my guy friend made a move on me UGH pissed off

[Luke Skywalker]

anyway just a question: it seems that all the guys are saying because he flirted with me beforehand, i should've known he is interested and shouldn't be surprised at all that he made a move. are there ever any exceptions to this rule or are guys just wired to see flirting as means to an end? cuz I'm not the kind of girl who thinks that every guy who flirts with me likes me, but some of you guys seem to be saying that that's what i should expect

 

Yes. That is what you should expect.

 

You should give this guy a refund for the money he spent on you on the date, and tell him you are just not interested in him, otherwise, he'll feel he always has one on you. (just kidding)

[beanpaper]

Some people are just natural flirts, it's true. I think we can usually tell if a guys does it to everyone or what, unless one is very inexperienced, which you don't seem to be.

 

Like in your case, if he was flirty with you even in front of other people and his friend, or to every girl around, it probably would've seemed like he was just a flirty personality. When you say he was hitting on you and flirting whenever you're alone but otherwise he just acted like a friend, I considered that pretty clear, just based on the wording. That is how I took it.

 

I've never been surprised when a guy friend turned out to like me, ever, that's why I guess I'm having trouble getting my brain around your case here.

[TiredMan]

Nice one about the refunding. But if she doesn't want this situation, she really shouldn't accept free gifts from men. But man, if I could tell you, how many females I know who go to bars to get free drinks from guys with absolutely no intention of talking to them lol.

 

I'm a bit more hostile and not a big believer in buying a woman a drink in a bar. But I have seen guys in clubs walk up offer to buy her a drink, have her take it and say thank you and leave after like a minute. I see them look so silly, and it kills me.

[candykisses]

Some people are just natural flirts, it's true. I think we can usually tell if a guys does it to everyone or what, unless one is very inexperienced, which you don't seem to be.

 

Like in your case, if he was flirty with you even in front of other people and his friend, or to every girl around, it probably would've seemed like he was just a flirty personality. When you say he was hitting on you and flirting whenever you're alone but otherwise he just acted like a friend, I considered that pretty clear, just based on the wording. That is how I took it.

 

 

Yes you're right, but there had also been signals, signals I considered to be pretty clear which came from his part, that led me to assume our friendship was strictly platonic. That's why I dismissed his flirting. Moreover, he was smooth with his flirting...so even though I haven't seen how he acts around other girls, as a girl i'd sort of had to wonder how and when he picked up such mad macking skills

 

if she doesn't want this situation, she really shouldn't accept free gifts from men. But man, if I could tell you, how many females I know who go to bars to get free drinks from guys with absolutely no intention of talking to them lol.

 

I'm a bit more hostile and not a big believer in buying a woman a drink in a bar. But I have seen guys in clubs walk up offer to buy her a drink, have her take it and say thank you and leave after like a minute. I see them look so silly, and it kills me.

 

A situation involving a guy friend is different from a situation that would be encountered in a bar thus I don't feel it is necessary to compare the two nor bring it up as it is irrelevant to my case here. The situation you described is very different from mine in the sense that in a bar there is a direct causal relationship between flirting (and buying of drinks for that matter) and a guy's intent. A guy sees a girl and he buys her a drink. The girl accepts KNOWING he didn't go to the club and buy girls drinks so he can make more friends; his intentions are rather obvious. There is not much complications there. Whereas in my situation, things are less black and white and cause and effect. especially when it involves someone whom you thought and trusted to be a friend, the line between what should or shouldn't be expected becomes further blurred as you throw in the complications and factors associated with friendship

[TiredMan]

But you yourself said I should follow you around and see. Your words were "come follow me for a day and you'll really see how my life is and why i "keep accepting free meals"...i do it because I can"

 

I must reiterate that you can do this but you kinda don't have the right to complain when situations arise. Do you give your guy friends free stuff? My guess is either that you don't or it's very rare.

[candykisses]

UPDATE

 

i talked to him.....i made it very clear that I just want to be friends and looks like he understood...i also asked him about Curtis...he said that Curtis isn't interested in me that way! he asked him many times before..he said Curtis only said he was attracted to me physically but doesn't want a relationship with me and he likes this other girl who he's been chasing for over 6 months now...so Curtis isn't interested in me ....why did he lead me on then??? if flirting means interest like some of you suggested why did he flirt all this time when his feelings were non-existent? i don't know what to expect anymore!!!!

[candykisses]

anyway just a question: it seems that all the guys are saying because he flirted with me beforehand, i should've known he is interested and shouldn't be surprised at all that he made a move. are there ever any exceptions to this rule or are guys just wired to see flirting as means to an end? cuz I'm not the kind of girl who thinks that every guy who flirts with me likes me, but some of you guys seem to be saying that that's what i should expect

 

Yes. That is what you should expect.

 

 

uhhhhhhhhhh

[TiredMan]

Well if he tries to pay from now on, will you say NO? Or will you accept it? I don't mean sometimes I mean ALL OF THE TIME.

[candykisses]

of course i will say no

 

 

i guess what goes around comes around eh

i led matt on, curtis led me on

[TiredMan]

Sometimes it works out that way. But you can't be really mad about it.

 

I know you mentioned where you are, it's very much where it's accepted that guys should buy women free stuff. Where is this? So I can move far from it lol.

[candykisses]

somewhere on the west coast lol

as for which city i'd rather keep that part private =p

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Sometimes it works out that way. But you can't be really mad about it.

 

I know you mentioned where you are, it's very much where it's accepted that guys should buy women free stuff. Where is this? So I can move far from it lol.

 

Please do Bon Voyage!

[grymoire]

UPDATE

 

i talked to him.....i made it very clear that I just want to be friends and looks like he understood...i also asked him about Curtis...he said that Curtis isn't interested in me that way! he asked him many times before..he said Curtis only said he was attracted to me physically but doesn't want a relationship with me and he likes this other girl who he's been chasing for over 6 months now...so Curtis isn't interested in me ....why did he lead me on then??? if flirting means interest like some of you suggested why did he flirt all this time when his feelings were non-existent? i don't know what to expect anymore!!!!

 

This is called Karma! You laid the bed, now lie on it!!

 

Women that lead men and think they are making fools of them will see themselves in the same situation in no time. What you give WILL come back to you. You made a fool of Matt and now Curtis has returned you that favor.

 

Does the lunch that Matt paid for taste sweet now??

[TiredMan]

Please do Bon Voyage!

 

Excuse me?