should i be worried? or worried over nothing?

[tropicaliris]

Hi everyone,

 

First off am in a new relationship of about 3.5months. Was going great, we had fun together, enjoy eachothers company, affectionate etc. But lately ive been getting to that phase of feelings developing even more and fighting the whole can i trust him questions in my mind.

 

So lately he has bought a new house and is currently trying to remodel it as quickly as possible so I completely understand taht he is busy with that. For the past couple weeks (including this week) we barely got to see eachotehr maybe for about 1-2hrs a week if at all (one week we didnt get to see eachother) since he was busy with work and that project and i am currently busy with college (midterms week is hectic). So i understand and am fine with us not seeing eachother that much since we have our priorities.

 

K.. now this is what has been bothering me just starting this week. I leave him a sweet text message saying hi and hope he isnt working too hard on tuesday (to let him know i was still thinking of him, and a nice gesture). wednesday i decide to call him just to say hi and see how he was doing, he doesnt pick up so i leave a message telling him to call me when he is able to. He hasnt called me back all week. I do know that this weekend he will be heading home (out of state) for the weekend to drop off his mother (she was here helping him with the remodeling).

 

I do know he is still friends with his ex (they had a close long relationship together..), who lives in his hometown (where he is currently at by now). And yes.. i checked his myspace and apparently they are hanging out tonight when he gets in..This is where i get worried.. he hasnt contacted me all week... never returned my phone calls after i left messages...(he hasn't answered any of the phone calls i made to him, i just made 2 this week so im not going super crazy phone calling obsessed) and he's gonna be haning out with the ex tonight (which he hasnt told me about at all) ...

 

I am worried and worried that he is avoiding me or something.. should i be?

[Emotional]

I think you have a liar on your hands, we woman just shouldn't have to have a question in our head about a guy we are dating, we should be called all of the time and I don't care about his pitty excuses for not calling you, not calling you is a bad sign. Secondly, who the hell lets there boyfriend hang out with their ex!!? If I were you, id end it with him.

 

You are a smart intelligent girl who has her whole life ahead of her.

Why waste it with a guy who you know for a fact is lieing to you.

You can't trust him, can't depend on him, and he's seeing his ex girlfriend...

 

Dude, this is why I am not dating right now. And probley won't havea boyfriend in a long time from now, at least not until i have my priotities taken care of and I don't have to depend on a man to take care of me.

 

Ya know what Im saying dude? Id ditch him and start loving myself more...Like do fun things with the girls and just do everything you can to not think of this jerk.

 

As far as Im concerned your better off without him, he doesn't deserve you and oviously isn't willing to put the time and effort into yalls relationship!!

 

you certantly do have reason to worry, but why worry when he's not worrying about you?

[blender]

I would try to be patient and let go just for today, just one day, simply put this in fate's hands. You are powerless over any choices he makes, you really are.. there is not some magic phrase, or way you can "act" to make him behave a certain way.

 

However, You DO have control in how YOU choose to behave, be confident (even if you have to fake it for a day) and don't call him anymore, give him space, and know that all women will not disappear off the earth and there will always be the option of someone else, for him and for YOU...that's life. The most "attractive" thing you can be right now is understanding and confident, and let go.... this will not only take the pressure he might be feeling off of him, it will also make you feel better in the long run.

 

If he is friends with his ex, well then that's okay.. if he chooses to be with her in the long run, it has nothing to do with you... it will be fate. If he calls you in the next couple of days, try not to interrogate him or ask too many questions, simply LISTEN and let him talk, then say, "have fun, I look forward to you coming home". Then let him "live" with his own choices after that, you will have class, maturity, and confidence, what he chooses to do will eventually let you know where he stands.

 

Take the next day to list all that is "okay" with you in your relationship, and ask yourself if YOU are happy and confident with or without him... and know that a real relationship is built on understanding, trust, love, communication, respect and SELF respect, honesty and confidence in one's self... you first have to have these things for YOURSELF, before we can ever ask for someone else to be giving them to us...

 

Wait it out, let him have space, let him make the next contact with you.. just wait, you'll be glad you did, try not to jump to any judgements about what he "could" be doing, just trust him and see what he does with that "trust" all will be revealed in time... just wait it out, and respect yourself enough to not be to "needy" to try to get some "gaurentee" from him... watch his "actions" and they will let you know what he's really thinking in the long run.. then you can decide if he's thee one for YOU....

[Mavh25]

just wanted to say, i really like your posts blender so realistic and heartfelt at the same time