Does he even like me?!?! (Guys especially need advice from you!)

[capricorn85]

Hey everyone! Well this saturday I met a guy that has all of the qualities I am looking for in a man. We briefly introduced ourselves to each other and clearly there was some attraction. Later that night I sent him a message asking him if he was going to a party tonight and he wrote me back saying that he ended up coming after me and some of my friends left. I also heard he was a little bummed that I wasn't there. Anyway we exchanged numbers via internet and planned on going out sunday. He said that he would rather just rent a movie and we talk and at first I agreed. Then I thought that maybe I wouldnt be comfortable so I told him I'd rather go to the movies and I tried to explain to him why I wouldn't want to rent a movie. I don't know if he really understood my logic. He calls me and tells me he is ready and ofcourse I wasn't ready, so he tells me to call him when I am. He calls me about 30 minutes later and tells me he is on his way to the hospital because one of his friends got jumped and asked me what my schedule looked like this week. So I told him well school is done so I am pretty much free. However, he hasn't called me since Sunday. Monday someone told me that he is interested in me. I was thinking of sending him a message asking how his friend is doing, but Idk what to do. I was going to wait until he called, but again Idk. Please help! I think this guy could be it!

[Bethany]

Message him back and tell him that things have changed, somethings has come up and your going to be really busy after all. Say you hope that his mate is ok and maybe catch him later. In fact, *I* personally wouldn't even reply to his next call or message, I'd be FAR too busy to be sitting at home waiting for his call.

 

Remember this.....He said he was coming after you and was bummed because he couldn't catch you. Don't EVER be free and sitting at home waiting for his call, you have just made yourself no challenge and he may never get back to you.

 

Be someone he chases and wants to catch, be a challenge.

[SxcLady]

I agree...

 

Play hard to get!

Or he will try to play games. If he does contact you and you answer the phone and end up talking to him or something first thing to say ... "hi, hows your friend doing?" And if he asks what your doing on (eg) friday, say something like "im busy then ... how about saturday?".

 

GoodLuck

Love SL.

[capricorn85]

I understand what you are both saying, but would that push him away?

[SxcLady]

ok if your thinking it will do that, then atleast wait for him to contact you!

[SchismOfTheHeart]

As the first male to post a reply, I would like to say that I personally abhor the playing hard to get thing that some girls do. This wreaks havoc with some guys that are already shy and even ones that aren't. We go home and think about all the little things that happened over the day, and when a girl plays hard to get, it makes it seem that she is not interested at all. Then we begin to doubt ourselves, "what did I do wrong?" Which then leads into slightly worse state of shyness. I know I don't speak for all guys, but I know a lot of them that feel the same way I do.

 

I think, because he is clearly interested in you, that you should go ahead and message him and ask him how his friend is, show him you are interested in him as well. Sometimes a guy just needs to be jump started.

[capricorn85]

Schismoftheheart,

 

Thank you, I just sent him a message asking about his friend. Hopefully, he responds, if he doesn't I guess it is his loss. Now if he does call should I say I am busy?

[aggierocker]

Don't play hard to get....that's like playing games. Ironic.

[capricorn85]

well i saw him tonight actually we were at the same place, i didnt even see him at first. He got up came over and said hi to me, i said hi back. Then we danced to one song, at the end of the night he asked me what im doing tomm and i said around what time he told me a time and i gave him a LATER time. Him and his friend took me phone and as i left he goes 'maybe i'll call u tomm' jokingly and i said 'well u dont have too' jokingly. So basically i didnt put myself out there too much...we'll see if he calls.

[capricorn85]

UPDATE****

 

Okay so I called him today to tell him that I won't be available until 9:30 and then he told me that he has a meeting with his org, but will call me as soon as he gets out. He gave me an estimated time of when the meeting might be out but its an hour after the time and i still have no call from him. I am kind of upset because I feel like he is playing a game. He acts interested in me, people even think he is, but I don't get it. The first time he said his friend was jumped and now tonight its a meeting with his org. I know he isn't obligated to even call, but common decency you know? What should I do??? Why is he doing this?

[angeleyes3]

Hey sweetie! I know that my advice may sound old fashioned and totally not practical. I want you to know that I have been there. I used to get so frustrated when a guy that I totally liked acted wishy washy. It sounds like this guy is acting similar to the ones I have dated. It still gets frustrating when you really like someone and you think they are "the one" and they don't even give you the decency to call you back or the decency to return your phonecall when they say they will. It's also not fair that you have to be so frustrated about it and it seems like he isn't even worried about it as much as you are. You seem like such a passionate lady. So, remember, you deserve someone who is equally passionate about a relationship with you. The one problem that I see is that he said that he was going to call you at X time. I understand that things come up. However, all I have to ask is where does he live? (totally rhetorical question) . . . I am assuming he lives in a developed country with phones on every corner. I have been in stores where I left my cell phone at home and I really needed to call someone back and strangers have actually let me use their phone for a quick second. It sounds to me that although he may be interrested in you, it sounds like you are more into him. Remember, everyone goes into relationships for different reasons, However, everyone goes in to a relationship because it is something that feels great and makes you happy. If you are already slightly upset and thinking about the relationship at all and you guys are not even technically dating, then you should ask yourself does he deserve to be in this with me? The world is going to be filled with guys who are shy and who can't step up to the plate. Don't you think that if God has designed you as a person who is open about your feelings He has also designed a guy who can be just as great as you are? What you should do is to sit down and write about when and who has contacted who. If it is you doing it more, then I would totally revaluate that. Also, I would suggest too that maybe you and him should be friends first. That may be hard to do now since you like him. If you can, you will get to know each other on an amazing level and have a great relationship. But, once again that is up to you to decide. In anycase, I guess the bottom line is that you shouldn't play games, the waiting game stinks but since you have done most of the work, I would wait, lastly, if he isn't calling and doing what you want him to do or what you think is right for him to do, then he isn't the one for you. I would also suggest for you to read the book, He's just not that into you. It's a great book and it's worth reading. Also, you are precious and priceless in God's eyes and in your friends eyes, so don't settle for second even in a friendship. How doyou select friends? Do you select people who you do most of the calling with? If you do not, then why would you do it for someone you would want to date. (Remember, if a guy wants something bad enough he will do whatever he can to get it.) I bet you have some great friends. I would adivce you to hang out with them this weekend just to get your mind off of him.Also, remember, if this guy doesn't work out, consider it a blessing because he didn't deserve you. You only deserve the very best!!!

[SxcLady]

Dont wait around for him ... You need to show him that your not gonna cause he will expect it next time.

 

See if he calls you by morning ... I dont know where you live so i dont know if you will get this in time... But please dont wait around!!!

 

GoodLuck,

 

Love SL.