having trouble

[somedude19]

Hey guys.

I'm 16 and I've been dating this girl for 6 months. We haven't had sex yet but of course we've fooled around a bit. We have been going strong but lately she said she doesn't feel the same and wants to give us some time still but is considering breaking up. We talked a little and she says that I've been too over-obsessed and shes afraid that if we break up she won't be able to get back into her group of friends ect.. Also while she has been faithful for the majority there is one of her "guy" friends that a few weeks into our relationship she "danced" with at a party I wasnt at, and now she's been texting him a bit more often like one time she did that instead of calling me. I love her very much (you may laugh cause we're young but its true) but we've talked about marriage (she brought it up) and thinking about it after we graduate and both liked the idea, but now she feels I'm putting too much pressure on her (not on purpose) and I don't want to lose her. Maybe the fact that I have always had pretty long hair, but I just got a pretty crappy hair cut (last time my mom cuts it) and I think thats why she might not be as attracted because she liked my longer hair alot better.

 

Sorry for the novel but I'm really worried and need some advice,

Thanks

[littlemiss26]

I don't think it has anything to do with your hair.

Have you thought that maybe she feels that things are moving to fast for her? You are both still young to be thinking long term commitment. I don't doupt your love for her.

Have you tried asking her how she feels and what she want's out of the relationship?

Tell her how you feel and where you would like to see your relationship going. Communication and honesty is a must in any relationship.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well if she loses feelings over you over a haircut, she really isn't worth the hassle.

 

But assuming thats NOT the case, I think it sounds like she's just realising that she doesnt want a serious monogamous relationship right now, that she likes you, but also wants to see more of the world and maybe other people..thats human and normal for someone of 16, its just unfortunate as I get the impression you are much more into her than she is into you.

 

Give her the space she needs and if things are still a little difficult, maybe suggest a break, but I wouldn't "wait" for her, if you get me.

[Sylph]

Well if she loses feelings over you over a haircut, she really isn't worth the hassle.

Agreed.

 

If it comes to it I really wouldn't beat yourself up too much if she does decide to break up. As it's already been said it does sound you care more about her than she does about you, if that's the case the last thing you should do is blaim yourself.

[somedude19]

I trust her and really doubt its the haircut (even though we both hate it) but I'm afraid cause we talked about it yesterday and said we were gonna try to see if we could be more care free and spend more time with our friends, not do the same old stuff ect.. everythings going good, shes gone for a day at a funeral and today she tells me that she doesnt feel the same anymore.

 

I dont know

[mysteryman]

Well, perhaps loosen up a little. And its not unusual for people to date for 6 months and not have sex either. It just varies from couple to couple. And dont get to distraught if things dont work out. Im sure you'll find another. And be careful believing rumors. Their the root of a lot of evil

[Momene]

I think you need the balance to see your friends separately as well as together. It is easy to get over-intense, done it myself.

 

The other advice could be true that she doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship and, if this is the case, you'll have to let her go. It'll be too much of a rollercoaster for you otherwise.