OK women, Need to Ask? Metros or Real men?

[CarnelianButterfly]

I would never expect ALL men to go around beating their hair chests and clubbing women over the head and throwing them in the kitchen. And CB, this isn't only about appearance. It is about lifestyle and attitude. I dont know how any woman could ever genuinely be with a man who acts more like a woman than they do.

I still don't see why it's such a big deal that you need to single out and berate one lifestyle choice. Why do you feel its necessary to do this? Why is it that their attitude toward their own life matter so much to you? How do their fashion choices and hairstyle effect you? They don't. You have no reason to criticize their way of life, but because they are different from you, you feel you can call them bizarre. How is that constructive social cometary?

[annie24]

Well, I think he's asking a fair question. He is asking us ladies how we feel about men that are that picky about their appearance. It's obviously a personal choice. It's a pretty recent social and commercial development - more personal care items targeted towards men, like makeup, waxing, moisturizers... etc.... I think it's fair to ask if women want to date a man who spends as much time getting ready for the date as they do.

 

I sometimes wonder how people let themselves get to 400 pounds. That's my big question...

[CarnelianButterfly]

Well, I think he's asking a fair question. He is asking us ladies how we feel about men that are that picky about their appearance. It's obviously a personal choice. It's a pretty recent social and commercial development - more personal care items targeted towards men, like makeup, waxing, moisturizers... etc.... I think it's fair to ask if women want to date a man who spends as much time getting ready for the date as they do.

 

I sometimes wonder how people let themselves get to 400 pounds. That's my big question...

I knew a very wonderful woman who was near 400lbs, she didn't let herself get that way. She had thyroid problems followed by a debilitating car accident that severely damaged both her legs. Her metabolism changed, her body was totally foreign to her and her weight went through roof. She suffered from it horribly because now she was just a fatty and had done nothing wrong, she had been a sport nut and had always been in shape. She had to face the social stigmas of being the huge fat woman, how do you think that made her feel, not like she could start jogging it off and getting back to her cheerleader size.

[TheLegend]

I knew a very wonderful woman who was near 400lbs, she didn't let herself get that way. She had thyroid problems followed by a debilitating car accident that severely damaged both her legs. Her metabolism changed, her body was totally foreign to her and her weight went through roof. She suffered from it horribly because now she was just a fatty and had done nothing wrong, she had been a sport nut and had always been in shape. She had to face the social stigmas of being the huge fat woman, how do you think that made her feel, not like she could start jogging it off and getting back to her cheerleader size.

That's different. There are people who get up to 400lbs just because they like to eat and too lazy to do exercices. That's what annie24 meant I suppose.

[annie24]

yes, that is what I meant - I'm not talking about people with a medical condition.

 

Anyways, that's getting off topic.

 

I think CamGuy's question is totally relevant and an interesting one to discuss. It is the male version of the question, "do men like women with the natural look or made up?"

 

Well, I guess back in the day (george washington's time), men wore some pretty fancy clothes and wigs. Fashion changes. In the 80s, the "hot" men were Tom Selleck and Mel Gibson - the brawny masculine hairy types. And now it's all about Jude Law and I don't know who else - men who are very polished looking.

[CarnelianButterfly]

That's different. There are people who get up to 400lbs just because they like to eat and too lazy to do exercices. That's what annie24 meant I suppose.

How is it different? You don't know from looking at someone how they gained the weight. Its a judgement based on appearance.

[annie24]

I'm not talking about looking at people down the street and judging them. I have my weight issues myself. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and been severely critisized by my mother about it. Trust me, I'm sympathetic to people with weight issues. I have a certain weight or dress size, when I hit, I realize, " Time to hit the gym and lay off the sweets!" I know some people that have had the stomach stapling done - a major surgery! I just wonder why some people have to get to that stage before they take very very serious control of their bodies and health.

 

That's why I said, "That's MY question." I wonder why some people see red flags at 175 pounds to take serious action, and others don't see it until 375 pounds....

 

Along those lines, perhaps CamGuy looks at metrosexual men walking down the street and wonders to himself if women find that look attractive... so he decided to ask here....

 

but this is totally off topic.

[shyanne]

i don't think men should shave anything below their shoulders. that's what makes them men.

