Yesss!

[inspiration]

Words cannot describe how I feel today.

 

I finally worked up the nerve to ask someone who was interested out to dinner. I was so incredibly nervous and waited till the last second but it worked for the best. It's really hard for me to find people I like and I hate finding those people and just letting them go w/out pursuing anything. so i finally did something about it.

 

i guess you just have to do it... there is no beating around the bush involved... you just have to straight up ask and pray for the best.

 

take care,

-.ins

[Aporia]

Well done. Hope it goes well. I love the saying if you never try then you'll never know. Imagine if you didn't ask them you'd be kicking yourself. It always feels so good when you overcome a fear.

[Doctor Smurf]

Yay! Well done to you! I asked a girl for her number the other day so I can relate to what your feeling, but you got the date!

 

All the best of luck! Doc

[Jonboy582]

haha yet again I can relate to what just happened. As I asked a girl out on a date and we going out on it on Monday and it feels good not to be rejected And well done and good luck on the date.

 

Jon

[Dating Coach]

Words cannot describe how I feel today.

 

I finally worked up the nerve to ask someone who was interested out to dinner. I was so incredibly nervous and waited till the last second but it worked for the best. It's really hard for me to find people I like and I hate finding those people and just letting them go w/out pursuing anything. so i finally did something about it.

 

i guess you just have to do it... there is no beating around the bush involved... you just have to straight up ask and pray for the best.

 

take care,

-.ins

 

Congratulations! I must give you props for sucking it up, being a man and overcoming your fears to persue the goal that you wanted! You should be an inspiration to many guys out there!

 

As far as your date, here are some recommendations from link removed

 

Here is some advice I was given for going on a first date.

 

1. The date. Do something that has low cost and low entertainment value. For example, meeting at a Starbucks for a coffee or an upscale and quiet bar for a drink is a great idea because it allows the two of you to sit and talk to each other. In addition, it should not cost you a lot. If you were to date ten women and took each one for a drink, that would potentially cost you $10 a date. However, if you took those ten dates to dinner and a movie, at a cost of $50 each, that's a lot more. From the perspective of cost, the whole point is not to buy random women meals but to get to know her. So money should not be a factor in first dates. In addition, if you avoid venues like movies and concerts, etc., you can be assured that you have not met a woman who is just going out with you because her other boyfriend (who she "forgot" to mention) is out of town and she is bored. Finally, if you do go someplace with low entertainment value (i.e., not a sports bar with 42 TV's) she and you will not be distracted. Instead, you can sit and talk to each other and get to know who likes what, etc.

 

Now if the date goes bad, you are also not locked into a big meal and have not wasted $22 on two movie tickets. Or whatever those ridiculous costs are at the movie theater!!! You're really only out the $5 for her drink, as you consumed yours.

 

If you do go to a bar, be SURE not to (1) get drunk (2) order shots.

 

2. Check her out - CAREFULLY. When your date arrives, you should make a note of how she presents herself. Don't be obvious, but get a basic idea. This will be an indicator of her interest level in you which is very important. Plain and simple, if she shows up in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and her hair back in a ponytail and has no makeup on, you can bet she's not interested in impressing you. I would say this means your date should be the one drink but you may want to consider nothing else. You'll probably quickly gather from the conversation that she's not interested anyway.

 

However, if she shows up with a clean outfit, nicely done hair and makeup, nice shoes, nails done, and otherwise looking great you can bet that she spent an hour or more getting ready. The only reason why she would do that would be to impress and attract you. That is a very good sign. So, for example, if she walks in and everyone stops and looks, that's a good thing.

 

Very important: While you should compliment her, you should compliemnt her EFFORT and not her existence. So a good compliment would be "You look very nice tonight." A bad compliment would be "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you look hot." I would also recommend that you give her only one compliment for the entire date. Don't be a "Yes man" like you see on TV. Keep it real. Just relax. She heard you and you don't need to repeat yourself.

 

You should, of course, also be dressed nicely but in your own style that makes you feel comfortable. Nice shoes are a must, as is a LITTLE cologne (she should only be able to smell it if she hugs you, not from 3 feet away), and - of course - be SURE your breath is nice. Brush your teeth AND your tongue (or get a tongue scraper.) I cannot emphasize how important this is as, regretfully, I had bad breath on my first date and did not know. Believe it or not, she told me that was my only flaw and she could live with it, so you may get lucky but don't risk it!

