Thinking About Him

[xblondyx]

You know when your moving on after you've broken up with your bf....do you always find you think about him?

 

If i'm honest, i know i'm moving on, even though i do still love him and always will. The thing is, recently, i find that i'm thinking about him a lot more. When we first broke up, he was all i could think about then, a month on i barely thought about him. Now, he's on my mind again. But this time i'm just thinking about the good times. About our first (very bad) date, about our first kiss and just generally the time we spent together. It's amazing how i remember it all.

 

These memories are good to have but it makes me feel a bit sad to think about them, knowing we will never have that together again. I know that in time the sadness of the memories will go and i will remember happily but right now it just gets me down a bit.

 

I want to be his friend. He's made it clear he DOESN'T want to speak to me. We all leave college in May. I was just wondering, do you think it's a good idea to contact him...say on May 18th (one day before we leave) just saying that I don't want to leave on a bad note with anyone so could we at least be civil with each other? I don't know if it's a good idea...he may just blank me and say no. I don't know, i just know that i don't want to ignore him if I see him around in the future. What do you all think?

[kellbell]

Hi blondy,

 

I think this is your mind trying one more time to play tricks on you. It's like you have been ok all this time and bam! You get plagued with sentiment. It is normal. Try not to give in to it.

 

You cannot be his friend if he does even want to speak to you. I would leave it and try move on from it.

 

You are doing great!

[xblondyx]

Well, actually, what he said was he wasn't ready to talk yet, give him a couple of months. By then it will have been a couple of months.

[kellbell]

Oh, now it makes sense. So, may I ask do you think you have truly moved on if now you are getting antsy to talk to him by the end of these two months? Because IMO, if you are, you can honestly say by the end of these two months or even six months, you would not care either way whether you are friends or not.

[xblondyx]

It's more complicated than that. Ok, so i'm not completely over him. It's the fact that his family are friends of my family and whenever we see them, he totally blanks me and it's putting pressure on our parents relationship with his parents as they all feel like they can't see each other because he will just sit there being all moody or won't come at all. They've already said it's best if they don't see each other anymore, for a while at least. And we haven't saw them for 3 weeks which is weird.

 

If the above situation didn't exist, then if i'm honest, i wouldn't want to be his friend. He hurt me and didn't even care so why should i care. But this situation does exist and it's hard.

[kellbell]

Wait what??? His family does not visit your family because of your break-up or because he wants to act like a baby??

 

IMO, this should not come to this extreme. All of the parents have to realize the chances of young love lasting is pretty slim. So, you want to be friends with your ex on behalf of your family. That is a lot of everyone to ask of you, IMO. He hurt you. He should just get over it and grow up. Sorry if I came off as harsh but this all seems silly to me. I don't know....what are your thoughts?

[xblondyx]

Well what happened is, about 3 weeks ago, we saw him and his family in town. The parents all started talking but i was on the telephone to my friend and he was just standing there. They all decided to go for a coffee so of course we were dragged along.

He sat there and complained saying he broke up with me because he wanted space and our parents being friends does not help the situation.

 

I was like...hey it's not my fault! It was your idea to introduce them!! So anyway, he aired his views to both sets of parents and they all had a big chat and decided, until he calmed down they shouldn't meet up as much as they did.

 

I thought this was really selfish of him. So his parents hadn't been in contact since then although i have seen his Mum and she gave me a friendly wave.

 

Then a few days later he signed onto MSN and just started slagging off my parents and i FLIPPED with him completely and went straight into NC. I don't want to be his friend. Then he told his mum something that he made up about what my mum supposedly said about them and his mum text me asking what was going on but i didn't know.

 

I think he did this so that our parents would fall out with each other. I think maybe he's succeeded as yesterday when i saw his mum she just blanked me. She has been in touch with my mum though, saying they should meet up in the easter holidays but in secret so my ex doesn't find out.

[kellbell]

Ok...I am sure once your mom and his mom get together, this whole thing will get straightened out.

 

As far as being friends with him...I would forget about it. He sounds incredibly immature.

[xblondyx]

Yeah i guess your right. Writing all that out has made me realise that we can't be friends and i don't want to be friends. I just don't want our last day, leavers dinner and prom to be awkward because we will both be there and have mutual friends so it may be a bit weird.

[kellbell]

If will only be weird and awkward if you let it. If you go...have a good time, laugh, say goodbye to all your friends...everything will be ok. I would not pay much attention to him during your prom and so forth. It will be ok...you sound like a fun-loving care-free type of gal. Have fun!

[xblondyx]

Thanks kellbell

[kellbell]

You're welcome chica!