can't stand it sometimes..

[radiotone]

me and my girlfriend broke up after 3 years a few weeks ago. we've been in a long distance relationship ever since. she lives 4 hours away. we met online and all of that stuff. i've spent weeks and weekends up there and we always had fun. except i started to get bothered by some things. i felt that i just really couldn't handle a long distance relationship anymore because it just seriously tears me apart that i can't spend time with her all the time. now it really hit me because we're going to school and i've been in need of money and jobs and all of that. also, we never really had a good physical relationship. she'd be bothered by me wanting to passionately kiss her deeply and just let things heat up but also not have sex until marriage. i was okay with that but the whole relatonship wasn't fulfilling me physically or sexually. it was frustrating me. we talked about it, about everything. but it just seemed like i wasn't happy enough. before i actually broke up with her, we talked about our problems and what we need to fix. but for some reason i just wasn't confident anymore. and it wasn't fair and wouldn't be fair for me to stay with her. she's a really good and nice person who deserves someone who would give their 50% into the long distance relationship.

 

she didn't take it very well and she told me she didn't want to be just friends. and thats the part that really bothered and practically killed me. i love talking to her and i just want to stay in touch because we've known each other for so long. ever since then, i've been having nightmares and having bouts of depression thinking about her and how the last time i talked to her was going to be the last time ever.

 

and today i became really depressed about her. so, i did something really dumb and called her. just to talk to her. and we talked about how she wants me to decide entirely on whether or not i was going to be with her. and how she doesn't want to jump back into it.. and now i feel really stupid doing that because i'm afraid to call her back and i don't want that to be the last thing we ever said to each other. honestly, i think i'm the one that's taking it the worst. and i'm the one that broke up with her. i'm not having thoughts about getting back together with her, but i really really feel so upset knowing she doesn't want to be just friends..

 

do people feel like this whenever they break up with someone they were really close to?

 

thank you.

[itsallgrand]

Of course. You're hurting even though you initiated the break-up bc you've cared about her a whole lot. Things just weren't working.

 

She doesn't want to be friends bc she's hurting too. It's haaaard to talk to someone who has dumped you. Haaaard.

It doesn't mean she doesn't care. She is probably missing you like crazy, wishing she could spend time with you, but she is doing what she needs to in order to protect her own heart.

 

You need to give her the space she needs. And it will be good for you too.

 

Breakups are painful under all circumstances. You're so normal.

[rajabah]

People have a tendency to say things in anger they don't really mean. It could be her anger just talking, saying she doesn't want to be friends. If you truly don't want to be with her, just keep your ground. I think the best thing for you both right now is no contact until the wounds heal.

 

I'm sure after she's healed and the pain is gone, she'll be willing to be friends with you once again.

 

do people feel like this whenever they break up with someone they were really close to?

 

My ex-gf of 3 years cheated on me, and even though I hate her for it, I'm pretty sad that I'll never talk to her ever again.

[Lita43]

You know that sometime's you have such a deep feeling for someone that it almost overwhelm's you, but it sounds like this relationship won't work out. I don't remember your age if you posted it, but it doesn't matter, since fate has dealt you the hand of "NO!"

If you were "truly In Love", there would be nothing to keep you from the girl!!!!

This is a fated seperation, so I think that you should get on with your life and vocation in school, till the right one come's along some day, so don't rush it!!!! (Pain is also a learning tool!!!) Think and think deeply!!!!

Nobody needs complications in life and especially "NOT IN SCHOOL!!!!"

Date casually, but keep up with your studies, cuz it's the whole reason for being in college and know everyone needs love. Try to find it elsewhere (behave and be safe!) and focus on your studies for now, as it will come at the right time.

Talk to your parents, friends or a relative or anyone that can give you possitive feedback!!!!

Don't be depressed, as you have to dig down deep and find the real you!!! If she doesn't even want to be your friend, then I guess you have to look deep into who you are as a person. If you're good with it, then it's her problem! If not, you have the power to change what it is that you don't like about yourself and it's as simple as that! Maybe not the work part! Good Luck!!!!

 

Lita~