[CamGuy]

How is it different? You don't know from looking at someone how they gained the weight. Its a judgement based on appearance.

 

CB...the woman you described above is batteling with forces BEYOND her control. How could you even compare the two?! Going through a horrific accident that cripples the ability of your bodies metabolism to be effective is completely different than subjecting oneself to what society tells us we should be. This can even relate to women and how hard it has become now that the image of the modern woman is so skewed. Do you think I expect all women to model themselves after pictures they see in VICTORIAS SECRET!? HELL NO.

 

I am not a shallow person. Nor do i think all women should be 5'10" and weigh in at a 115lbs. It is this social conditioning that bothers me. Men feel like they have to shave their damn bodies, and primp themselves to perfection, just like some women feel they have to throw up after every meal in order to maintain a thin and attractive appearance. It's rediculous.

[mystik]

Well I personally think it's about time men had to make the same effort as females have since the beginning of ALL TIME. It really is unfair how much more effort females are expected to make. So some people expect men to shave their bodies and primp themselves, what's the big deal. Haven't women been told to that for centuries? I agree, some people take it way too far, both men and women, if they spend more time making themselves look good than they do sleeping. But a man who spends a little extra time doing it isn't ridiculous.

 

I appreciate that you're just making a statement about the change in our society - but I really don't think you should belittle men who are "metro" as being not "real men." It's like telling females who don't pretty themselves up that they are not "real women."

 

My ex was very metro. He streaked his hair, had his ears pierced, took forever gelling his hair..popped his collar up, shaved himeslf, the whole deal. Though he didn't fake tan, he did try to go to the beach a lot to tan naturally. He wasn't less of a man: he played every single sport out there, was in an ice hockey league, ultimate league, went running all the time... just because he took a bit more time than some other guys didn't make him any less manly.

 

P/S Do not tell me I am in denial, delusional, or lying to myself! It really is quite irritating when you do that. People are entitled to their opinions and saying that is just rude.

[tylercdurden2004]

Um why is that when you tell a girl not worry about it, she looks fine etc the response is always like "p#ss off". Women put way more pressure on themselves and each other to look good.

[mystik]

Right. All women should now stop shaving, waxing, brushing their hair, and putting on any kind of make-up. Go COMPLETELY natural. Then all the guys will come running? Or maybe running away...

 

Guys, you would be surprised at the fact that even looking "natural" for a girl, requires more effort than you would think.

[CamGuy]

You are in denial, and you are dellusional. You think men really care if you wear make up?!! I tell women all the time they look fine JUST THE WAY THE ARE, and the turn around and scream down my throat that I am a lying sack of "you know what"!.

 

I dont give a crap if your ex peirced his nipples or climbed Mount Everest. My beef is simply with what society has conditioned people to think. And Tyler is absolutely correct, you women put way more pressure on yourselves than men do. All I do is preach against make up, breast augmentations, and lipo because it is all BS! It's fake. high heels, FAKE. You aren't that tall, your boobs arent that big, and you aint that thin!

 

There are SOME things we have the power to change to make us feel better about ourselves. Then there are times where we are spoon fed marketable bull crap and we brainwash ourselves into thinking "this is what I need. This is what society thinks I should be". And that is the F'ing problem with this world. People worry too much about being what they think others want them to be....then lie to themselves afterwards. It's not rude, IT' REALITY.

[mystik]

Oh spare me the F'in BS! You are in denial, and you are dellusional. You think men really care if you wear make up?!! I tell women all the time they look fine JUST THE WAY THE ARE, and the turn around and scream down my throat that I am a lying sack of "you know what"!.

 

Camguy, there's a reason the mods keep telling you to tone it down. It's because you get mean and freak out at people. You don't allow any others to have their own opinions, and tell them they're idiots when their opinions differ from yours.

[mystik]

I'm starting to think that you believe, that just because you think you don't conform to societies 'standards' or 'beliefs' that you are superior to others. You making the choices you do, believing the things you do, do not give you a right to come on here and yell at people. You cannot just come on here and tell people they're stupid. This is a discussion forum, not a "Camguy is always right and everyone else is delusional" forum. Neither is this a place where people come to to get sworn at so keep the "F'n" somewhere else.

