advice please?

[soully]

Would like to post the question...can he be over me when he is acting like this?

My bf dumped me out of the blue a month ago, soon after he went on holiday with a few of his friends and will be back in a week. He broke up with me and would not talk to me for a long time afterwards. consisting of turning off his fone and cancelling my calls etc. Few days afterwards he did pick up and we spoke on friend terms.. and it was ok- just general chat really. He then got all weird again and whenever i called tried to shun me and wud make the conversation as quick as possible (i'm talking like 3 mins!). before this i also asked him once he got back from his holiday if he would come to my house and talk things over or at least say a last goodbye- but he said he didn't want to and wasn't going to. We have been together for 4 years and our relationship was not a bad relationship at all.

 

Recently i have been doing the old NC and have done for about a week, but as it was easter i gave him quick call to say happy easter and once again the convo was only around 3 mins long! He has blocked me on yahoo messenger and does not want to speak to me at all. How can he be over me after this long and treats me the way he does? surely when you are completely over someone speaking to them doesn't matter as you have no feelings for them? I no he may want to be over me but is he really over me? can you be so quickly after 4 years? I thought he would be sorry he was hurting me, even if he doesn want me as a gf, and be nice about the break up but he is just being a * * * *. Is it worth me waiting until he gets home? Is he over me?

[annie24]

welcome to eNotalone

 

honestly - he sounds like a jerk. No, you shouldn't wait until he gets home. He's made it perfectly clear he is not interested in talking to you. For whatever reason. I don't know. He won't give you the closure you need, so you have to give it to yourself.

 

I don't know why he is acting this way after 4 years together. he sounds very very angry. at what, I don't know.

 

Keep up NC. Move on, assume he has moved on himself.

 

good luck

[Bethany]

I agree with Annie.

 

He could have been thinking about breaking up for a long time before the actual act and it is highly unlikely he will ever come back to you from what you have wrote.

He doesn't want to come over and drag up the past, he has made a decision and he is sticking to it. He may be happy that it's over and no amount of emails, or phone calls will bring him back.

 

Keep away from him and use NC to heal, not as a tool to win him back. It's time to accept what has happened and move on.

[amtjrtcet]

He's a jerk!! I know how you're feeling. You're probably asking yourself what you did wrong. And weren't you at least worth the break up? It's unbelieveable how someone can just shut you out, just like that. He's not going to give you the closure that you need. You're not going to get the apology that is due to you. He's not concerned with your feelings.

But don't blame yourself. Honestly, its not you, its HIM.

 

NO CONTACT. Don't call him or email him, don't ask his friends about him. Stay away from anywhere he might be. At least until the pain subsides. And it will. It will take some time. But try to keep in mind, no matter how great it may have once been, if he can just toss you aside and shut you out of his life just like that, he's not good enough for you. You deserve better, and there's better out there.

 

Be strong and hold you head up, it will get easier.

[Boricua7]

Just being the devil's advocate here:

 

Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe, just maybe, he is trying to do NC too? This is what it sounds like to me. No, he is not being very nice but what would anyone here be doing if they wanted to go NC and their ex wouldn't respect that and wouldn't allow them to keep up with it? Probably the same thing.

 

It sounds like he is doing NC for the same reason everyone else here does it. He knows he needs to move on. I think you should respect that and have enough respect for yourself to not allow him to hurt you anymore.