Rejection

[Katerina]

I have had very deep feelings for the same guy for just over 2 years, we briefly dated in 2001. But he ended it because he didn't want commitment and I wasn't ready to sleep with him so soon.

 

In that 2 years I see him every now and then and we always end up in each others arms, just to see if he can get something out of me, only to realise that he is wasting his time.

 

He knows that I really want him, and no matter what he does, I will take him back in a second. I have completely deluded myself thinking that one day he will turn around and realise what he was missing and come back to me once he is ready to commit. But that is never the case, THAT DAY NEVER COMES and I am still alone.

 

Most recently, I bumped into him at a bar and he was with his new girlfriend, right in front of me he is pashing her off to make me jealous. I felt like nothing, like I wasn't good enough and not sexy or attractive.

 

Then when I wouldn't act like I was upset, he would always look over at me with an angry look on his face, like why am I not giving him attention.

 

Why would he do that, and why would he give me those looks.

 

I feel so rejected, I can't even eat. It has been 2 years and he has moved on. He said he doesn't want commitment, but he has committed to someone else.

 

I want to meet someone new and move on with my life, but I can't even accomplish that, I feel like such a loser.

 

I am not ugly, and I am a decent girl, why wouldn't he want to commit to me, I know what type of girl he commits to.

 

I need some advice and encouragement.

[PublickStews]

"I don't want committment"

 

Translation:

 

"I don't want to commit to someone who won't even have sex with me."

 

That isn't a value judgment, by the way. Sex is part of the relationship for me, and for 99.9% of men. A guy wanting a relationship without sex is like a woman who wants a relationship with no conversation. You want him to give you what YOU want out of a relationship without allowing yourself to give HIM what HE wants in a relationship.

[Katerina]

No, that is where you are wrong, First of all we were not in a relationship to begin with, we were only in the dating stage and I said I wanted to take that part slow.

 

He was totally selfish and didn't want to wait. He wanted emotion free sex. It was too much of an effort for him. So basically, he just wanted a booty call. He is a arrogant player!

 

My god, why can't guys understand that???

 

He also said, he would hurt me because he knew I wanted a relationship from him.

 

The one thing I have noticed with guys these days, if your easy, they have a relationship with you, but if you have self respect, they don't want to know you. The Bad girls always win!

 

If he really liked me don't you think he would have waited. What is the rush anyway, I would rather wait a bit longer and make love then rush it and have just a meaningless bonk.

[bzborow1]

Katerina,

 

All the points you've made on here are correct! The only problem is you haven't accepted them as reason enough to move on from this guy. He told you, "i'm going to use you for sex", and yet you are mad when he pursue's other women who'll give that to him? He's been painfully honest with you, so you need to move on.

 

You made a quote about how guys only go after the "bad girls". That may be true, but at the same time YOU are going right after a "bad boy", so you are not really any better then the things you are saying about guys. Some guys on here would sit here and tell you that you're going after "another jerk" while refusing to see the nice guys around you.

 

That's my two cents.

 

Bill

[Katerina]

I see your point,

 

But why would he do all that in front of me, he has a girl now, so why carry on the performance to make me jealous, and why get angry when I don't look upset.

[bzborow1]

That's his problem, not yours. If he's going to be immature like that I don't know why you should even bother. He's mad, he's pouting, so what? You've told him your expectations from a romantic relationship and HE CHOSE not to accept them. Let him pout and be immature. Remember, he dug his own grave. Fortunately, it appears he still may be able to climb out.

[PublickStews]

Katerina,

 

You made a quote about how guys only go after the "bad girls". That may be true, but at the same time YOU are going right after a "bad boy", so you are not really any better then the things you are saying about guys. Some guys on here would sit here and tell you that you're going after "another jerk" while refusing to see the nice guys around you.

 

Yup! She sits her complaining about men while there is probably at least one guy that she sees on a regular basis who adores her. But she would rather go after the outlaw biker who only wants sex and see the other guy as a eunuch and just be "friends." You are probably hurting that poor guy as much as the outlaw biker is hurting you.

[Turboz]

I'm with PublikStews on this.

 

You want the "Bad Boy" and yet you complain when he hurts you. Yet how many of those "Just Friends" men have you been dissin these last few years you would probably be there for you in years to come?

 

The only thing I don't agree with PublikStews about is the 99% of men want the sex from a woman as part of the relationship.

Whilst sex may indeed be the eventual goal, some of us don't actually give it a second thought. If I see someone I like I don't instantly think "I wanna s**g her!" (Does that make me weird?).

 

You know sometimes men just like good looking women for who they are and not just for the "Sex on legs" appeal. I certainly don't look at women in that way (perhaps I should seeing as the good boy thing clearly gets me no-where). I also noticed though that a friend of mine who isn't exactly attractive can get his way with practically any woman he chooses. He simply appraches and does the playful, confident "Your mine" thing and the women just seem to be charmed straight into bed!

[Katerina]

You are right, I am attracted to the bad boy, you know the saying, OPPOSITES ATTRACT! It's funny, bad it is true, and I stull don't understand why.

 

You seem very genuine, smart and down to earth.

 

Are you single?

[Turboz]

You are right, I am attracted to the bad boy, you know the saying, OPPOSITES ATTRACT! It's funny, bad it is true, and I stull don't understand why.

 

You seem very genuine, smart and down to earth.

 

Are you single?

 

Yes - Though I'm workin on changing that sometime soon..