Oh crud part 2

[thegoodgirl04]

Why is it my drive home from work makes me get upset and think about everything? It does get easier and easier but I want to stop having these crying spells. When I have them I almost start laughing to myself because its so silly! I get upset because what if he was the one, wait what am I saying he didn't make me happy and was a liar! I just wonder if there is someone out there who can just not be so afraid to show their feelings. I will keep my chin up and not let him get the best of me, he is just a coward who couldn't handle me.

[Shadows Light]

The drive is possibly a trigger. You are stuck.. doing something monotonous. Trapped. Can't do anything else for distraction and you're mind will stray.

 

Try... going to the library and picking up some books on CD. Or listening to a different Genre of music. I've found some heavy metal METALICA... like .. "St. Anger" really gets the tension out. How about... listening to music like Puddle of mudd, Nickelback, Queens of the Stone Age, Drowning pool... angry music helps me dispel the tears that make me feel so wishy washy and a puddle of goo.

 

A divorce or break up is always very painful. There's enough blame to go around.. so don't toture yourself with who's fault it is or what could have been different. Or the "IF ONLY's" .... and don't try to puzzle out the pieces.. you'll never finish the puzzle. You'll feel like you've had someone combine the pieces and parts to 2 different puzzles and the pix just doesn't fit. Stop driving yourself crazy. ( No Pun Intended).

 

It does take time. Baby steps... just gotta keep making Baby steps... like Bill Murray in that movie.."what about Bob".. babysteps. keep moving.

 

Someone gave me that advice and it works pretty well. KEEP MOVING.. Water when it stands still and becomes stagnant stinks. But water that is in constant motion is clear and fresh.

[NJRon]

I like Aqua ... it's inane

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks guys I just get so frustrated, and at the same time a little releaved that it is over and now I can find someone who really makes me happy I just worry that I'm just not pushing someone away that I could have made it with.

[Meeky]

Whenever I read your posts, I ALWAYS see me in them. I feel exactly the same as you. I know it is probably for the best that it is over, that he lied so many times, that I deserve better. But that doesn't stop me crying sometimes, when I think of the stuff I DID like about him. I also wonder whether I am throwing something good away, but then I keep telling myself, if he wanted me and wanted to change he WOULD and he would fight for me and us. And he is not.

 

Is your ex contacting you?

[thegoodgirl04]

Heck no, I told him not to. Part of me thinks hes just repecting me, part of me thinks he doesn't care and is seeing someone else by now.

[Meeky]

Well, I guess that is a good thing in a way. My ex leaves me alone for a few days, then either texted or writes THE saddest emails (the last on Wednesday). It brings back all those feelings, and I get upset. He said he was "working on his problems" which of course gives me the smallest sliver of hope. I HATE THAT. Half of me thinks he is doing it just to make sure I am still out there for him. He feels sorry for himself. BUT won't do anything to change the situation.

 

The thing is, I find it SO difficult to ignore him. If he contacts me it throws me back to stage 1.

 

I am leaving the city we both lived in next week. So one more week and I get to at least put some distance between us. Am thinking of leaving him a letter saying goodbye and only to ever contact me again if he has changed. What do you think?

[NJRon]

He's contacting you already... he's not changing. Leaving him a letter will only encourage him to tell you he's changing, instead of showing it.

[Meeky]

Good point NJRon. It just freaks me out cause I have this fear I guess, that once I leave the city it is truly over. I have to accept that, I know, but I'm scared.

 

Thegoodgirl04, when was the last time you had contact?

[NJRon]

change is always scary.