I wonder if she ever loved me...

[okane24]

I miss my ex-girlfriend soooo bad right now. We broke up March 6th. Almost 2 weeks ago. It was my 29th birthday. I kind of egged her on to do it. I've been fed up for awhile now and I was sick of not trusting her and being so insecure of what she was doing or not doing overseas.

 

I just can't believe how things could turn so bad so fast and that it seems like our relationship was just a dream. I just miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss her silliness. I miss holding her. I miss the way she kissed me. I missed her talking about our future together and how we would raise our kids, if we ever had any...

 

She took that all away when she broke up with me. I don't know if I can ever forgive her for putting me through this. I do care for her. I desperately want us to work out when she comes back from studying overseas... I don't know though. How can I ever take this girl back that hurt me soo bad. What if she does it again in the future?

 

I am starting to wonder if she ever loved me at all. How can someone just turn a switch and turn off love? It's been nearly impossible for me to forget her. And now I haven't seen her for a month and haven't spoken to her for 12 agonizing days... It seems that we've been lost. That'll she'll be gone forever and that she'll forget me.

 

I never cheated on her or hurt her. My only confession is that I loved her TOO much. Bought her too many gifts, spoiled her too much. Every morning when I woke up next to her, I rolled over and whispered into her ear. "I love you baby." Every morning. And I did love her. I still do.

 

I miss her sooo bad. I hate not knowing what the future holds. If we'll ever speak again, if we'll ever be friends again, if she'll ever love me again.

 

She was my Angel. She'll always be...

[solo34]

At one point U say U egged her on 2 leave U, and that you're insecurity is what pushed her away...

 

Then it's "Oh, I don't think I can ever 4give her 4 this, etc."

 

Time 2 look inward at the core of the problems...

 

-Solo34

[Liam Weic]

We're all insecure to some degree. It's all about recognizing it before it takes over and pushes the other person away.

[Clarkmeister]

I can understand where you are coming from. It is natural to feel some doubt if you feel someone can switch it on and off. But you don't know how she is feeling and if she has switched it off. An important thing that helped me is to stop trying to think for her too. You need to look after yourself just now.

 

I have had these feelings too when me and my GF split. I then remembered the good times we had and went to our memories box where we have kept cards and stuff. Then I realised that we did love each very much and this gives me hope for the future. Our situations aren't that different, I feel i maybe loved her too much and that this maybe suffocated her.

 

One of the big lessons I have learnt is that in a relationship there are 3 parts, A, B and C. A is you, B is your partner and C is your relationship. My problem was that I was living everything through C and that my partner felt guilty and responsible when she wanted to do anything for herself. I now realise that I have to look after A, let my partner look after B and C will naturally follow. To use the anallergy of an aircraft, the main engine is C and this is fed by A and B. A wasn't running at all and B was reluctant to run at 100% thereforeeee C eventually gave way.

 

My experience is to keep any contact to a minimum and when there is contact, keep it light and fun if ou can. We are not back together yet as there are other factors in play and we are about 2 weeks further down the line than you. Stay strong, and focus on what make you happy, after all if your not happy with you then how can you expect someone else to be!! Hope this helps.