how in the hell can i choose between my bf and my family

[miticalzz]

hi everyone, i could really use some good advice cause i don't know what to do anymore. i have been seeing my bf behind my families back for quite some time now. all the sneaking around and lying is really stressing me out. i love my family and i love my bf i just can't take all the pressure anymore. i know they will never like him no matter what i say. if they ever find out that i'm still seeing him they will disown me completely. how in the hell do i choose between my family and my bf? i have told my family that i broke up with him along time ago and that i am now seeing someone else. now they want to meet this new guy and it all lies. i know i should tell the truth but i am afaid too. i can never do anything right in my families eyes. what should i do in this situation?

[melrich]

Why don't they like him?

[miticalzz]

hi melrich,

 

long story.... he was married when i met him but had filed for a divorce. my family comes from a very strong religious background. they don't approve even tho he had filed for a divorce they considered him to still be married. they think he is a cheater and that he is going to cheat on me in return.they think i am a home wrecker.

[melrich]

OK I see. Well if he is the one you love to an extent you have to ride roughshod over the family.

 

Hopefully they will come around one day but you cannot let your family dictate to you the way you want to lead your life. They are being unreasonable and you have to hope that one day they will realise that.

[miticalzz]

oh man this is so hard. because all this lying is so against my morals. they have told me so many times that if they even find out i am talking with him they will never allow me house ever again.

[DN]

Do your parents still have custody of your son?

 

And are you not divorced yourself? How do they regard that?

[miticalzz]

DN,

yes my son is still living with my parents, he actually likes my bf tho, even tho he hates me for my divorce.

i was too still married when i met my bf. i wasn't living with my ex husband at the time. when i met my bf i had been separated for 8 months. it justs takes along time to finalize a divorce and my parents don't understand that.

 

here's the funny thing tho my mom left my dad while still be married to him for a guy that she became preganant with. he is now my step father.

[tyler711]

They don't like him because he was divorced? They sound like prudes. You sound older than 18. You can see who you want, behind anyones back or otherwise.

[miticalzz]

they don't like him because he was married not yet divorced but so was i. and they technically did the same thing.

[DN]

Sorry to keep asking questions!! But is this the guy who said he would never marry you?

[miticalzz]

yes. and so that is another reason they don't like him.

[DN]

This is a problematic relationship. Are you prepared to alienate your family, and possibly your son, in order to be with a man who will not marry you?