Just need some help

[horty232]

Ok well i had a pretty long post going in the "getting back together section" called back together but bad feelings or something like that if you want to know about my situation a little more. I just broke up with my girlfriend on Saturday night because i was making a lot of changes for her that she wanted to see (like qwuitting smoking.... opening up to her more...taking her out more) and i felt as though she wasn't appreciating anythin i was doing and only giving me fifty percent of her attention to me (she would text friends and check her phone multiple times...be crabby all the time.... and it jsut seemed like she wasn't fully there with me) and her excuse was that she was working and exhausted all the time. That didn't bother me except for the fact when i told her that when i was with her she wasn't giving me one hundred percent and thats the only way this realtionship would work....she couldnt give me one hundred percent because she was too busy and i should be ok with that. So basically yeah i ended it. My questions are i guess....

 

1. If i have doubts about her and i want her to be more there for me... if she loves me shouldn't she be willing to change that?

 

2. If this break-up is final....and shes driving my car right now because i have an extra one to drive until she fins a new one...should i ask for it back or let her keep it?

 

3. Should i go NC with her and let her figure out what is important to her or should i be trying to work this out... i mean i have told her multiple times that i want this to work and i care about her a lot...but I can't go through these changes without her being one hundred percent with her.

 

4. What do i do from here? I am hurt and depressed and just dont know where to go...should i just live my life and see what becomes of this or...i dont know??

 

Thanx for all you help!!

[Goodfun88]

Man that sounds like a tough situation, I'm sorry you have to go through it. You are right though, a relationship can only work when both people give 100%. But that doesn't mean that she should only focus on you, you have to give her time for her friends, and you should make time for your friends too. But it doesn't seem like she wants to work it out, so its probably for the best that you've ended things. If she has your car I would ask for it back now, before things get to messy. I would go NC so you can start to heal yourself, maybe in the future she will decide that she wants to make things work, but don't hold your breath. From here on out you should definitely live your life. And enjoy it. I'm sure there is someone out there for you that will give you what you need. Good luck and stay strong!

[horty232]

yeah its pretty rough...the thing is i was giving her time and space gfor her friends i realize that she cant be with me all the time and i need my friend time as well... the fact is that when she was with me she constantly checked her cell phone for texts and other things and not giving me the attention i needed from her when we were spending alone time together... but you think i did the right thing?

[Goodfun88]

If you felt like she wasn't giving you what you needed, then you did the right thing. And seeing as she didn't try to make anything better I think you are better off without her, and when the time is right you'll find someone that will give you all you need, without you even asking. There are better things to come for you!

[Scout]

the fact is that when she was with me she constantly checked her cell phone for texts and other things and not giving me the attention i needed from her when we were spending alone time together...

 

Do you suspect there is someone else? I know I would start to if my boyfriend was constantly checking his messages and being crabby with me - and we'd recently gotten back together, to boot! I would wonder if there was someone else he met while we were broken up, and if that's who he was looking to see if they called. I guess I'd also have serious questions about whether his heart was truly in it.

[horty232]

ok well its been a while now since all this went down and were back togehter now.... and it has been going pretty good until the last couple of days... i got really insecure one night because some guy who i ddint know called her and i asked her if her feelings were still the same for me...stupid i know... but she got really upset and siad that i should know what her feelings for me and that i need to trust her more...and the sad thing is i know she loves me(why would she get back together with me for a third time? but why cant i trust her? like i just feel that theres someone else she wants to be with all the time and i dont know why... i mean logically if she got back together with me for a third time she wants to be with me right? so why am i not able to trust her right now? i want to because i know it wont work otherwise.... but i cant...is iot just because all the break up * * * *...the hurt and confusion and will it eventually go away? becuse i know that it is hurting my relationship with her and it wont work if i cant trust her...please i need advice on what to do here...i cant be with a girl i dont trust because it just drives me crazy and i know it wont work anyways... and i want to be with this girl more than anything i really do....so do i just let time heal things...can i do anything about it... or just give up because maybe it shows this relationship isnt that strong anymore.... i dont know want to be with this girl more than anything in the world but i want to be able to trust her