[CamGuy]

Camguy, there's a reason the mods keep telling you to tone it down. It's because you get mean and freak out at people. You don't allow any others to have their own opinions, and tell them they're idiots when their opinions differ from yours.

 

I never called you, nor anyone else on here, an idiot.

[mystik]

What do you think telling them that they're lying to themselves is? That telling them their opinion is BS is? That they're in denial, delusional? I didn't come on here to get told my opinion is BS and that i'm effin out of my mind.

[tylercdurden2004]

I'm starting to think that you believe, that just because you think you don't conform to societies 'standards' or 'beliefs' that you are superior to others. You making the choices you do, believing the things you do, do not give you a right to come on here and yell at people. You cannot just come on here and tell people they're stupid. This is a discussion forum, not a "Camguy is always right and everyone else is delusional" forum. Neither is this a place where people come to to get sworn at so keep the "F'n" somewhere else.

 

Well to be fair Cam is not the only one here with strong opinions that get expressed this way.

 

Mystic I realize that you may feel its guys who are to "blame" for your need to look good, but many guys simply dont care all that much, especially if they are dating you. And as much as I might be surprised by how much effort girls put into looking as you said "natural", I think you alternataively would be surprised at how many men really dont even care all that much. Why is it that men never notice a womens new hair cut. Cause we dont care, well ok many of us dont care. It all about looking better than the competition which is other women.

[CamGuy]

What do you think telling them that they're lying to themselves is? That telling them their opinion is BS is? That they're in denial, delusional? I didn't come on here to get told my opinion is BS and that i'm effin out of my mind.

 

First off, i also never said you were 'effin out of your mind". And fine, so I dont sugar coat everything i say. Better than being fake and plastic.

[mystik]

Well to be fair Cam is not the only one here with strong opinions that get expressed this way.

 

Mystic I realize that you may feel its guys who are to "blame" for your need to look good, but many guys simply dont care all that much, especially if they are dating you. And as much as I might be surprised by how much effort girls put into looking as you said "natural", I think you alternataively would be surprised at how many men really dont even care all that much. Why is it that men never notice a womens new hair cut. Cause we dont care, well ok many of us dont care. It all about looking better than the competition which is other women.

 

Others have strong opinions, but they also express it in a way that doesn't imply that the opposing person is delusional. Who is to say who is delusional or not?

 

Listen, read my post again. I didn't put the blame on anyone. I didn't even mean for it to sound like I was blaming men. I never said women don't put the pressures on themselves. Who are the people making fun of you for not having the right clothes in highschool? Not the guys, but your follow female classmates. I know that a lot of it is due to the media, other girls, and themselves. What I'm just saying is that I don't think it's unfair or anything that society is telling guys to buff up, get tanned and get gelled. It's the same thing that happens to women

[CamGuy]

Others have strong opinions, but they also express it in a way that doesn't imply that the opposing person is delusional. Who is to say who is delusional or not?

 

Listen, read my post again. I didn't put the blame on anyone. I didn't even mean for it to sound like I was blaming men. I never said women don't put the pressures on themselves. Who are the people making fun of you for not having the right clothes in highschool? Not the guys, but your follow female classmates. I know that a lot of it is due to the media, other girls, and themselves. What I'm just saying is that I don't think it's unfair or anything that society is telling guys to buff up, get tanned and get gelled. It's the same thing that happens to women

 

Hey, I agree. I dont think it's "UNFAIR". But it certainly is stupid and foolish. And whats worse, the fool, or the person who follows him?

[tylercdurden2004]

Others have strong opinions, but they also express it in a way that doesn't imply that the opposing person is delusional. Who is to say who is delusional or not?

 

Listen, read my post again. I didn't put the blame on anyone. I didn't even mean for it to sound like I was blaming men. I never said women don't put the pressures on themselves. Who are the people making fun of you for not having the right clothes in highschool? Not the guys, but your follow female classmates. I know that a lot of it is due to the media, other girls, and themselves. What I'm just saying is that I don't think it's unfair or anything that society is telling guys to buff up, get tanned and get gelled. It's the same thing that happens to women

 

* * *-for-tat.

