for all you newbies on this sight please read.

[sukerbut]

the biggest mistake i ever made was to not implement no contact right away. i begged i pleaded at first..theni wrote her a kick asss e-mail and she wanted to be my friend..tried that for a while..did not work..went out with ehr crew one night without her..got drunk talked sh@@@ about her ... of course it went back to her...please i have learned my lesson the hard way...i have not had soemone break up with me in a long long time..i handled it all wrong..i did well at first but then i put the full court press on and pushed her to the other side of this earth (not that it matters) so if you just broke up..please no contact...no haanging out with her/his friends ..biggest mistake i ever made..i hope you dont follow my footsteps..i know you are going to say my situation is different..ITS NOT!!! you are only going to make yourself look smaller and more pathetick..also do me a favor go to the getting back together forum and see how long all those suicces stories last..week maybe a month..its the truth..i know ti sucks but its the only way to do it..if something is meant to be it will be..not now .. not in the near future...so stop hurting yourselves now..i have been stuck in this night mare for 6+ months...what an idiot!! MOM THE MEATLOAF!!! HAHAAAA

[bobo85]

I found this site the day after my breakup with my ex-gf. I went 8 days of NC, but then we had to return our stuff. So i broke NC but after that...i'm have now been going through 24 days of NC. I never did anything stupid like talk crap about her or anything like that. I did talk about the relationship with my family and friends...and they have been so supportive.

 

Remember: When a breakup occurs, do not take it out on the ex. Sometimes two people aren't just right for each other and you have to accept it. Its nothing personal..even though it feels like it is.

[deejay74]

i agree with sukerbut. no matter how hard it is, maintaining NC is the absolutely best policy. you all can use me for an example too.

 

i don't have the links copied but if you go back and read my posts, one is from february with a title like "i'm the biggest idiot" and the other time i broke NC, i posted with a title "i never learn and i ruined everything". it should be clear examples on why you shouldn't break NC.

 

it really sucks to regret my decisions to break NC and there's nothing i can do to change the past. please remember this! and DO NOT let your emotions take control of your actions, this is the worst thing you can do. i've done it and i made bad choices.

 

i'm am almost positive that i could have at least had a friendship with my ex, but because of my stupid actions in breaking NC, and acting with emotions, i've probably pushed my ex to the point of no return and i have no idea anymore what my ex thinks of me (some of you on here may say it doesn't matter but i know there are many of you who are still concerned about how their ex thinks of them, like me).

 

good luck to everyone who's just been dumped. let me tell you, unless you are incredibly strong emotionally, or just have a lot of experience dealing with this type of stuff, you're in for an emotional ride!

[sukerbut]

it is when they played you 3 times bobbo...

[bobo85]

it is when they played you 3 times bobbo...

 

^agreed^ if its more than once.

[sukerbut]

after she reassures you that this time was for real .. becasue i did doubt her for almost 6 months..once i gave in and thought we were in the same page she started palying her old trricks again..random male friends calling, not showing respect, avoiding your phone calls but picking up restricted numbers, making stories up about you..i can keep goign and thats after i treated her liek a princess..just venting ..thaks for that haha....and still i chased after her...all i am saying is that if its broken dont try to super glue it..your only going to get your fingers all messed up...leave it broken...personally when i get into an accident with my car and its never the same and i long for a new one..same should go with realtionships

[CamGuy]

It is important to note, NC is not about getting your EX BACK. It is about allowing yourself to HEAL. Too many people come on this forum, thinking there is a magical way to win your ex back. THERE ISNT. And you cant go on with your life thinking up of ways to get your ex back. There in lies the problem. We claim we are going to better ourselves, and learn from our mistakes, but what we are really doing is just trying to better ourselves for OUR EX, not for us. We have a hidden agenda of trying to get back the love we lost from the person who ended it.

 

Doesnt work that way. You just have to move on, and improve yourself as a person, FOR YOU, and for YOU ALONE. Do what you feel is comfortable. If NC makes you comfortable do it. If you cant be friends with someone you are inlove with, then dont be friends. If you can, koodos for you.

 

I moved on finally. I havent spoken to my ex for months now. And I am bettering myself for me. I got a great job offer in San Fran, 1800 miles away from my ex. And I am taking it, and moving on with my life.

[sukerbut]

congrats my friend..and thats my point exactly...whatever your intentions are ..hope or no hope..no contact is the way to go. you need to disappear for your own personal sanity and emotional safety...i have done alot of soul searching and even though i do believe the break up was pretty much on her..i did fix certain negative attributes that i possesed and def. helped end the relationship faster. hope , no hope it does not matter..no contact all the way..for you..its so damm hard..even now i was like dam i wish i could talk to her and make things better, but guess what..it aint happening..suck it up, go for a walk and take a deep breath and keep on going. major withdrawal brohter..major.

[coooolsome]

NC is also about making sure you dont do the things that usually push your Ex away. I did it and realize now that had I just implemented NC or was strong enough to control myself, then we would be back together.

 

But since I was stupid, I pushed her away and now she has someone new.

[sukerbut]

its for the best bud..again everything happens for areason...i am a firm believer in that and it definatly helps me get through the day..everything happens for a reason...dont know what that reason is yet, but just stay true to yourself be a good citizen, respect your fellow man and you will be happy. hurt like this drives you and makes you stronger...man the pain..but you work through it...you have to .. face it..accept it. learn form it and finally try to move on...cant live in your own personal nightmare everyday..as hard as it is..i am dating a girl now...dont really have feelings for her, but she is good to me, treats me nice and slowly i will get through this.(again we are dating before all the enotalone mongers jump on my back and say i am leading her on lol)..i am not going to lie, every time i think i am healed , somehoew some way i find myself gettign into contact with the ex..even though i know there is nothing there...masicst should be my new screen name. i wish i handled things differntly as well..thats why i decided to post this..for alll the new heartbreaks going insane right now with pain..ok got to go now...the day is over and i am going to go ppppppppppARTY!