Slight NC with someone you like?

[comets_21]

NC helped me so much in getting over my ex I was wondering if it can help you out in the dating scene too. It seems when I start talking to someone I like I become very attached and it lowers my self esteem when they do not show the same interest back. I am usually the one calling them, and trying to make plans. I also feel low and as if I have no chance when they show little signs of no interest in me. In the past when I stop showing interest the female's interest level goes up. When they come to me is also when I feel most confident around them. I am emotionally clingy and I know I need work on that. My guy friends that have success with girls when they let the girls come to them. There is this girl who I am really interested in but she has not shown the same interest level back. I was thinking of trying slight NC on this girl. One day I told myself I need to not be so easily accessible to her. I did not answer her call because I was at a mate's house and she ended up calling my cell phone 3 times. Try not to rip into me about playing games, I am just trying to gain some self control as I did with my ex. My past relationship I was the nice boyfriend and I ended up getting hurt and played with.

 

Also, when the experts tell you that NC works on getting over an EX, it truly does. She has been asking asking about me and has even tried to contact me but I have no feelings towards her anymore and it really has changed my life for the better. I now realize how much she hurt my life. I was really a mess before. Thanks for the support.

[keenan]

Yes, I'm afraid that 'playing hard to get' really does work. It's annoying to play games, but part of dating is the thrill of the chase. Humans are explorers. We often seem to want things that are just out of our grasp.... Try it, let us know.

 

Re: the ex. Good for you!

[venus777]

i hate the games. they drive me crazy. but i think i need to get better at doing it, thats why!!

[hk87]

Comets- your story has given me the inspiration I need to do NC with someone I have become too involved with. I seem to always be making the plans or txts. Well, holidays are coming up, and although I won't see this person, I won't be making the effort to contact them throughout it. I really need to become more emotionally strong.

 

Hk87

[Kevin T]

Playing hard to get can definitely work... but it can also backfire right in your face at times too. Which is why I don't advocate playing mind games with the opposite sex.

[comets_21]

Hi, playing hard to get is not my goal. I just want to become more independent and have her know that I am someone that she is lucky to be talking to. When I did not call her for a couple days, then talked to her, she was the one doing all the talking on the phone. She was telling me about what was new in her life and everything. I felt important. I am still waiting for her to be the one to ask to get together, but I may never have that or she may never become that interested in me. BUT, when I went NC with my ex, I did improve myself and did spend time with those who enjoyed my company. That is why I am such a big supporter of NC. I will let you know how it goes.

 

K87... Thanks alot... Feel free to read some of my first posts to see how bad I had it. Now I realize how terrible that girl was for me. I was so low before.

[tylercdurden2004]

Mate I am not sure how old you are but thats irelevant. the best thing to do is date many women. Not be a player, but go out and find more than one girl that you like adn just be fun and have fun. The more you have the busier you are, your chances of finding someone you really like increase. And guess what you wont even notice they didnt call to make plans cause youll be out on a date. And when they call you can tell 'em youll pencil them in. Girls are attracted to multi-faceted men end of story. So do a bunch of different things in your life, keep yourself busy so yu dont sit by the phone and so the girls see you as interesting etc. Ans trust a pinch of competition really gets girls going. Girls are way more competitive than men especially towards each other. Why do you think most have to dress up and put make up on etc. Not for you or me, but so they can be the best looking in the other girls eyes. Telling her you have another date will either get her thinking "S%*t, I better act on this guy before he gets taken" or shell think maybe hes a player and in that case you dont want her anyways cause you arent past teh dating pahse and certainly arent even there!