It's killing me

[HoldMeTightly]

My mom is tearing apart my world. I fell in love with my good guy friend's girlfriend six months ago. (the "guy friend" and I are no longer friends) For the past three months, his ex girlfriend and I have been dating. My mother does not approve of my sexual orientation, thereforeeee I have been sneaking out of the house to see her, visiting her for ten minutes at a time sometimes after work, or right after school. Just recently my mom has "found out" that we're dating (though she already knew, she didn't want to admit it aloud) and now she's doing everything in her power to pull us apart. I have a one hour phone time limit for a day, I am not allowed to see her, the phone is disconnected after ten pm so that I can't call her. I can no longer text message her. I am not allowed to have aol instant messenger (though I sneak on at night sometimes).

I just want to hold her in my arms. We both suffer from severe depression and we're both dealing with some other issues as well, we are there for each other through all of that. But right now, I can't be there for her. I'm so worried about her. (but that's beside the point)

Nothing in the world scares me more than losing her. It may sound ridiculous since I'm only seventeen, but I love her, and she means more to me than anything in the world.

I'm trying to compose a letter to my mother right now, and I need some help. I just don't know how to tell her to get her to understand that eventually she's going to have to accept that her daughter is a lesbian, or she will no longer have a daughter in her life. If anyone could think of some things to say to her in a very, appropriate and professional manner then that help would be so greatly appreciated… you don't even know.

 

 

 

Oh yes. Happy early Easter to anyone who celebrates that holiday. Happy late Passover to anyone who's Jewish (it was Wednesday, right?) and Happy anything and everything to anyone else that celebrates something I missed!!!

[HoldMeTightly]

oh... and i didn't mention... i'm pretty much permanently grounded... just so that i can't see her (this means my car, keys, and lisense are gone too...)

[jon 13]

i am very sry to hear that

[princess81]

People are ussually afraid of what they dont understand. Your mom may or may never accept your sexuall orientation that is her decision and hopefully she will make the right one, since your mom is not supportive of you in this area maybe you should try finding support in other possitive people try to deal with things for now you only have a year till you are an adult and then you get to decide whats best for you as far as the letter honesty stay true to your self but respectfull to your mom at the same time wright it from the heart and hope for the best. I wish you luck and hang in there.

[fishrrshortae]

Are you in high school ? Planning on going to college? I would just say, try to leave asap. You will be much happier in the end being allowed to live your own life without such idiotic restraints (as if taking away your car will straighten you out?)

[blender]

you will be okay and you will get through this, perhaps for today just know that this is "too much" for your Mom to handle, instead of trying to get her to "understand you" try to "understand her" and that will help "ease" your anxiety. As far as your new girlfriend goes, if she is going through some depression it is best that she and you learn to "help yourselves" first before you can truly help each other. This is a tough time, the age you are, and it's even more difficult because for today you are "different" than what your mother might had expected...but that is ONLY for today, it will pass, in time, being understood by another usually starts with YOU understanding why it is so hard for them.... Your Mom is just feeling like she is losing "control" over you and that is a very REAL fear for her... it must scare her that you will have to overcome prejudices, and judgements from others..and even from her... just breath and know that you won't be seventeen forever and you will get and grow through all of this, start by "letting go" a bit, and know that "true love" is not an "emergency" and that if it's "real" and "meant to be" it will be there waiting for you... be at peace with who you are, and be in accpetance of yourself and try to be in acceptance of what your mother is "feeling", her anger, and control is all coming from her love for you and from her OWN FEARS.. that is all... she simple wants what she "thinks" is best for you...and that is a "loving" thing for her to feel, even if it's NOT exactly what YOU think is right... you are young and so is your girlfriend, and you will both get through this tough time... you really, really, will and you both will be "better" because you have the courage to graceful and understanding of "others" difficult time to understand who you are... it will take time, but it will happen, your mom will not "lose" you, she will come around, but it might not be on your "terms" or on your "time" but it will happen in "fate's" time, "god's time" and all will be okay... breath, relax and try to be graceful, even when it hurts so much... your Mom loves you and sometimes they only love the us the way they know how... do not blame her, she's just scared for you...that's all... and she will "grow" to understand you, but first try to "understand" her.. and perhaps you can even say to her one time:

 

"Mom, I know this must be so hard for you, because it's hard for me too, I'm sorry if my life is different than what you wanted for me, I hope we can be "okay" with all this someday, because you're my mom and I want us to be close".

 

She will be 'astounded" at your maturity and gracefulness, maybe not "right away" but once your words sink in, and your "actions" show that you DO respect how difficult this is for her..well then she might not feel the "need" to "control" you so much.... just try it, because whenever we sincerely try to look at things from someone else's eyes, well then, they start to actually "see" things more clearly too....

 

with respect, hope and all good things for your future, Blender

[HoldMeTightly]

ill be trying to leave very soon. im a junior in high school right now. i dont know when ill be able to go to college (it depends on my ACT score) because my grades have sucked all through high school because of my depression, being hospitalized... a school change... and dealing with my parents. (the emotional, physical, and mental abuse)

anyway. thank you for your help. i don't know when i can write that letter or when ill be able to give it to her. but she's disconnecting my phone line at home including my internet so that i can no longer stay in contact with my girlfriend.

they may be selling my car but i don't know that yet.

this is all so insane.

blah.

[Daddy Bear]

you are gonna be so and so appreciative of your freedom when you get out of your parental bondage for good. it may seem like an eternity away to you now but that day will be here before you know it. ride it out, girl.