 

3. Topic of conversation. First, you need to learn that just about everything to do with your car, computer, job, religion, political views, and other stuff that is boring or controversial should be *strictly* off limits at this point. Your goal is to not bore her to death! You should also focus on positive, fun, and entertaining topics. So no blood and guts, no talk about Saddam Hussein unless you're talking about the Southpark movie and she brought it up and loves it, no guns, no crime, no sex jokes or crimes, stuff like that. Do NOT talk like a creep. Do NOT talk about ex GF's or BF's, no blatent sex jokes, and other offensive topics.

 

You have to remember one thing: You are here to get to know HER. Now I know a lot of guys say "Oh, I'd be so happy if ANY woman liked me and I would do anything to date so-and-so" but that is a crazy concept. Women are not all perfect - they are human, just like you or I. They do crazy things just like us. They may do things that are downright offensive. Your job is to find out on a high level if she is SANE. You do this by asking her lots of questions, and then getting her to expand on them. Such as "So, have you lived around here long? Really? Where did you live before that? What was your favorite part of living there?" Etc. If she starts to let you know that she's a drug user who goes to clubs and takes a different guy home every week... well, I would not want to date a woman like that. In the end, you want to talk away knowing 100x as much about her as she does you.

 

4. Don't act like a creep. This means that you look her in the eyes. You do NOT look at her body, nor do you comment on it. You do NOT look at other women, nor do you flirt with them. You do not blow smoke in her face. You do not TOUCH her until after you have kissed her (later). You need to act like a gentleman, being polite and mature. Open doors for her. Be kind. If you get a drink that is made wrong, send it back and get it fixed. If someone is rude to you, move to another seat.

 

If you get into a fight at the bar, I can just about guarantee your relationship with her will be short lived. The same goes for driving like a maniac, blasting the music in the car which she hates, or spitting on the ground. Being rude is also a deal breaker, so shape up and behave like an adult!

 

5. Find out if she likes you. The most important thing is to determine if she has an interest level in YOU. Does she ask you personal questions? Like what your name is, how old you are, where you live, if you are single, if you are employed, if you like children or small animals, etc. Does she look you in the eye as well? Does she sit/stand close to you, facing you? Or does she lean back, stay back, with her arms crossed? Is she talking to other guys (note: end the date there)? Is she flirting with you ... or the bartender? The simple reality is that she should be doing things to make you like her, and if she doesn't then she probably doesn't care, and that means she is using you for a free drink.

 

6. Flirt. Joke. Have fun. Never be serious. Be confident in a funny way. That means that you need to lighten up and be yourself, but at the same time avoid serious topics. If she asks how old you are, make her guess. If she asks what you do for a living, avoid the cliche "If I tell you I'd have to kill you" but instead say that you do something that is as outrageous as you think you can get away with. Then see if she "catches" you. If she doesn't wait a minute or two and let her know. For example, I may tell her that I'm a lumberjack. Of course, I'm not a muscle man, so any woman with half a brain should say "Bull!" and then we can have a good laugh. I generally don't talk about work too much, though, other than to say I am a manager at such-and-such government agency and it's a good job. Any more details are boring.

 

7. End the date. At the end of the date, you should understand that the one thing she expects is for you to try and kiss her. This requires you to walk her to her door and then, when the two of you stop talking, all you have to do is lean in very slowly and then stop a little way from her face. If she leans into you as well, there is your kiss. I'd recommend a dry, gentle, on the lips kiss. No tongue. At this point you STILL should not have touched her all night, but instead watched to see if she touched you (which signals interest level) but now you may want to gently put a hand around her back or neck. For only a few seconds. You'll, of course, have to play that by ear, I cannot advise you on that!

 

8. Set up another date. And the end of the date, if things went well, be sure to let her know that you would like to go on another date but will call her. Don't tell her when and where yet, because I doubt you've planned it yet. This will give you some time to think what to do next. Anyway, I would recommend waiting 1-3 days to call her again and set up another date.

 

9. Finally, I would *strongly* reccommend avoiding email and phone for long conversations. They do not lend themselves well to romantic situations, so instead you should use them as they are intended - for short exchanges and to set up times to go on another date.

 

So, I hope that helps. Let us know how it goes!

