try starting a conversation with a girl more conservatively dressed at a club? Or even if a friend of yours picks up a girl, ask him to tell her to bring a friend (Someoen quieter) on a double date...etc.

 

You'd be surprised at the people you'd meet in the most common of places if you were just to strike up a conversation...the grocery store, coffee shop, etc.

[jessicadon]

I first reaction was of course CHURCH! However if you haven't put your picture up on some dating sites. At least you'll know she's smart enough to use the computer. You can also tell who the nice girls are, by their pictures. If its a nice close-up of their face or something they are nice, if they are laying down on their bed with a lollipop and their shirt open, they aren't as nice. lol.

[RayF]

Just ask where you can find non-clubbing type nice girls. Telling us how you don't dig girls that have their boobs hanging out comes accross as if you are trying to show us how nice of a guy you are. Cut that out. Just say what you really want to say, which is, "What is a good place to meet nice girls who aren't into the whole bar/club scene?"

 

No need to attack the guy of being a "nice guy" man. Because he dosn't want a girl who wants to show her boobs to everyone dosn't mean he's trying to show girls what a nice guy he is.

 

I've noticed you're really worried about these sorts of things. You've spent a lot of time writing about it and preaching it. It tells me you must be speaking from experience. All the while though, I know how it is, i still have that nice-guy (to a fault) aspect to myself in a lot of ways and i'm trying to get over it . And a lot of the advice you give guys is true.

 

But to the original poster here, i don't think it fts in this situation at all.

 

I'm not gonna lie. I like boobs. I like shirt skirts, and i like looking at them when i go to a bar. Would i pick one of those girls up? Hasn't happened yet, but if the oppertunity arose, i'd probably do it. But theres no way in hell i'd date one of those girls.

 

I'm not as anti-club as i used to be. I know theres a lot of great girls who go just to dance or hang out with friends.

 

But long term girlfriend scenerios does not gel well with clubs let me tell you. Clubs are good for having a fun time, hanging out with friends, or hooking up (if thats your sort of thing).

 

To the one nice girl who's not a bar star but just hanging out with her friends, the circumstances wouldn't even be right. She could be drunk, you could be drunk. either way you're not getting a true window in to someones personality, especially for a first time encounter. Or even if she's the DD of the night, she'll see a guy trying to talk to her in a bar, even if your sober she'd expect you to be like the other 25 million guys who want to pick her up for sex.

 

Nope. The bar is the bar. plain and simple. I;'m sure there are some cases where people met at a bar and got along great and have a great relationship but those experiences are few and far between.

 

Santa i'm in the same boat though, I'm trying to get out more places to meet women that I know might be dating material myself.

[hosswhispra]

So yeah, where is the best place to find these girls?

 

Smart girls love to dance, too I know that I sure do. If you saw me in a club cutting loose, you would never think I had my doctorate, hahaha...

 

I'll echo a similar sentiment of previous posters--you can meet people in the library, coffee/book shops (Barnes and Nobles or Borders), hiking/biking clubs, scientific conferences, the debate team, joining the school newspaper, volunteering...etc..I think you got the picture.

[tylercdurden2004]

Not sure what clubbing has to do with smarts anyways. I have met a lot of great girls at clubs. Yeah of course there are dirty, bad whatever you wanna call it girls, at clubs.

 

BUT GUESS WHAT...................WAITING..........these types of girls are everywhere. Just cause a girl shows what shes got doesnt mean shes not smart or worthy or less trusting or less anything. If you think because a girl is religious, wears only long pants, has a PhD that shes a good girl, you might be setting yourself up for some serious heartbreak.

 

Think you should focus on a girls personality and how she acts whle dating a little more the how she is looking at teh night club. If clubs arent your thing then join some sort of organization that caters to YOUR interests. Yes it really is that simple.

[Santa]

Thanks for your input everyone, and sorry for generalizing and stereotyping (was just easier).

The Library seems a popular idea, but wouldn't it seem a bit weird to hit on someone, especially when Libraries are so quiet etc? Say I see a potential girl, and exchange eye contact and a smile, what would I do next instead of going over and using some cheesy line etc?

 

Also, I am part of a political movement, so hopefully when we get some events going I can meet some people that way.

I will also try and do a bit of networking with my female friends, although this might come off as being desperate.

 

Thanks.

 

P.S. Tylercdurden2004, I welcome your input, but it is a little debatable and missing the point.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Not all girls who go clubbing are trying to get laid. Not all girls who go clubbing are dumb, and plenty of them are perfectly nice and intelligent and having some fun. Smart girls wear short skirts too.

 

I do agree though, that clubbing may not be the best way to meet someone, since it's hard to have a conversation, although I have met people that way, and no, not for one-night stands.

 

More low-key bars, classes, the gym, outdoors events, sporting events, online, religious functions, mutual friends ...

 

You're right Sophie.

 

And also Original Poster, I don't mind clubs. But some of the other places you'll find me in my spare time, are on a bike/ hike trail, in a hotspring, at a bookstore, at the library, at a museum, at a golf course etc..so try to remember that people (men and women) can have many facets of their personality, and many diverse and sometimes surprising interests. (Not sure if you were directly excluding clubbing from other interests or not, but just keep that in mind)

[tylercdurden2004]

P.S. Tylercdurden2004, I welcome your input, but it is a little debatable and missing the point.

 

Wasnt completely directed at you I noticed a few people implying that girls who go to clubs arent smart etc etc.

[RayKay]

Well, I don't go out clubbing much....but I do at times...and I think I am pretty smart I don't go to pick up, but to have fun with friends.

 

Anyway, you will find great, smart girls in all kind of places. So, best way to do it is to do things that you are interested in, and then you meet some great people, and people whom also share some of your interests Just, don't be surprised if some of those smart girls you meet also tell you now and then they like to go out dancing!

 

And...there is no shame in networking at all! You never know whom might know someone you will hit it off with!

[hosswhispra]

The Library seems a popular idea, but wouldn't it seem a bit weird to hit on someone, especially when Libraries are so quiet etc?

 

No, not necessarily. It all depends on your approach. If there's a mutual spark/interest it does not matter where it happens. But I would actually feel more unique if a guy 'hit' on me in the library as opposed to a night club. I would actually like that more because he picked me. That's just me, though