This is mostly directed towards the men...

[cacain119]

they normally start minor.. it's never been an issue of something like infidelity, etc, that would REALLY turn a relationship upside down, but it starts minor but ends up being a big underlying issue.

[DN]

Maybe you guys need to be more selective about what you fight about. Especially if this happens frequently. How often do you argue?

[cacain119]

not as often as you'd think... but they are just explosive... once a week.. once every 2 weeks.

[Starfall]

Mine used to walk away too. I got so tired of it. He just couldn't handle any kind of conflict. He wasn't trying to disrespect me. I told him how hurtful this was. I explained how it is important for me to get accross what I'm feeling and when he didn't know how to take it, it was easier for him to walk away... because he truly did not know what to do. He did what he saw his parents do. I told him to please, when things are heated... to just listen, and that he doesn't have to agree with me. I think he was nervous... thinking he had to. I had to convince him that it wasn't the case. Things are so much better now. He no longer does it... but we had to take baby steps. He's learned that he can listen...while I camly tell him why I'm upset... and he can say... "I'm sorry you are upset about "___", but I disagree. He's not saying "he's sorry" to you... making him feel "wrong"... but at least he's validating how you feel... which is sometimes more important than the argument itself. If he walks away... he's basically sending you the message, "You are not worth my time". That's wrong. My husband didn't realize his actions made me feel this way. Communication is everything. Good luck!

[cacain119]

grr..lol that's another issue I have problems with is that "I'm sorry you feel that way" -- I feel with him saying that, he gets to acknowledge, but not deal with the issue.

 

But i'm happy it worked out for you, I've tried that though. Letting him know it hurts me, letting him know how important it is to talk, but he doesn't do it. His dad has an angry temper, but he just explodes, my bf is much quieter and doesn't do that, but he still gets VERY angry, he just walks off. I don't want him to agree with me, there are times I know I'm wrong, but I want him to deal with the issue, not just say *you said it, now are we done* -- things just get so complicated... again, thanks for your input, you guys have been great.

[cacain119]

thanks so much, star, for your advice and understanding, it means a lot

[MacTech]

I have walked away from an argument with my wife, but only after the emotions were very high, name calling ensued and physical actions came into play, but this was on her part, not mine.

 

When she got to this point, the best thing was to tell her I will talk to her later after she has cooled down.

 

I don't know how far your arguments escalated, but if it happens ALL the time, with even small issues, then he has some phobia or psychosis and need to talk to someone about it.