Should i feel bad?

[Ploppy]

Okay, here's the deal. I met this girl and i think i'm falling for her. We get on great and everytime i find out new things about her it makes me even more attracted to her becasue it's things i'm into as well.

 

Now, when we're together with other people i flirt with her, but in the type of "jokingly" way so it shows that i might be interested in her but it saves me loads of embarrassment if she's not interested. She always flirts back in the same way / acts like she's interested in me. However, i've discovered that she has a BF, and the topic did come up becasue one of her friends mentioned him (saying something like: "How comes you don't spend much time together?"). She replied with something like "I'm still deciding who i like more", now i don't know if she was talking about me and her BF, or her BF and some other guy becasue i haven't really known her for very long, but i have a big feeling she did mean me.

 

Now if she did mean me, and she is interested in me, and everything i think is true from the reactions i've got from her i can't help but feel really bad for the other guy. I mean, the exact same thing happened to me only a month ago. My 2 and half year GF dumped me becasue she had feelings for someone else and i was neglecting her (which i've learnt from) and it turned me into a complete wreck for quite awhile. Infact if i didn't meet this girl i'd still probaly be heart broken over my ex, but after meeting her it seems to be helping me get over my ex alot easier becasue she's proof there's someone just as good / probaly better out there for me (like i said, i don't know a whole lot about her, but everything i've seen so far i really like of her).

 

I just don't know what to do. I mean, i really like this girl, i'm starting to think about her alot. But if i followed my emotions and tried to find out how she really did feel about me, and if she feels the way i think and dumps her BF for me, then i'd be responsible for inflicting the most pain i've ever experianced on someone else and i can't help but feel bad about it.

 

I mean i don't know what their relationship is like at the moment. It might be an awful relationship that they both might want to get out of, but it might not be.

[Luke Skywalker]

The solution is simple. It's time to get serious and forget about the flirting part. Ask her out one time. Go on an official date.

[AwdreeHpburn]

ploppy - great name by the way - I think it's wonderful that you are concerned for her bf. Makes you sound like a very caring person.

 

But what SHE does or does not do in her relationship is neither your responsibility or fault. Especially when you didn't even know she had a bf.

 

I see that you have two choices here.

 

Make it clear you're not ok being "the other guy" by backing off

 

Or ask her out on an official date and have thee talk.

 

And there's my two cents. Take it for what its worth.