How do you express affection in non-sexual ways?

[tayandie412]

I've recently started seeing someone, and I need some advice.

 

He is a man I've known for a couple of years as an aquaintance, but just started to get to know in the past 6 months, and started seeing each other about a month ago. We have had a physical relationship, but very early into this we talked about really wanting to get to know each other, and sometimes the physical relationship can make things go faster than they should. So, for the most part we have a great and caring friendship, and we spend time talking and doing things we mutally enjoy.

 

He has been married 'several' times, and is really wanting to get to know someone before the relationship escalates. I admire him for this, because he is sending me a signal that I am worth getting to know.

 

My problem is that I am having a hard time expressing my affection for him in nonsexual ways. From the time I was young, I learned to express my feelings by sleeping with my boyfriends or my husband when I was married. I really like this man, and I don't want to mess things up with him by pushing. How do I break this chain and begin to show my affection for him outside of the bedroom?

 

I feel this is such a strange question to come from a 38 year old woman - but I know I need to get beyond this or I will continue to have bad relationships.

 

BTW - when we had sex it was GREAT. No problems there. Also, he tells me everyday I am the sweetest girl he's ever met. Could it be that I've actually met a man who might care about me in more than just a sexual way???

 

Any insights out there?

 

Thanks.

[cookies]

Yes its possible to meet a gentleman that wants to get to know u outside of the bedroom. It speaks highly about his character, regardless of how many times hes gotten married. Marriage is 4 life, and if hes committed himself to women b4, in hopes that he found the right one..it didnt work out...now he has a better understanding of taking it slower, and knowing you better.

 

Some good ways to express urself to him outside of the bedroom is to show him the tender side of how you would take care of ur man. Small things really can make his heart grow fonder of u as well. Preparing hot, delicious meal 4 him, giving him backrubs without him having to ask 4 one...when he says his shoulder hurts, listening to how his day went, with understanding and not trying to offer suggestions always if he has a problem...he just may want to be heard., ...asking his opinion on things that are important in ur life...shows that you are concerned with his perspective and honour his point of view as well. compliment him with sincerity when he does or say something that makes u smile or you find charming...

 

Theres many ways u can show ur love, by just taking good care of ur man,...when he is sick, just be tender and tend to his needs..thats just so sweet 4 me to see a woman do 4 her man..and vice versa...but most importantly, when ur lyin in bed at nite...the glare in ur eyes by the way u look at him will say i love you to him in a beautiful unspoken way...

 

good luck in ur relationship..i love to see ppl in love...

 

cookies

[mkgirl]

wow it is nice to hear there are good guys out there still! well i think it is really sweet. and i agree there are several other ways to show your affection. you can show them just by complimenting him, playing with his hair. being just yourself, you are affectionate all the time and you probably do not even realize it. you must do kind things already if he says you are the sweetest girl he knows. so i am sure you are already doing a great job. just be tender and care for him. any act of kindness is a sign of affection. so just smile, use your kind eyes and be yourself. i am definite you are already showing him your affectionate side!!