HELP!! How to be more affectionate??

[Ihatethiscity]

Ok, I know the title sounds stupid, but I am very serious.

 

I've been worrying that my gf has been losing confidence in our relationship because I think she feels she's showing more of her feelings than I am. It's my first relationship so I'm really nervous about everything. I hold back sometimes because I'm afraid of being excessive and everything.

 

And yes, this sounds stupid again. But how do I become more verbally and physically affectionate?

 

I really need to show her how I really feel. Do you think I should also talk to her about it? Not say directly, but I mean....just kinda work my way around it, and see how she views it?

 

HELP GUYS!!

[jojean]

As i am saying this it's my point of view. I don't know how your gf is.

It's mostly the little things that counts. Not really words, but actions/deeds.

Hug her unexpected, send lovely e-cards unexpected (not much effort right.. but truly from your heart) leave little sweet notes, when you leave and she's still sleeping or you know she come back earlier.. or put it in her bag or something..

It's just a difficult expression. 'She's showing more of her feeling than you do'.

And how is that? How do you know? And what does she do that makes you feel that she is showing more??

And it sounds you love this girl and your feelings are true. I think she will notice

[babypink61]

Hi Ihatethiscity,

 

I know exactly how you feel! I'm not an expressive person either and I find it extremely hard sometimes to let my bf know exactly what's on my mind. I think I get too embarrassed or something when I have to say it to his face I think it bothered him a lot not knowing how I feel towards him. My suggestion would be to start off things slow . . . do you guys talk on the phone much? If not, I'd suggest calling her or texting her and tell her that you love her and that you miss her. You don't have to go all out, just be like, "oh I really missed you today!" Or "I wish you were here with me right now . . . "Also I find it easier for me to put my feelings down in writing than actually doing it verbally. I'd write emails to my bf out of the blue telling him what I love about him and that I miss him and if we spent a weekend together I'd write about how much I enjoyed spending time with him and etc. And he really appreciates that cuz he knows I have difficulty expressing my feelings. Just start off slow and eventually it will be become easier . . . hope this helps!

[AzureSkyes69]

This is from a point of view from a woman that does like to hear that she is loved & have affection shown to her.

Although my partner is not as affectionate as I would like.

I understand the girl I am with is not that showy in affection/verbaly and yes it does bother me at times.

Especially when she will kiss me and the walk away I will talke her by the arm pull her to me and she will say "no".It is almost like teasing or something.It hurts because then I feel rejected.Other times she will be totally into my request.see I guess it could be confusing and send mix messeges to the other person.I would kiss,cuddle,be intimate whenever that is not a problem for me,for her it is.

She will tell me she loves me but it is not a every day occurrence,I could say it everyday but that is just the way I am.So usually I wait until it is said to me.I don't want to scare her or make her uncomfortable.

I would suggest that if you want to be more verbaly expressive and affectionate that you can ease into it. like jojean said

"It's mostly the little things that counts. Not really words, but actions/deeds.

Hug her unexpected, send lovely e-cards unexpected (not much effort right.. but truly from your heart) leave little sweet notes, when you leave and she's still sleeping or you know she come back earlier.. or put it in her bag or something.."

a unexpected jesture or a kiss or cuddle with the one you love.That I know means something to me.

[Skippy]

well..this may sound silly but do it...

Stop watch shoot em up movies, rent sloopy love stories and watch and learn write to down on a pad make sure she doesnt know you are doing this.. YET!!

Then when u have watch 10 movies Everyday, do one or two of what u havewritten down. .. evenually she will realise something has changed and then you can let the cat out of the bag... she will ove yo more for the effort you put in.

[Skippy]

well..this may sound silly but do it...

Stop watching shoot em up movies, rent soppy love stories and watch and learn write to down on a pad make sure she doesnt know you are doing this.. YET!!

Then when u have watch 10 movies Everyday, do one or two of what u havewritten down. .. evenually she will realise something has changed and then you can let the cat out of the bag... she will ove yo more for the effort you put in.

Repeat, lather and wash until it become instict

[the yang to the worlds yin]

i agree with jojean. it's those little things that most women really appreciate, like a sudden hug, or saying something sentimenal unexpectedly. or maybe just showing her a little extra attention and letting her know you really appreciate the things she does for you too. just try and spice things up a little, and i'm sure she'll be incredibly grateful for it ; )