confusing girl..

[sg23]

First off there's this girl that I like from work and she's 20 years old and i'm 23. she and I have always gotten along pretty well with talking and joking around. awhile back she and I were more flirty/sarcastic with each other. I decided I'd give it a try here. I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime which right then she got all speechless and hesitant plus kept changing the subject. after that i decided to cool it. since that time she's been giving me mixed signals,where one moment she's talkative,smiles,jokes then she'll turn around and get shy like with me with quiet, lack of response, and limited eye contact. of course frustration started to hit. I ended up talking to one of her friends which happens to be one of my friends as well. she said that this girl likes to seem blunt and outspoken but really is a quiet keep to herself kinda girl. truthfully she's never had a b/f and never really been on a date. where she doesn't know how to show affection in that way w/o getting uncomfortable which leads to mixed signals. gets uncomfortable where she doesn't probably know how to act or what to do. stated when this girl does like someone she won't tell the person just because of afraid of rejection.

 

couple weeks ago I decided to ask her again about hanging out for that week she said yes but had few tests to study for during the week,so nothing happened. week after I asked her again and she agreed once more.this past monday we were suppose to do something. well closing time she was ready to walk out the door. I asked her is tonight still on..she's oooh I forgot,where I think she was embarrassed afterwards,she smiled then said how about wednesday? which I agreed. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. spring break,she's always busy doing something. this past Wednesday after work I met her at DQ. which she was already inside,sitting at a booth with a drink and reading a magazine. I went over to her and she had a grin on her face. I said get whatever you want it's my treat,she said she wasn't that hungry,so I said i'll be right back,which I just got something to drink as well that i wasn't that hungry.(that I was full of nerves lol) when I got back she grinned and had a little surprised look I guess she figured i would get a meal. I said I wasn't hungry either. she said she doesn't eat dinner that much anymore just because getting off work so late anyhow she and I talked about anything,just random stuff. she was really talkative but limited eye contact. she talked about probably doing something afterwards with friends or go somewhere which that made me feel good just because she took the time to do this especially not getting something to eat at a dining place. we were there for 30-45 minutes. say i'd say something silly or whatever,she'd just smile and say that's funny. while leaving she spoke up first saying see ya or have a good one. I said have a goodnight.

 

well Yesterday,I thought just maybe from our hang out she'd open up more well I was wrong,she was back to being quiet and limited eye contact. she barely said a word to me thru out the day. later that evening me and boy went over to where the boss and she were. while talking she'd look at the boy,she'd look at the boss but wouldn't look at me. she'd talk to the boss about something,then she'd strike up a conversation with the boy but not me. while leaving she didn't even look at me and I said see ya and she said see ya back

 

think there's possible liking but she's just being shy and scared here with her back and forth actions?

[k2004myway]

That's a tough call there. She's probably a bit awkward/shy and wondering what your intentions are. I'd see if she would like to hang out again sometime. I'd also let her know why you'd like to hang out. For example, "Hey, do you want to hang out again. I'm asking because I think there's some chemistry and I'd like to get to know you better." Women like that kind of honesty--and she will greatly appreciate it. I'd also say that with this kind of girl (and because you work together), you've got to take it one small step at a time.

[_Tiki_]

That sounds like me! but it isn't lol.

 

I'm like that because I'm scared of rejection and dont trust guys. She might be like that because she's never dated before and maybe you give this girls butterflys, maybe she feels she has to be perfect around you to keep your interest so she shys away and tries to avoid you sometimes.

 

I give my crush mixed signals out of shyness and the poor guy probably doesn't know where he stands with me.

By acting a little bit like your crush I've kinda pushed him away so I've really messed things up.

 

If you really like her be patient with her. Let her see that you're a nice guy and whatever you do, don't ignore her if you think shes not interested cos it could be that she's crazy about you and is too scared to show it.

 

Maybe you could talk to her friend about this and see if you can come up with a way to gain her trust.

[Markers]

she might have gotten a bit confused because you didn't ask her out. I mean, you're not her friend because she ignores you. Still she talked to you like that, so you could assume she likes you.. I've seen that happening, she thinks "ok I showed him clear light but he just didn't ask me out.. probably doesn't like me...

 

what to do, she's not over you, so ask her out.

 

Limited eye contact, she's nervous looking you in the eye. Can be only a good thing.

[yeawutever]

Yup, she does sound shy. Lol, I myself, still get shy sometimes, it'll always be there. Just make her feel comfortable and let her see that you're a nice guy who will listen and not judge nor act like someone you're not. Be patient, it takes some people a while to open up, esp. if this is her first date.

[sg23]

little update:

last night near closing time I asked her how she's doing,well she looked away from me with a grin on her face and said fine. I said that her hair looks nice which she said thanks.. she said gonna get killed with that storm.( we had a blizzard) I said yeah wednesday when I joked about probably getting a snow storm i'd probably have to work alone,well that might actually happen tomorrow. she didnt' say much,I said have good night and she rushed out the door.

 

today I did anything today to get her to talk,even say some smart * * * remark back to me. when she got to work I said ( her name) came back to work,she kept quiet then. she left to run an errand,when she got back she was ready to open the door,well I stopped it with my foot. I kinda grinned at her and she didn't say a word and no reaction at all. she ended up tracking rocks all over the place,so another woman got the broom and she got the dust pan. well when she went to put the dust pan back I'm like (her name) making a mess sheesh. she went to walk away then just looked down to the floor while walking and ended up saying one word " always" then I'd ask her a job related question then she'd talk a little.

[_Tiki_]

I say go for it! Ask her out. Sounds like she likes you, but is a little insecure around you. Don't wind her up if she's insecure cos she'll read it the wrong way.

[a2000]

awwww she sounds like me

I would keep talking to her and get to know her better. Take it slow but still show interest. I think she likes you.

[sg23]

she doesn't work anymore for the rest of the week,so next week i've decided to ask her to do something again. knowing she'll be around others,i'll probably just ask her if I could talk to her alone for a moment in another room or somewhere to have privacy. might be a little awkward to her but what I have to do. thinking how i've been wanting to say this..how does this sound?

 

"First off I was wondering if you wanted to hang out again sometime soon because I enjoy being around you and would love to get to know you better. how about going bowling this weekend?" right now I don't have a vehicle,so I feel weird asking her out then say she has to drive us but I can't help it. plus I think she knows about my lack of vehicle but i'll probably state that to her.