why would he tell me that?

[Caterina]

There is this guy that I am almost positive likes me. He is really adorable in a shy-guy way. What is weird though, is that he tells me about women that he finds attractive. Why would he tell me that?

 

Also, the other day he tried to ask me out, I think, but I couldn't hear him exactly b/c his voice was so low. I paused and said, "What?" and he changed the subject!

[jabele]

How old is he, if you don't mind my asking?

 

He may just be very nervous in expressing how he feels about you, so he talks about other girls...I think this is somewhat of a common phenomena. Men pretend like they're all cool and suave, but deep down, they're just as nervous and self-conscious as we are.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

that is a little strange, but i don't know, he might like you and tell you he finds other girls attractive, though it's probably not the typical way to go about things. i would think if he tells you he's interested in, or dating someone else that would be a more clear signal that he isn't interested. but that's not what he's saying, and he asked you out, so i think he must like you, he's probably just nervous.

[SouthernSon]

Well as a guy I've not done that but I've been with one woman who did that to me. When we talked on the phone she got onto little tangents about hot guys she liked, etc. If made me feel a bit jealous and such but also somewhat peeved. What do I care about some other hot guys? It got old after about the 3rd phone conversation where she did that. I moved on and didn't look back; haven't regretted it either.

 

Why is your guy doing this? It could be that he likes these hot women and feels those are the types of women he wants to be with. Somehow I don't think it's nervousness though. We've all been nervous on a date at one time or another but did that cause you to start talking about attractive members of the opposite sex? That is downright rude in my opinion.

[Sylph]

This makes perfect sense to me.

 

He likes you, that's obvious. The reason he talks about other women is because he's looking for a reaction. That's not to mean he's looking to annoy you, it's that he's trying to figure out what your feelings are about him by seeing if you're jealous. Of course the chances are you don't have actual feelings for him, you don't know him it sounds like but he's hopeful. Shy guys like to hope, he probably hopes that you hold feelings for him in the same way that he does and if he can spark these off things will suddenly be easier.

 

There's no bad intentions behind this, he probably doesn't figure that you might take serious offence to it but that's just the way it is.

 

Of course whether you want to persue any kind of relationship with him is entirely up to you, this is just my opinion of what I think is going on. I'm pretty sure I'm right.

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

Wow, I was lawyas wondering the same thing with this guy I know and like but always wondered if he liked me too why would he tell his friends other girl were hot when i was right there? That makes sense now.......... kind of, its still sort of warped, lol..

[forever_one]

well sometimes the guy might want to make you jealous so you'd want him MORE.. or something, thats how i kinda felt with my ex.. before we got together he would contstantly talk about other girls and yeah it kinda makes me sad and in the end i kind of want him more coz other girls want him.. lol ahaha. yeah weird drama i noe

[bhzmafia]

What if a girl says it to a guy? Someone I like was talking about a footy player... now its on her msn name

 

I was pretty sure she liked me too...

[Luke Skywalker]

Are you really sure he positively likes you as girlfriend material? I mean, if I said that to someone, I'd like them as a friend, not a prospective girlfriend. There would be no qualms about saying something like that to a female friend.

 

I would NEVER say something like that to a girl I'm interested in. If I'm not interested in that girl, then I would probably say something like that to let her know she doesn't have minimum 'looks' that I need.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Are you really sure he positively likes you as girlfriend material? I mean, if I said that to someone, I'd like them as a friend, not a prospective girlfriend. There would be no qualms about saying something like that to a female friend.

 

I would NEVER say something like that to a girl I'm interested in. If I'm not interested in that girl, then I would probably say something like that to let her know she doesn't have minimum 'looks' that I need.

 

Yep when you think about it, i would think if a guys is talking about other girls with his friends or something that is one thing, but if he makes a point of directly telling me something about some other girl, I might take that to mean, "Go away, you're bugging me". Right?

[fishrrshortae]

I def wouldn't want a relationship with that dude

 

Sounds like immaturity or nervousness to me, although others have pointed out that regardless of what causes it, it IS rude. I think it's rude even if he has no intention of dating you or anything... Just because, no one wants to feel like they're unattractive, and he's making you feel like that.

[Caterina]

The last responses are a tad puzzling...my brother did tell me that sometimes a guy will act interested to see if he can get you. At my work, I usually wear my glasses, which are huge bottlecaps. Thats why I was sort of surprised that he was showing interest. See, he pretty much acts like he likes me a lot, and he did say that we should go out at some point, so what you say seems to not measure up, but who knows. I honestly think it was probably the "reaction" test that was being mentioned earlier. Given the evidence, even, it seems most likely. I should never assume, however. Also, Luke, not everyone is all that smooth...

 

Side note, I've had lots of men like me for varying reasons...sometimes it was for my body sometimes it was for my mind (or what they percieved it to be)...never really who I am, I don't think.

 

Your opinions add an interesting element to the story...normally the suggestion of a lack of interest would bring in the challange factor and make me more interested...but I just don't have that in me. If he isn't interested, thats okay. I went through a very painful, self-actualizing break up about two months ago and I doubt I still have recovered fully. I've had an overall sense of dissatisfaction with my life...and that isn't exactly the right time to invite someone in.