[mystik]

You agree? what?! j/k. I personally think a little bit is okay for everyone, it's just when people get excessive, they really can and do go overboard.

 

And honestly, I know you don't mean to be an a** but sometimes the way you word things, it makes people feel like their opinions are worthless. You have your opinions, but telling others that theirs is delusional isn't going to make them understand your point of view any better. It just makes them feel like what they think is worthless. You don't need to sugarcoat anything (don't think you would have started anyway lol) but the delusional and BS thing is not cool, that's all.

 

Sorry for hijacking this thread.

[tylercdurden2004]

You agree? what?! j/k. I personally think a little bit is okay for everyone, it's just when people get excessive, they really can and do go overboard.

 

And honestly, I know you don't mean to be an a** but sometimes the way you word things, it makes people feel like their opinions are worthless. You have your opinions, but telling others that theirs is delusional isn't going to make them understand your point of view any better. It just makes them feel like what they think is worthless. You don't need to sugarcoat anything (don't think you would have started anyway lol) but the delusional and BS thing is not cool, that's all.

 

Sorry for hijacking this thread.

 

I think the very essense of metrosexual is "overdoing" it and not meerely keeping yourself "up". I am curious if you say that women put more pressure on their friends than men do who puts pressure on the metro of this world? And as someone who can understand the pressure of having to "doll" yourself up would you not be against it? Seems like your saying women have to do it, so men should to. i am interested in your answers.

[MrDraw]

Herewith a supplement on my earlier reply to this post.

 

I agree with some reply's above, a metro isn't just a guy who shaves his body(parts).

Mostly a metro is a guy who's in touch with his feelings. Not to be confused with a guy who cries, which in general the public thinks, but mostly a guy who feels joy and pain and doesn't hide that for the world. And yeah, to be honest, a metro is likely to be someone who cries sometimes about heartbreaking situations or maybe a romantic “feelgood” movie.

 

Macho, metro, what's better? Nothing I think. Everyone has his or her own taste in persons, behavior and looks. That's what makes the world such a interessting and beautifull place.

Society is changing, people are changing due to a lot of things happening around us.

 

So we can make a lot of fuss about this, but it's getting us nowhere. Be who you are and don't be who you are not, just to get the girl/guy of your dreams or whatever.

 

Herewith some thought's a bit off topic.

 

Think about it for a moment.....

Why is it that there a stereo-type kind of woman and man?

Read the magazines, watch tv, everything “beautifull” is thrown at us with light-speed.

It's unavoidable, we are drowned in statements about what is beautifull, what we should look like, you name it. Doesn'n everybody whant's to be like J-Lo or Usher or who ever is hot at the moment.

 

Go to the local drugstore just look at the shelves filled with creams, lotions, etc. Shelves filled with fake promises about beautifull skin texture and color, nice curly/straight hair.

Look on the internet, loads of Viagra, enlargement pills, “one bra size more” creams, you name it.

 

We are led to believe we need to be perfect, just to “be” somebody.

Well let me tell you this, from my own experience. It's nice to blend in with te crowd. Just to be normal. Who would like the constant attention of the world press in your backyard, who would like to have no private life, who would really want to spend most of the time working out, cream your self up, etc., just to be “beautifull”. What a life that would be..., gym all day, moisterising all evening, sleep al night. Yeah baby yeah...!!!

 

Well not for me, and not for a lot of people.

Keeping in shape en taking care of yourself is fine, but in your own way. And that's what a metro is about in my opinion. Just a guy who takes care of himself and doesn't hide his feelings.

And that's what's appealing to a lot of woman. Just like a woman who takes care of herself is appealing to a lot of men.

 

In the 70's woman burned their bra's and now the metro-man is evolvolving out of the macho-man.

The world changes, behavior changes, we want different things all the time. So it's to be expected that men and woman will change little by little into the things we whant them to be.

(or for that matter: “need them to be” .

 

So be the person you want to be, if you need to. If you want to be a metro inspite of you being a macho, go for it, if you think your life will be better in that way. Or the other way around offcourse.

But allways stay true to yourself.

 

And for the rest of us macho or metro. Be yourself, stay confident about who you are.

There is always someone who notices you for who you are.