Should I ask him to hang-out?

[Bostich]

Hi all,

 

Just some quick advice as I am seeing my boyfriend briefly this evening. After taking a break, we decided to do what it takes to make it work. However, we decided that we need to take it slow and spend more time apart than together. This is especially true for him as he is getting past issues of anger.

 

We did decide though that we are definitely a couple and of course will spend time together. As it stands we spent Saturday and Sunday evening together. On Monday he popped by for a few minutes just to pick something up. We didn’t see each other yesterday and exchanged one e-mail. Today he contacted me through AIM and we chatted for a bit. I am going by his house (upon his request) to drop something off but when I asked if he would like to hang out he said he had already made plans.

 

I would really like to spend some real time with him because we haven’t since Sunday evening. Do you think it is okay to ask him when I stop by tonight if we could get dinner or see a movie tomorrow?

 

I just feel so apprehensive because of the space thing but at the same time I don’t want to operate as if I am just waiting for him either.

[passions1]

Since he already said he has plans today, you can ask him if he'd wanted to do something like cooking, watching a new movie (something that he'll enjoy as well) another time say for Thurs or Friday? And to let you know around what time is good.

 

It is important that you don't always be the one to initiate making plans, unless you know that he has a more busy schedule. You also want to feel like he does want to spend time with you & it's not just one sided.

[SeaBisquit]

i agree with the above poster. don't be the one to iniate the plans. if you two are working on geting back together make sure the efforts are equal.

[Bostich]

I definitely agree, I just dont want to get into the habit of being afraid to ask because he might reject me. Or find that I am catering to him by waiting for him to initiate just because of this space thing.

 

I figure I can ask and if he says no, he says no.

[Bostich]

Wait,

 

Seabisquit are you saying to not ask at all? I of course dont always want to ask but I should put some effort in too. I just cannot get upset if he says no. If he does say no, can you think of a response I can give him that lets him know I want to see him without making him feel guilty?

[SeaBisquit]

no no. i'm just saying from my own experience make sure that you are not putting more into getting back together than he is. i mean let him iniate some fun things that you two can do together also.

[SeaBisquit]

lol, and usually guys don't say no to dinner. they all like to eat.

[Bostich]

Oh, okay. I see and I agree. I figured I would ask this time and regardless of his answer leave it to him to ask the next time.