In pain again and going back to NC forever.

[Spawn]

Sorry guys i think i acted pretty immature, dunno i just lost my cool when i saw my mail return back to me from my gfs mail box as she has blocked me for good.

 

After the call and after all the feelings subsided, i kinda recalled what all stupid stuff she threw at me. At one point i thought she threatened me to never venture into her locality, as if she owns it. Her dad is in intelligence and she thinks she can just scare me with all that crap. Anyways i dunno why my ex never understood my love for her. i have never stalked her ever and i used to go by the place since i have some work nearby and that was the shortest route. But now i have found a way to get past that place even though i have to spend some more for this. Worth every penny i guess though.

 

In a fit of rage i mailed from a new id (again very immature), couldn't control it.....i just mailed her this

 

Stop asking for favours and please don't contact me ever ok.......don't keep in contact with your ex's thats what ruined our relationship in the first place. The way you have treated me with so much disregard again thank you very much for that.

 

I am not obligated to contact you anymore and you have lost all exclusivity to me.

 

i wasn't acting moron, was just kiddin......

 

If you ever date a guy again.......keep it clean best of luck.

 

Enjoy your life and move on and please grow up get out of your childish acts.

 

I just can't bear this anymore.......how can somebdy be so bad, don't they have a heart, don't they get hurt when they hurt someone.....

 

I am back to feelin the way i used to feel long before, not eating much, no sleep.....can't concentrate on anythin right now.

 

Just one contact from my ex and this is what i go through.

 

Thanks for reading...

[Blue In Texas]

I don't think there is much damage done, Spawn. I think this sort of thing sends us to square one for a short while, but then we quickly bounce back to where we were. To answer your question about how someone can be so bad, I think guilt affects some people in ways that make them appear bitter and heartless. In protecting themselves, they are insensitive to the pain they cause others. Still sucks, though.

[NJRon]

If htis is affecting you so much, I do hope that if you get a response form her, you just trash it. Don't block her email address, as it will look like you are playing a childish game and might egg her on. just trash it and move on.

[Spawn]

i haven't blocked her, just made a filter to directly delete the messages.

 

No more mails from her, i am just not in a mental status to handle her stupid and hurtful emails. I never took unknown phone calls for a month just out of blue she called up. Never thought she would call up after such a long time.

[NJRon]

Wow... I really don't know what would prompt someone to call after such a long time and rip into someone else. They must be acrrying a lot of baggage around with them.

 

Hang in there...

[Lady Bugg]

Spawn,

 

Don't beat yourself up. Look at the positives....you are FREE of her. NOW you can finally really put it behind you. No more wondering, waiting or hoping. Your 'sentence" is over from her.

 

This IS a new beginning. Your energy is now untied so you can put it toward other things.

 

I don't think people realize exactly HOW much of their energy they use

in holding onto an ex. Holding onto something, even something negative

drains SOOO much valuable energy from your life.

 

You aren't the only person in the world to have gotten "blocked" from an ex.

She's doing you a favor...a HUGE favor.

 

Hang in there!!

[Spawn]

Thanks Lady Bugg, i am relieved though that its over in all terms. Thats the only positive thing coming out after 3 months of breakup. I have finally resigned to the fate that she wasn't and will never ever be the one for me.

 

Thanks all take care.....gotta get busy with my life now.

[chai714]

Spawn,

 

This recent event may have been the best thing for you. Now that you've had your "one final word" you can resume NC and focus on yourself, healing, and all that the future has in store for you. I can guarantee you that one day you will look back and smile at this. Remember that you're in control of the direction you want your life (and lovelife) to go. Maintain self-discipline by staying away from her and building back up your self-esteem. You can do this by participating in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Good luck.

[Spawn]

Thanks Chai much appreciated....i have lots of things to work upon, i am still alive thats the best part of it.

 

will keep you all posted of my progress...

[Orlander]

I have little notes of "gratefulness" up all over my apartment to remind me of what is truly important in life. These notes include...

 

"Be grateful and thankful for this food you have to eat"

"Be grateful and thankful for the clothes you have to wear"

"Be grateful and thankful for the family you have"

"Be grateful and thankful for being alive"

"Be grateful and thankful for the wonderful world outside"

 

...and I keep one picture of my ex around (admittedly, a very unflattering one at that) and attached to it is a note...

 

"Be grateful for this relationship and the love you had. Know beyond doubt that you will love again and it will a much greater love".

 

I cant tell you how well these notes work. I have several all over my apartment in strategic locations and scattered around my bedroom. Each morning I am surrounded and confronted with these "truths" of gratefulness.

 

You ARE still alive Spawn. Don't give yourself any reason to ever forget that fact.

 

 

 

Orlander

[Spawn]

Wow.....great stuff, orlander. thanks for the suggestion, I think might wanna try that. My darn printer is not working so will have to write it down with my own hands.....Markers would help though.

 

hey i actually didn't feel that bad today....seems getting out of the house and going about your daily life is the key to gettin over your exs.

 

Theres a feeling of relief in my mind....my heart is not at all feeling heavy anymore. Good sign.