what if he points out other guys to you?

[Caterina]

There is this guy at my work. So, when I had a boyfriend it seemed as though he really liked me. It was pretty obvious that he did. But, I had a boyfriend so I didn't really take notice of him as anything other then an acquaintance. Well, about two months have passed since I broke up with my bf and I feel as though I am healed from it. So, I have started to take notice of the guy. Well, the guy still seems to enjoy my company, but he said two things that make me curious as to whether or not he still does like me or what it meant that his behaviour was something different then as compared to now. For instance, he asked this guy-friend if people were trying to set him up at work b/c people were trying him up with people at his work. He then said, "I don't think its a good idea to date people at your work." Not only that but he pointed out this one guy and said, "He is going to ask you to dinner..." playing around...b/c the guy was married. ANd he also pointed out another guy at my apt. complex and said, "There is a hottie for you, Caterina." So what do you think? I wasn't interested before, but incidentally now that he is seemingly less interested in me romantically (altho seems to enjoy conversation with me), I find myself more interested in him.

[Scotcha]

My take is that he is letting you know what kind of relationship he is interested in. Friendship.

[TheLegend]

"I don't think its a good idea to date people at your work." -(IMO) Can have 2 explanations, 1) He doesn't like you in that way and giving you a hint. 2) He's shy and trying to act like he's not interested.. Is he a shy person?

[kellbell]

Never never never mix business with pleasure.

 

You may be interested in him now because he is no longer showing interest. That push/pull game. But as I mentioned before, never date someone you work with. There are so many other guys out whom will want to be with YOU and not push you towards other men.

[Caterina]

First, he's only temporarily working there. Second, yes, he's extremely shy...is that a factor to consider? He told me before that it took him forever to work up the nerve to ask out this one girl he liked...I am leaning towards something to do with that, but I could be wrong. The best part is not knowing, in a way. But that doesn't stop me from being speculative. I mean, you could be right, but the context is difficult to...he is shy and he also seemed to really really like me in the beggining. My brother told me that sometimes guys act like they like you to see if they can get you...

 

Also, more context: he wasn't really pushing me towards other men...the guy he mentioned before was obviously unavailable b/c two seconds earlier he was talking about his wife.

 

However, it doesn't really matter...he's a good friend to me...I don't think that it would work for a few reasons, but its still fun speculating.

 

I personally think he likes me but he's backing off b/c he thinks I am a flirt...the other guy and I have been good friends and he might have thought we were interested in each other.

 

You're also right about push/pull. When he acts like he likes me too much..it sort of turns me off.

[TheLegend]

yes, that's a big factor to consider. So I think that means he might be afraid of commitment as well. Because he shows affection to you when he knows you're not available, and backs off when you are available. Becareful not to scare him off by being pushy

[kellbell]

"he's only temporarily working there...."

 

I cannot give the best advice if I do not have all the details. Then I would wait until he transfers. Then suggest getting some coffee. Something very low-key and casusal. Good luck.

[Caterina]

Lol, true. Sorry about that. I don't know if I'll ask him out...I don't know if I really like him, or if its...as you said, push/pull. We'll see.

[kellbell]

"I don't know if I'll ask him out...I don't know if I really like him, or if its...as you said, push/pull. We'll see."

 

Then I would definitely wait until he transfers and see how you feel about him not being around anymore. You can be just enjoying the flirting and just having him around. Take care and good luck.

[keefy1972]

First off I have to agree, from experience, and say don't get involved in a relationship with a guy from work. Now on to your ?'s. I have actually pulled this tactic myself and I would say he IS interested in you. Being that he is shy, he is pointing out other guys to you as a way to gauge what you're "into". This way he knows if it's safe to make a move.

 

The whole, "I'd never date someone I work with" bit is a way to set up how flattered you'll be when he does make his move. Seeing as how he'd "never". Catch my drift?

[Caterina]

That makes sense...plus, he's given me some nice compliments before.