Give him space???

[Diva_Lee]

Well, my boyfriend doesn't seem to want to be close to me lately . I feel like I have to beg for sex or even a kiss. I was reading this book and it said that sometimes a little space makes men want to be with their g/f and gives them time to miss her. So what I want to know is if ithis is true or not? Also, what are some things that I can do to bring us closer??

 

Just to let you know I haven't called him or seen him since Saturday night, and I want to give him some space for a few days.

 

Thanks guys

[CluelessGuy321]

Your boyfriend doesn't deserve you.

 

Go out with me instead.

 

 

 

Edit:

 

Anyways, everyone's different, but space is ALWAYS goods. Sometimes, it's better doing your own thing for a while. You know the saying: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

[babypink61]

Hmmm I'm like that sometimes too. Sometimes I just don't feel like having sex or cuddling . . . I feel like I just wanna be alone and do my own thing. Not that I'm getting tired of my bf or anything, but sometimes I just feel like I need some alone time . . .

[JynX]

I do agree that sometimes a little space is good, but I don't think you should just back away out of the blue. Talk to him. Ask him what's been going on. Tell him how you feel.

 

Communication is the glue that holds a relationship together.

[orgasmictofu]

Just ask him if he'd like more space.

 

This past weekend I asked my boyfriend if he would like to have a night or two with just his friends without me. Of course he said no way, he wants me to be around him as much as possible, but that's because he's only in town every other weekend.

 

Every person I know appreciates some alone time. But those times might not always line up and that can create problems. Best thing is just to talk about it.

[Phoenix69]

Absense Makes the heart grow fonder. I would tend to agree with this statement cause you don't really know what you've got until its not there. It worker for me and my BF, but we actually had to break up for him to realise this. Hopefully this is not the case with your situation

[cacain119]

distance makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes, makes the heart go yonder...

 

I would be careful about how spacey he's been. From personal experience, I got spacey with my boyfriend, but I had a crush and intents of seeing another guy -- I'm not proud of it, but that's true honesty for you -- I'd evaluate why he's being spacey THEN worry about giving him space.

[friscodj]

You've got to talk about it. I find a lot of times people don't talk because they are afraid of the answers they might hear, so instead they try to figure it out without talking about it. Things can get real complicated and misguided that way.

 

So talk now. This situation sounds pretty fresh. Don't let this thing fester and turn into something irrepairable. Begging in a relationship in any capacity doesn't sound healthy. Ask the hard questions and be prepared to talk about hard topics.

[Momene]

Can't really comment without knowing your ages and how long you've been together but I agree that enough space is good but too much leaves a void that can be filled by someone else.

[Diva_Lee]

oh I talk with him. we talked about it the last time we were together. but he acts very childish at times (which I dont understand) .

[eleanorrigby1]

You've got to talk about it. I find a lot of times people don't talk because they are afraid of the answers they might hear, so instead they try to figure it out without talking about it. Things can get real complicated and misguided that way.

 

.

 

WOW! yes! I have done this, still do...

 

fear

[friscodj]

oh I talk with him. we talked about it the last time we were together. but he acts very childish at times (which I dont understand) .

 

I suspect his immaturity is a detachment mechanism coming from fear of facing the situation and the issues or inability ot understand them. Things might just be getting too hard for him.

 

What you might consider is telling him you have some things to say to him. In stead of calling it a "talk", you start talking and just ask him to listen to what you have to say. Tell him you have some things you need to get off your chest because they are really bothering you. Get it all out there but avoid placing blame or attacking him. Then hopefully you will say some things to spark serious responses from him. He might not open up right away, it may take some time. Just let him sit with what you tell him. If he completely avoids communication after that, then you should seriously consider leaving this unhealthy relationship.

[Diva_Lee]

Ok....so I havent spoken to him or seen him since last saturday night. he hasnt called me either. do you think that I should call him, leave a message on his voicemail or continue with it for a few more days?? I know he can be very stubborn at times and probably thinks well i'm not gonna call her until she calls me (most likely wants to but wont). but i do want to give him some space and also take me seriously.

[xmrth]

I think it's been long enough if it's been since Saturday night that you've been in contact with him. You not calling him isn't really giving him the space he's probably wanting anyway, unless he's told you specifically it's got to do with the phone-- you're going about it all wrong, that's what I'm thinking here. You can go a day here or there, maybe two, but it's going to be almost a full week since the last contact. Are you going to do this every week or something? I don't suggest you do, but unless you planned to, this isn't doing much.

[Diva_Lee]

Wll in a sense I feel like I need some space as well. but at the same time i want to call him. its actually more to the situation though.....