[Jonboy582]

DiggityDog I see you been ready PocoDiablos posts lol. Genious that bloke lol. But good advice all the same

[StarSteel]

As I asked a girl out on a date and we going out on it on Monday and it feels good not to be rejected

Jon

 

Yeah, but in a way it sometimes feels good to just go ahead and do it, even if you DO get rejected. Sounds crazy, but at least you know you've got the courage to go ahead and do it. Practice makes perfect, and even if you get rejected a number of times, eventually you'll be able to refine the "asking", be totally confident in yourself (which is a natural plus for all women, without exception), and of course ask a woman who will accept, heh. This is all the traditional approach, of course. I guess what I'm saying isn't very well generalizable to most other situations, haha.

[inspiration]

is there a type of woman that doesn't dress up? haha

 

i have to ask.

[Jonboy582]

Yeah, but in a way it sometimes feels good to just go ahead and do it, even if you DO get rejected. Sounds crazy, but at least you know you've got the courage to go ahead and do it. Practice makes perfect, and even if you get rejected a number of times, eventually you'll be able to refine the "asking", be totally confident in yourself (which is a natural plus for all women, without exception), and of course ask a woman who will accept, heh. This is all the traditional approach, of course. I guess what I'm saying isn't very well generalizable to most other situations, haha.

 

Infact I have never been rejected lol, but I fear the rejection so thats why I lacked the courage. And thats why it feels good so same way but in a more round about waysas you if you get me lol. And gratz mate, I happy I got the courage up just the same.

[inspiration]

What's good to wear on this first time out together?

I have an assortment of nice button downs and polos. The button downs are all assorted colors. I have a ton of jeans and some black dress shoes... unfortunately none of my shoes are very nice besides my chrome adidas all stars and the dress shoes.

[StarSteel]

Depends where you're going. I'd say dress a notch higher than you'd normally dress if you went to that location alone. Starbucks? Grab your Adidas, man.

[inspiration]

this is pretty much my first "serious" date. I mean... I've had a couple before but I wasn't really interested. This one time a girl wanted to eat at wendy's and i didn't appreciate that too much.

anymore tips would be greatly appreciated.

i'm trying not to run anything through my head... but i'd rather not do anything really dumb.

[inspiration]

well tomorrow is the day.

i'm picking her up... i was already invited in... heh. dunno it feels as though it's going to turn out really really well.

 

i'll let you all know!

[Jonboy582]

Good luck matey I have every confidence in you that it will go well. Just don't fuss and go with the flow.

[inspiration]

Okay so it went excellent.

I picked her up...we went out to dinner and then sat and talked for about an hour. She played w/ her hair a couple of times but wasn't like all over it. I couldn't really tell if she was keying. But overrall we had shared some laughs.

 

We had something and some good conversation. If she does feel the same way I don't want to let her down by not asking her back out. So at this point I feel I'm pretty much in a position with my balls to the wall.

 

 

How should I followup?

[Dating Coach]

If the date went well, did it end well? Did you move in to kiss her? You should have. If you didn't make sure you do next time.

 

Call her up, set up a date for anywhere between Sun-Thurs, give her a specific place and time, if she cannot do those days, counter offer a second day and time. If she doesn't work with you to find a date, then move on. The ball is in her court since you tried.

[inspiration]

Call her? Or should I do it in person?

 

Thanks

[Dating Coach]

Don't use the phone as a crutch, use it as a tool. What I mean is, if you rely on the phone or email to converse with someone you meet, then it's bad, you're using it as a crutch. Using them as a tool is using it as an easy way to reach the person and say what you have to say-no more. Tell them you would like to take then to __________ on __________ date and get off the phone.

 

If you prefer to do it face to face, or you have a good opportunity to, by all means do it.

[inspiration]

Don't use the phone as a crutch, use it as a tool. What I mean is, if you rely on the phone or email to converse with someone you meet, then it's bad, you're using it as a crutch. Using them as a tool is using it as an easy way to reach the person and say what you have to say-no more. Tell them you would like to take then to __________ on __________ date and get off the phone.

 

If you prefer to do it face to face, or you have a good opportunity to, by all means do it.

thanks,

that's pretty much how I did it the first time. calling her up tomorrow. i'm just glad i don't have the nervousness like i did before. i figure i have nothing to lose.

 

I did not see her today, and I will not tomorrow so i'll have to hit the phone up.

[inspiration]

It's a go!

got some italian place then mini golf.