just feeling down need to vent

[tsakali]

I am 28 and working,(still trying to get my degree slowly but surely)

well, to get right to the point she broke up with me a few days ago, telling me how she tried to do it before but I just wouldn't listen, I wouldn't take the hints. Well she says that we are different and that it wouldn't work out.

She drops me one of those "you're a really nice guy but I am only 24 and I missed alot of things from life and I want to experiance more"

 

I love this girl and for some crazy reason even though most of the time she treated me like **** I still think she was the best I ever had , and not sexualy but emotionaly and characterwise etc.

 

She still wants me to be her friend but I don't think I can handle that, I just can't imagine one night when we're out having fun she hooks up or even flirts with another, it'll just be very harmful to my health emotionaly.

 

We used to be best frineds for lack of any good friends around here in New Orleans, so the break up is especialy difficult since there are no true friends to fill in the gap, there is no distraction.

 

What should I do? should I be her friend? I know it will prolly be one of those self inflicting pains, because obviously I still have strong feelings for her. But even as I write this I feel like giving her a call and going out for a drink, and I know she would like that, but still....

 

To add to that she is supposed to be moving to los angeles this summer so I will eventualy wont have a choice on the matter.

 

Do I cut her off now or wait to do it cold turkey when she moves?

 

Do I stay a good friend or take the bitter road and prevent her from having my friendship?

 

I know for a fact that we will never get back together because I'd be a fool after knowing what I know.

[xblondyx]

If you think that you can be friends without wanting more, go for it. Unfortunately, i don't think you will be able to.

 

I think, even though it will be very hard, you should do NC, try and get over her, get yourself back, make new friends and move on with your life. I know it'll be very hard but i think it's the best thing for you. Being her friend will just prolong the healing stage.

[tylercdurden2004]

You have let yourself go shown by the fact you say there are no friends to fill the void. Get out there and reinvest in yourself. join some new things pick up new hobbies etc and most of all meet new people. A relationship is not about being with someone cause no one else is around. Imagine if she said I was only wiht you cause no one else was around how would you feel.... So work on making yourself as well rounded as possible and enjoying every aspect of your life.

[ty1807]

Personally she doesn't sound much like a friend if ya'll were in a relationship and she treated you like 'crap'.Take yourself out for a drink and find a new friend.

[justmoi]

If you are still emotionally affected by her then in all honesty , the friends route will be so so difficult it will make you feel like poop everytime u finish meeting with her.

You will try and convince yourself you are strong enough to handle being friends but i think unresolved feelings will just come into play and ull be reminded of of what you cannot have.

Vicious circle ull never heal at all.

 

Right now if you do honestly want her in your life in some shape way or form, u have to be strong and let the friends thing FOR NOW go , heal, grieve for what could not be, this could take months even a year or so and then when your strong enough and emtionally filled up by yourself..send her a light email or a quick hi..as ud have nothing to lose by then..Easier said then done i know

 

But it definatly worth a shot right?

 

Take care x