I broke NC after 4 wks...ADVICE PLS GUYS!!

[LADIVA]

Hey everyone. After four weeks of no contact I emailed my ex. I didnt get to have real closure with my ex fiancee because he left behind my back and I got to speak to him 2 weeks later because I requested it VIA EMAIL..he handled it very cowardly and was only concerned about himself and healing by selfishly handling it like this and specifically told me not to contact him at least six to eight months so that he could heal. The day I spoke to him I was VERY EMOTIONAL AND VULNERABLE and said things out of pain and not thinking fully straight. I felt the urge to express myself and say everything I needed to say that I couldnt that day. I apologized for my mistakes and said what I didnt say the day we spoke and thanked him for everything and forgave him also. I did this for me. I also sent him an ecard. I did not expect a response back but when I came home tonite....my heart broke in pieces even more when I saw that the ecard had not been viewed. I had to set up some new email addresses to send the letter because I wasnt sure if he had blocked me or not. Now Im worried that he didnt even read it...who knows...I put so much time and effort in this letter to fully represent my self expression and now I feel so stupid because what if he didnt read it???!?!?!?!? I am only going by this because the last time we spoke he specifically said no contact but I didnt feel this was fair because I still felt very incomplete. I really hope he read it...insights from others would be appreciated here especially from males but of course women..so what do you guys think..? Would you delete or would you read especially if you loved or still have feelings for the person...? I did the ecard and the fact that he never checked it makes me very sad and I just assume that he didnt read my letter either. He goes on the inet everyday. I have to send a package to his mother tomorrow (he moved back to his hometown so we arent in the same city anymore) and was wondering what you guys think..should I send the letter in the package also or no? Any advice would be great guys before I make any more mistakes! Thanks!!

[WhiteNite]

Why do you think he left?

[Scotcha]

My high school sweetheart broke up with me via email. I know I was young but when I think of heart break I think of him. I have no idea why we broke up but ultimately that didn't and doesn't matter. Healing was my closure.

 

It is a cowardly thing to do, to end things that way, and shows a lack of respect that is deserved by anyone who was willing to put their heart on the line. I also think a part of it may have to do with weakness and lack of true resolve but that is no excuse.

 

Writing is a good way express how you feel. Even if he never does read the letter it is good that you wrote it. In fact, it is often good advice to write a letter and never send it. Write for yourself. I think it would be best to not give him any more letters but perhaps it might be helpful to start a journal.