Men R So Confusing !

[miss_confused]

I need some male input on this question. MY ex bf and I were dating for about a year when we decided it was time to say our goodbyes, that was in the beginning of november 2005. After going out with him for so long I really wanted to make it work as friends, however I was not that lucky. In the beginning my ex didn't even want to talk to me, I wasn't asking for him back, I wasn't asking us to try again all I wanted was to be able to see each other and not feel weird around one another. Shortly after we started hanging out again and we also began to have sex again. I know sex with the ex is a HUGE NO NO, but what can you do. We kept this going for 2 months or so durring this time we both thought we would get back together, however I told him him needed to make a decision and well he could not come through so I decided it would be easier for us both to move on if we ended all communication. We slowly began to see other people, I am not going to lie it hurt a lot knowing my ex had a new girl in my life and I am sure he felt the same. A month or so later we bagn talking again and he always wanted to know about my new relationship and he would always tell me how the new girl he was with did not mean anything to him. We both ended up breaking up with our new relationships. The other night he called me for the first time in several weeks and we ended up having an argument and I hung up on him. Shortly after he ended up at my house making sure I was ok and wanting to say sorry. After 3 months of no sexual contact we ended up kissing on my couch and hugging like old time, he is coming over tomorrow. I could not be more confused as to what this boy wants? I mean how can someone say it is over and then show up at your house and want to kiss you? Do actions speak louder then words? Is it really over ?

Sorry I am sure my spelling is off haha bare with me people

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH

XOX

confused

[shademan]

I think you guys need to become friends first.

[dontknowwhattodo]

I had a friend with benefit relationship with an ex and it was not a go. We tried to be friends, but ended up kissing and jumping in bed almost every time we saw each other post-relationship. The worst is it took me 1.5 years to get out of this friend with benefit relationship and I am still very hurt. Are you OK with this if this is going to be the path you are going to? I would say this guy wants to have to cake and eat it too. You are better off without him.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA miss_confused!

 

Your best decision ultimately will be to completely break all ties with him, make a large amount of distance between you two for a long time, let all the residual feelings fade, and then maybe try to become friends again...it is the only way to handle this... I also think this will eventually happen on its own whether you make the decision to do so or not...

[tylercdurden2004]

Depends what you are both looking for. You need to be honest with yourself first and foremost. Do you want something more than friends, benefits or not? Are you ok having a friends with benefits relationship with him? Be very very honest with yourself. I have only had this once with an ex and it worked out great we just love the physical stuff with each other but knew we were not meant to be and were going in other directions. But we were honest wiht each other, hung out with each other with no problems. We still talk to each other occasionally and I love having her in my life. We have since moved on she is with a guy who is better suited to her and now I am recently single again and looking forward to the day (good few months) down the road when I will find someone suitable for me.

[miss_confused]

That advice is really great, the problem is what happens if you were supposed to end up with that person in the end of things? "people come into you life for a reason,season or all of time" Is there a reason we keep coming back to eachother, are new relationships are not working out is it because we need eachother in the end of things? Be4 we became bf and gf we had been trying to date for several years but one was always with someone else ....I just think that sometimes you are supposed to be with that someone and maybe that is why u both end up on the couch in the middle of the day when u least expect it? What do you guys think ?

xoxo

confused

p.s ladies going thru a tough breakup should invest in the book" it is called a breakup because it is broken" Great book it really puts things in prespective

xox

[tylercdurden2004]

Personally I would say you you both need to grow and learn a bit more. Trying to put something together because of "fate" defeats the purpose of fate itself.