Mixed Signals

[Taurusgirl]

Hi everyone....this is my first post. I would have thought that at my age I'd be able to read signals from men, but I think the problem is he is sending mixed signals. We met at work about 6 months ago(he just started then) and at first I did not pay any attention to him for 2 very good reasons: 1) I was engaged and 2) he is 11 years younger than me. Well, he started flirting with me, mostly via email...inviting me out for lunch, being complimentary, etc. Then he would always try to say something, anything, everytime he passed my desk("did I ever tell you this was my favourite song" in reference to a song playing on the radio). Well, I finally noticed all the attention he was paying to me and I also noticed how incredibly handsome, smart, independent, witty, sweet, sensitive and romantic he is! I had been planning to end my engagement for some time and his attention was just the push I needed to end a very unsatisfying relationship. Anyway, he and I continue to flirt and have become good friends at work but here's the problem, he is completely hung up on a girl that he describes as "perfect" and his "best friend". He has told her he has deep feelings for her and even though they have never dated(she has always had a boyfriend during their friendship, though not the same boyfriend) he believes that they are "meant to be" and they will eventually end up together. I think he's great and we really do have a lot in common and there is definitely chemistry there, but I am not sure if we continue on our journey that I want to get involved with someone who thinks that his "perfect" match is someone who strings him along and says in response to his confession of feelings for her, "you never know what can happen in the future". I guess my question is this: should I pursue this relationship because he is the most refreshing and intriguing person I have met in a long time, even though it may lead to heart break? Some additional information for any astrology buffs out there, I am, as you can tell by my name a Taurus and he is a Scorpio......

[bobo85]

If you are having doubts about marriage you should definetley be honest with your fiance and tell him everything. But if you feel like this guy can seriously be "the one" then you owe it to yourself to and to your fiance to be honest about everything. It isn't right for you to pursue the co-worker while stringing along your fiance around while he's giving 100% of his heart to him while your only giving less than 30% of your heart to him.

[Taurusgirl]

Thanks Bobo, but maybe I wasn't clear. My x-fiance and I have split. It was a decision that was made easier by my feelings for my co-worker, but I had been thinking about ending the relationship for the last 2 years. I would never pursue any relationship while still in another. I have not told him that I have feelings for someone else as it would only hurt him and serve no purpose. I'm more concerned about whether I should pursue this new relationship given his feelings towards his "best friend". He says he has accepted the fact that she is with someone else and that he is happy for her, but I think he still thinks that sometime in the future she will decide that she feels the same way about him that he feels for her and they will finally be together.

[Bethany]

No you shouldn't. You should start looking for men who are emotionally available. If he comes around to the fact that you're not there for him anymore, maybe one day he will wake up and he will realise that YOU are his loss, but until that day.. move on.

[itsallgrand]

I wouldn't. Continue your life as though he is unavailable: because he is.

 

Who knows how things turn out in the end. The thing is, you don't want to waste yourself pining over someone who may never be a go.

[Taurusgirl]

Thanks Bethany...I think you are right. However, the problem with him is he loves the chase. I think the more I ignore him, the more he will chase me. We are going out after work one night this week for dinner, as friends, not a date(i'll be buying my own dinner!).....any advice?