So I've been giving this online dating a go w/ success

[aggierocker]

But what about these girls that seem to be complete nymphomaniacs? They even have almost naked pics of themselves on myspace which is AWESOME! Do I focus and get more to the point of wanting to screw or do I do just the opposite?

 

That is by saying stuff like "so what other fun stuff do you do other than girls and guys (or just say sex, it really depends)?

[Momene]

Suggest meeting and see what they say.

[aggierocker]

Yeah I plan to do that with the third email. But should I mention sex at all?

[Momene]

Don't mention sex at all. If you're looking for a quick fling then MAYBE that's what SOMW of the girls are looking for but most girls prefer to get to know you as a person if you're looking for something longer term (which it seems you are).

 

Talking about sex tells them you're only after one thing.

[aggierocker]

What do you think of the line I threw out? Is that ok? I still haven't gotten a reply from her. I'm just experimenting here.

[PocoDiablo]

If you talk about sex, they will probably shun you. The goal of online dating is to meet in person as quickly as possible. The longer you take, the less likely you're going to meet them. Keep emails short, light, flirty, and arrogant AND funny. You have to act like a dominant guy who knows what he wants, but not a jerk.

 

Emails should be 4-6 lines to start with, then quickly get down to 1-2 lines after that. If you don't have a phone number within 10 emails, you need to refine your skills.

 

If you act desperate and like you just want sex, you will get none.

[PocoDiablo]

Oh yeah, that line was passive, weak, had no "game." If you're just looking to get laid you're not going to get much advice here as most folks here focus on quality long term stuff. You should Google up some dating advice sites. Google "PUA" and you'll be on the right track.

[aggierocker]

Ok, I've been sending 1st emails consisting of 2 lines. So far I sent out a 2nd email asking to meet for coffee. And another girl, I sent that line about sex because I couldn't think of anything else to say because all she focused on on her profile was sex and doing bi stuff.

 

I read that dating stuff about c/f. I don't know if I'm hitting on that or not.

 

like for this blonde who was looking to date only blondes, I sent her this

 

"blondes are sooo overrated. alaskan huskies are the way to go."

[PocoDiablo]

Cute. I'll tell you, sex-only dating is usually when you need to up the ante. Challenge them to something. Asking a woman out who wants sex by suggesting a coffee date does not compute. If anything, you need to follow these steps:

 

1. Make contact

2. Ask for a phone number

3. Call her after 3-4 days and make small talk, flirt, joke, give her a hard time, act like YOU are the prize

4. Ask her out

 

You may want to study the Mystery Method stuff as well. It's $35 I think, but should help you understand the courting process better.

 

C/F is a definate tool for these types of situations. However, it will hinder your overall growth as a person because it does not adequately address maintaining the relationship, so when you meet the perfect woman you'll end up losing her.

[aggierocker]

There needs to be a private school for this. Like martial arts but martial wooing or pimp school. I'm still learning.

[PocoDiablo]

There are resources out there. David DeAngelo has some tips, and there is a guy named Grant Adams that has a whole system for meeting women online. His site is link removed. It's a cheesy site but I've heard him lecture before and he's amazing. He's very upbeat, funny, and a real charming guy. He really goes over the details on how guys blow it writing ads, so you may want to try and research him by googling his name or site name or something.

[aggierocker]

I don't understand this one. One girl sent me back this reply after I asked her out for coffee on the second email.

 

She says she doesnt mind coffee, BUT shes busy with finals and work. she doesnt know she could.

 

GOD i wish girls would give straight answers. I need help deciphering this please. I'm confused, do I ask for number now, or throw back a c/f reply?

[PocoDiablo]

You understand that it's an EXCUSE and she has low interest level. Excuses mean "I'm nicely letting you down." If she thought you were Mr. Wonderful, she would have said she has finals and work but is going to call in sick to spend time with you.

 

You're not building enough interest. You're being boring. She's gotten 22,000 other emails just like that. You need to step it up and be MORE funny, MORE confident, MORE cool, MORE charming.

 

You also need to understand actions speak louder than words. She won't show up? Lack of action = lack of interest.

 

You can (1) delete it and stop wasting time on her or (2) blow through it like I would. Without seeing exactly what she said (hint, hint, post it) I'd suggest something like "Hey, that has to be the worst excuse I've ever heard. You *really* should try harder. Do most guys fall for that line? Seriously, coffee, Starbucks, Wednesday. And that excuse was SO bad you have to buy ME a coffee now."

 

I'd put $5 on her taking you up on it.

 

In my opinion, excuses are tests for you to pass or fail. You pass if you ignore them (except real emergencies) and fail if you take them point blank.

[aggierocker]

Man thats a good one. How can I come up with stuff like that?

[Momene]

Agree! Many girls do get lots of invitations and you have to convince them that YOU are worth meeting. What is different or interesting about you? It may not attract/interest her but if you like (say) playing tennis, she might do too and challenge you to a game. Even if there's no sexual chemistry, it gives her a reason for wanting to meet you.

[PocoDiablo]

Man thats a good one. How can I come up with stuff like that?

Treat her like she's your bratty little sister who you don't let get away with anything. Give her a hard time, make her WORK for it.

 

So many folks just use "canned" lines over and over, and are never challenged. Make people think by just ... going for it. You KNOW it's an excuse, so tell her! So long as you are polite, calm, mature about it and can deliver it in a way that is a little funny ... you're golden.

[aggierocker]

lol I told her what you said and she sounded pissed. Like she was stressed out, but said she could do coffee next week. I'm not really understanding her intentions at all.

[Iceman26]

Aggie, for the type of advice you are looking for you should listen to the Shock Jock Tom Leykis.

[aggierocker]

Treat her like she's your bratty little sister who you don't let get away with anything. Give her a hard time, make her WORK for it.

 

So many folks just use "canned" lines over and over, and are never challenged. Make people think by just ... going for it. You KNOW it's an excuse, so tell her! So long as you are polite, calm, mature about it and can deliver it in a way that is a little funny ... you're golden.

 

You just told me to treat her like my sister....insta friendzoned?

[Momene]

lol I told her what you said and she sounded pissed. Like she was stressed out, but said she could do coffee next week. I'm not really understanding her intentions at all.

 

If she can do coffee next week, well at least she's agreed to meet you.

 

Good luck.

[PocoDiablo]

You just told me to treat her like my sister....insta friendzoned?

No, like your BRATTY sister. Don't let her get away with anything! Poke fun at her! She wants a cookie? Why should you give it to her? What do you get out of it? If she wants it, she has to mow the lawn for you next time.

 

Give AND take.

 

Don't be a pushover - you wouldn't let your bratty sister get away with murder, would you? No, you'd give her a hard time but in a way that is not mean, not rude, not cruel. Just harder than getting something for nothing.

[Luke Skywalker]

There are resources out there. David DeAngelo has some tips, and there is a guy named Grant Adams that has a whole system for meeting women online. His site is link removed. It's a cheesy site but I've heard him lecture before and he's amazing. He's very upbeat, funny, and a real charming guy. He really goes over the details on how guys blow it writing ads, so you may want to try and research him by googling his name or site name or something.

 

Has anyone else tried link removed with Grant Adams and is it worth it?