Would not normally interfer but feel I really should

[Jonboy582]

Basically I have grown some strong concerns about one of my friends and herboyfriend lately. To sum it up he is scum she is most deffinately not and deserves alot more. Now this is the story condensed;-

 

1. They ben going out about 4 weeks

2. He has cheated on her already and she took him back

3. He continues to play her and send texts to anouther girl saying he loves her (well they stopped now for reasons you will find out).

4. After she forgave him he would go off and say he got to go out, but would really be off with this other girl.

5. He has now gone to jail for 2 years for attempted armed robbery

6. He spoken to her asking her to wait for him (very selfish)

7. He has asked her to marry him by TEXT MESSAGE and LETTER (how romantic) this guy really has no idea about life.

 

And it enfuriates me that he should get such a nice girl, when he is complete scum.

 

She herself said she is only with him as she thinks she can't do better, although she would be better off with no one. This is just because she lacks self confidence, due to beinghurt previousely in relationships.

 

She said she clicks with him but she needs to get as far away from this dude a quick as she can but she also says well I feel sorry for his mum as she findinghim in prison hard. Not meaning to be harsh but its not her concern they only been going out a maximum of 4 weeks its not as though she got strong family ties allof a sudden. So really her caring attitude is getting her drawn in.

 

Just thought I would right this any comments of any form are appretiated.

 

Jon

[CarnelianButterfly]

Maybe him going to prison is a good thing. It will give her space and she can find a great guy to treat her so well she'll forget what's his face.

[Dating Coach]

You can't change her mind for her. However, you can start introducing her to new guys...

[bobo85]

it sounds like your friend is afraid of being alone. Let her know that she deserves someone who will treat her right and love her for who she is.

[Jonboy582]

I can do my bets to introduce her to guys but problem is we are now separated by like 60 miles so seeing each other is a problem and so would the guys I know.

 

And I know I cant change her mind but grrr this guy has treated her bad and will continueto and she will just take it and throw away 2 years of her teen life for this guy, your meantto be out enjoying yourself not waiting for some scum bagto get out of prison.

 

it sounds like your friend is afraid of being alone. Let her know that she deserves someone who will treat her right and love her for who she is.

I have done, and im her only place of support right now, familly all getting anoyed at her and can see he is bad news, but are handleing it wrong, they are basically punishing her for waiting for him which they should not do. Im not questioning their parenting skills but it could be handled better.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

you could wear yourself out trying to get her to see the light about this guy. i have a friend too, who has chosen to involve herself with a LOSER, and to be honest i gave up trying to let her see it. (so did everyone else). i finally just said to her, "well you already know how i feel about it". and when she complains about him, i just say, "if you continue to stay with him then you are choosing to be treated this way. it's your own choice, not his".

 

you can't force people to dump someone. you just can't. you can just try to be their friend, while hopefully not investing too much more then your return.

[tylercdurden2004]

you could wear yourself out trying to get her to see the light about this guy. i have a friend too, who has chosen to involve herself with a LOSER, and to be honest i gave up trying to let her see it. (so did everyone else). i finally just said to her, "well you already know how i feel about it". and when she complains about him, i just say, "if you continue to stay with him then you are choosing to be treated this way. it's your own choice, not his".

 

you can't force people to dump someone. you just can't. you can just try to be their friend, while hopefully not investing too much more then your return.

In da same boat. Not much you can do but redirect when they complain and be there for them when they fall.

[Jonboy582]

Yes its a hard situation, I havemade sure she understands all the facts, he cheated on her twice he will most likely do it again, and he is not a good person and all that. Gues thats all I can do, and be there to pick up thepieces when itall ends in tears.