should i ask?!

[canobussqween]

when u suspect sumthing that u think ur "mans" been cheating on u and u know who girl he was talking to, and u cant the answers out of him and he denys everything, would it be a bad idea to ask the girl i thought he had relations with, should i ask her what went on? or is this a really horrible idea? how can i get the answers out of him?

[Tigris]

If you ask him he's probably going to deny it anyway unless he's the type to stand up and tell the truth no matter what the outcome.

 

Does the girl know about you? If she doesn't then he could've been lying to her and said you weren't together anymore.

 

How old are the two of you and how long have you been together?

[thegirl_00]

hmm, could you possibly give more info on the story? could help us give advice.

[canobussqween]

well, i have been with him for like 2.5 and for the march that came by we decided to take a break. he left and went to go move which was an hr away. we werent going out at all, the issue that we had was that we were basically merging into one person intead of being two sperate independent pple bringing out the best out of eachother. so we knew that if we were both going out with eachother and that if he had still moved, we knew we'd have nothing to werk up to and that we would take advantage and take eachother for granted. so needed time to focus on ourselfs for a bit. he wanted to join the military and i needed to werk on what i needed to werk on. and part of the reason he was there also, was cuz he needed to focus on the military and he needed motivation.

 

so when he had left me for exactly a month, when he left me he wanted to go to this party and meet up with a couple pple and this girl. i met this girl only like once and i dont know much about her except for what she looked like. he told me he never hung out with this girl before and the first time that they did was that night he met up with her to go party. i even sent out one of my friends that went to that party to check up on him. and by the end of the night, she had told me on numerous occasions that he was being good.

 

for the time that he stayed up there, he hung out with her (the girl) on numerous occaisons. he even told me that they did. he called me everynow and again to see how i was doing and he even came down a few times to come and see me. so during the end of the month, he told me that he missed me and he asked me if we could be together again.

 

when he moved back, i would ask him if he had done ne thing with the girl and he would completely deny it, he would even smirk at my face. so thats when i started suspecting things. and the fact that she had broken up with her b.f too. when he came back, he would share and tell me on how much this girl was so stupid and that he didnt like her. but before he moved, he had told me that he wanted to hang out with a couple pple, and then i asked him why he wanted to hang out with this girl so bad and he told me he wanted to because he though she was cool. then all of a sudden when he comes back to live with me, he disses on her. what is that suppose to mean?

 

i even signed on his s/n and i pretended to act like my b.f so that i could get answers fr her. so i imed her and i tryed as hard as i could to pretend to talk like him. fr the beginning, it was doing well. but then during the middle of the convo i guess she started to figure that it wasnt stuff that he would say, or maybe she didnt want to give herself out cuz she wasnt too sure that it was him. i would imply the night of which he partied with her and say stuff like, "i had a great time with u" and stuff like that. but the answers i got back fr her was like " call me!, i miss u and i had a great time with u that night!", so then i kinda got the point that sumthing was a bit shady. what the hell was that suppose to mean? but then towards the end of the convo, she was like "ok, hi kat, tell him i said hi" .... i was like OMG! she knew it was me. so, she oviously knew that we were back together.

 

i still ask him about it and he tells me not to worry and that he has never done ne thing deciving. but the words werent enough, i deff feel it in my gut that he has possibly done sumthings that he wasnt suppose to be doing. now hes in the military and he writes me letters and calls me when he can. in those letters he tells me that he wants to propose to me and he cant wait to see me and cant wait to move so that well have a happy wondeful life together. he tells me how much he misses me and how much he kisses my pistures all the time before he goes to sleep. with the past that went on, i dont know wether to take this serious or take this as a joke.

 

i dont know if im being too painoid. i want to ask him and get the truth out of him because it is really bothing me, especailly the fact that he says that he wants to "marry" me, i dont think i would want to get "married" to him after if had done ne thing with this girl. and i cant commit to sumone where ive lost complete trust factors with. if i cant get the answers out of him, should i ask her? she knows who i am but would that make it a stickyer situatuon? how can i get the answer out of him?

[thegirl_00]

Does he still hang out with this girl? If he's still hanging out with her even though it bothers you so much then I would personally think twice about this guy. Your boyfriend is supposed to make you happy and feel good, not make you feel paranoid and making you have doubts. There's really nothing you can do to find out if they "hooked up" in the past. So I would just focus on the future and talk to him about avoiding such things that make you feel doubtful and worried.

[canobussqween]

no he doesnt hang out with the girl ne more. should i just forget about asking this girl?