I am trying but this one has me worried...

[miracle29]

There is a woman at my husbands workplace that seems to me...to be everything that the posted "Jax" described. Shes pretty, smart, feminine to the extreme, respectful in public and more.

Now I have heard rumors that she gets around but still....this is what she exudes in public..so...ya know.

 

Anyhow...she went to Mexico for two weeks and during that time my husband spent a lot of time with me. He didn't cut his hair didn't care about what he wore...but the DAY she gets back, he's getting his hair cut, trimming the hairs out of his nose and putting on a very fancy work outfit. Coincidence? I don't know...or could it be that he has a thing for her because I no longer appeal to his eyes?

 

 

I have posted MANY posts about my worries about his actions and if he may be attracted to this woman...I know that i'm getting on all of your nerves with this..but this one...I don't think is just me....I don't know..

 

If anyone cares to give two cents...thanks in advanced. If you all are tired of me...i'll just let this post slide off and try to figure this out myself.

[amtjrtcet]

I understand your concern, hun. Coincidental circumstances like this always send up a red flag for me. The way I look at it is there is ALWAYS goin to be someone who's prettier, smarter, richer, better dressed......the question is do you trust your husband? I think if I were you I'd trust him until he gave me a reason not to (if they're gonna cheat-they're gonna cheat & worrying yourself to death won't change a thing), but at the same time-don't be blind. Try to find the difference between your insecurities and your gut-go with your gut.

 

Good luck hun

[miracle29]

Thank you for taking time to post.

 

I think you're right. I need to try to figure out if this is me or if this is my gut. I am so conflicted right now its hard to tell the difference. Maybe its me who thinks she's all that. And maybe he isnt even phased...or maybe he is. I don't know...man I wish I could read his mind because then I would know.....

[Cadence308]

I agree, the question is, do you trust your husband? There is always going to be someone out there that is better looking, more intelligent, etc.

 

Besides the coincidence of her being out of town and your husband not caring about his looks and then her returning and your husband becoming obsessed with his looks, are there any other coincidences between her and your husband? Does your husband talk about her constantly? Does he make an effort to be someone where she is, besides work? Does he work late? Do they flirt or have you seen them flirting? Does he call her or does she call him? I would say if these other things are going on then you definitely have a reason not to trust your husband.

[xprincessbugx]

I think you should follow your gut instinct really. Obviously you do think SOMETHING is going on or you wouldn't be so worried. I think that you should just go with your instincts on this. If your wrong then you know you can trust him.

[miracle29]

BALLYS '...Thank YOU for YOUR response as well.

 

Ok to your questions. A while ago I remember seeing her number on his cell phone quite a bit...because she supposedly had to call him for work stuff....but none of this was after the hours of 5:30pm. Other then that...she FLIRTS WITH ANY and EVERY one..so thats a hard one to call. I remember when I first saw her..my gut sank, because I came up to his office unsuspectedly and saw him and her talking all close on his like first week there. I was pissed and when I saw her walk off I walked up to her to introduce myself. Kind of like "BACK OFF HO' I'M THE WIFE". She is always trying to be nice to me...(A little to nice) I think its guilt...because its like I try to avoid her and she goes out of her way to be nice.

 

Other then that...nothing else on the list so far. I hope never.

 

Whats your take on that?

[miracle29]

Yes but I have asked him a while back if he was attracted to her. I told him that I felt that something was up between them and I wanted to know if he had sex with her while I was pregnant. He said no and that he doesnt even think about her. I didnt buy it then and I don't buy it now. '

 

But then again..i have felt strongly about other things and turns out..I WAS WRONG..so you can see my confliction.

[yeawutever]

If your husband given you no reason to distrust him nor cheated on you before, besides fixing his appearances (some men are vain, they can spend hours doing their hair, lol), then trust him. Maybe your husband cares a little too much about looking good, esp. when meeting women.

There could be lots of intelligent, cute women, and many of them will be trying to talk or even hit on your husband, but if he has values and morals, he'll think of you always. When a guy cares about you, even if he were stuck on a island full of women, he would still not be tempted to spray, only have his wife, YOU, in mind.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I am a firm believer in Human Nature.

 

Human Nature says that when you encounter an attractive member of the opposite sex on an everyday level, eg work, maybe a college class, and you get on alright, it's a matter of time before a Potential Problem develops.

 

Keep your eyes open.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Or indeed the same sex if one is at all homosexual.

[yeawutever]

I am a firm believer in Human Nature.

 

Human Nature says that when you encounter an attractive member of the opposite sex on an everyday level, eg work, maybe a college class, and you get on alright, it's a matter of time before a Potential Problem develops.

 

Keep your eyes open.

 

True, but if someone has morals, they don't act on their urges not impulses. Cheating is a decision one makes. Same as when you decide to purchase a brand new car. Both of them are choices.

[RandomAdvisor]

miracle has a new post you might want to take a look at. She's decided she wants to divorce her husband....