graduation is approaching...i don't know what to do

[Polypeptide]

hi...

 

graduation is in june...I'm a college senior. My bf is getting his masters.

We are both graduating this june.

 

But the problem is...he's from San Jose. I'm from LA.

 

We have been together for 9 months. Relationship has been rocky lately because he's busy with projects. Almost to a point where we would break up. But communication has improved. We are still putting effort into the relationship.

 

But the uncertainty of the future...I just dunno what to do...

 

-still sticking together hoping for the best...what if we'll break up anyways..then i'm just wasting my time...

 

-break up...it's kinda bad either...just dump him because he'll be too far away...

 

We happen to have a lot of friends who have LDR. I don't know if that'll make him believe in LDR. One of my friends were from hong kong. He met his gf in HK. They were together for 2 weeks and then he flew back to study.He visited her twice a year. They have been together for 2 yrs.

Another guy has been LDR with his gf for 3 yrs.

 

the heartache I have...thinking about 1.5 months...that's all we have left...

my heart is so painful I just wanna end the relationship right now to free myself...

 

and I don't know how to talk to him calmly to talk about possible outcomes and solutions...

[kadvati79]

If you end it simply because you don't want to do long distance I think theres a good possibility you will end up regretting it. But thats only if the relationship was otherwise good. Really good relationships are hard to find remember.

 

What you need to do is have an action plan for a LDR that eventually see's you both getting together. If you don't the uncertainty can drive you mad. I was in a LDR for two years but made a special effort to see him as often as I could. The travel did really wear me down tho.

 

In the end follow your heart, and talk about it with him. If you think you will find it too emotionally draining be sure that a breakup will be what you really want and not jumping out of the frypan and into the fire.

 

When people say "there is plenty more fish in the sea" its only a half-truth. Most of those fish turn out to be rotten. Make an honest assessment of the relationship and its potential. If neither of you are prepared to make a committment to a future that may see you having to make comprimises in order to be together, then the relationship probably isn't strong enough to last.

 

Most important is to TALK about this with him HONESTLY and FRANKLY. Reinforce how you feel to help ease the awkwardness.

 

Hope that helps.

[Goodfun88]

Instead of looking at the situation in fear you should look at it with hope. Now you are both out of school you are free to move around and work where ever you want. You could possibly move closer to him, or he could move closer to you, or you could both go somewhere new. The thing about LDRs that makes them hard is that sometime times you feel you may never be together, but both of you graduating gives you the chance to be together if one of you moves. If you don't get together soon after your graduations, I don't know how much longer you'll last cause you seem very unhappy with the LDR situation. Good luck!

[Shesa]

I think it really depends on if he wants to marry you. If he wants to marry you, he will make it work. I am in a LDR and I don't like LDRs. I am doing it because I have a perfect relationship (no issues) except for the fact that I hate LDR. I do it because I see him every weekend and have an amazing time, I can trust him, and I'd consider marrying him. Both people have to be on-board for it to work and really want the relationship. It could be a good test to see if your relationship is just one of convienance. And trust me, it's better to find out now at 9 months--- then 2 years later. Hope you find happiness.