Pursuing a guy for sex

[Imperceptible]

I went out on a date with a guy who's popular with the ladies but he doesn't sleep around. Everyone loves his personality and he's a stud. I'm not sure I want to pursue a relationship with him. I just want him for sex. I feel so bad and dirty for thinking about using someone. My friends think I want a relationship with him. I talk about him all the time, but they don't know I'm thinking more about his body instead of the whole package. But he doesn't have everything that I would expect a guy I would date to have. It's not about money because I'm not rich either. But parts of his character turn me off. I've never been in a relationship and I've only went out on 3 dates. I think it's pent up sexual frustration. Should I forget about pursuing him at all? How?I tried making myself guilty using the concept of karma. But I still want to sleep with him. My feelings are making me crazy.

[Lansing]

Is this the guy you sneezed on? (I think it was you that posted about it since I remember the avatar)...

 

Anyway, I think you should be upfront with him about what you want.... You shouldn't "trick" someone into having sex with you if he thinks things are going forward into a relationship....

[orgasmictofu]

Anyway, I think you should be upfront with him about what you want.... You shouldn't "trick" someone into having sex with you if he thinks things are going forward into a relationship....

 

I agree.

 

I don't find anything wrong with being with someone just for sex. That's fine. But there shouldn't be any question, any doubt by either party that that is all it is.

 

Otherwise it gets confusing. Trust me

[NJRon]

Just tell him you want to have fun... no strings attached...

[Karibo]

yeah I say just be upfront and say that's what you want. I have been tricked into having sex with the promise of so much more and it's really hurtful. I think it's fine to want someone just for sex as long as both know that's all it is.

[traz]

I agree, you should indicate somehow that you're interseted in fun, and not a real relationship. He may very well be after sex as well, and be using dating as a means to an end. God knows it wouldn't be the first time a guy has done that.

[Imperceptible]

Is this the guy you sneezed on? (I think it was you that posted about it since I remember the avatar)...

 

Anyway, I think you should be upfront with him about what you want.... You shouldn't "trick" someone into having sex with you if he thinks things are going forward into a relationship....

 

It's the guy I sneezed on. My cold didn't turn him off after all.. \\ . He left a message on my voicemail. He's going out of town on various trips for the next 3 weeks for his job but he wants to go out with me again after he returns. I take his message as a good sign.

 

If things start to get serious how can I bring up being "friends with benefits" casually without him running away? He's a nice guy and I don't know how he would react.

[orgasmictofu]

If things start to get serious how can I bring up being friends with benefits casually without him disappearing? He's a nice guy and I don't know how he would react.

 

Do it UPFRONT. Don't string him along with hopes of it getting more serious.

[Imperceptible]

I should tell him on our second or third date "Seriously I really like you. But I'm not interested in anything more than friendship and sex." ?

But that seems tactless. There has to be a smooth way of letting him know I want to have a good time without sounding really horny and thoughtless when I am.

[orgasmictofu]

"I'm not ready for a full blown relationship. Why don't we keep it light and just have some fun?"

 

And then grab his crotch.

 

Worked for me.

[Imperceptible]

For everyone who has done the "friends with benefits" relationship did you unintentionally develop feelings for this person later?

[orgasmictofu]

For everyone who has done the "friends with benefits" relationship did you unintentionally develop feelings for this person later?

 

Yes, and it was messy. Then we went on to be in a dating relationship for 2 years. And then he wanted to get married and I dumped him.

 

Messy.

[hosswhispra]

But he doesn't have everything that I would expect a guy I would date to have. It's not about money because I'm not rich either. But parts of his character turn me off. I've never been in a relationship and I've only went out on 3 dates. I think it's pent up sexual frustration. Should I forget about pursuing him at all? How?I tried making myself guilty using the concept of karma. But I still want to sleep with him. My feelings are making me crazy.

 

Can you really judge his character after just 3 dates? Before you let your sexual frustration get the best of you, think about this. This guy may be better than what you have seen on just 3 dates. He maybe the chance for a fulfilling relationship. This is just my opinion...take it for what it's worth. Sexual frustration can be dealt with in many other ways. This guy may turn out to be "worthy relationship material" Do you really want to blow that chance? It's ultimately up to you to decide what you want, though...and let him know what you're look for...be truthful and kind.

[Imperceptible]

Can you really judge his character after just 3 dates? Before you let your sexual frustration get the best of you, think about this. This guy may be better than what you have seen on just 3 dates. He maybe the chance for a fulfilling relationship. This is just my opinion...take it for what it's worth. Sexual frustration can be dealt with in many other ways. This guy may turn out to be "worthy relationship material" Do you really want to blow that chance? It's ultimately up to you to decide what you want, though...and let him know what you're look for...be truthful and kind.

 

I've decided I'm not going to be his friend with benefits because I know I will get emotionally attached to him. I'm an emotional person and I'm not strong enough for emotionally unattached sex. ](*,)

 

A mutual friend told me to be careful with him because sometimes he's not responsible. Then he said that this guy told him he wrecked his ex-gf's car once after borrowing it and felt like he shouldn't have to pay for it because they were in a relationship. I don't want to be the next victim.

He's a great guy but he drank too much at the end of our date. He didn't look or act drunk but I saw how many beers he drank and it was a lot. That was not a good sign.

Should I wait for him to prove to me that he's iresponsible before listening to someone else?

[itsallgrand]

Having a friend with benefits seems to be the chic thing to do, but I don't see it as taking emotional strength. In many cases, it's just a bloody mess.

 

Judge for yourself the character of the man.

Drinking a lot in the early stages of dating is a red flag.

 

There are many men in the world I fantastize about and would love to bed with based on lust.

It is rare that I follow through on it, unless there are larger potentials to discover.

 

Can you see yourself giving this guy an honest chance and see beyond his beauty. Beauty and Lust can blind the best of us sometimes.

 

Good luck.

[NJRon]

You seem to be a little too wrapped up in him for a friends with benefits kind of thing. I think it would be best to not pursue that. In addition, given what you heard, he doesn't seem to be good relationship material either.