am i too emotional?

[jellypp]

hi everyone..i have been reading this post for sometime and found them helpful.i have been living with my boyfriend for more than a year now..and at first it was wonderful..he would do stuffs for me,treated me like a princess and was realli nice..i used to feel all secure around him..

ok now..the problem is both of us don't talk much..im realli bad verbally..i can't express wat i feel or for that matter even say watever's on my mind..instead out of fraustrations i keep quite and eventually cry im a very emotional person but that never was a problem before...initially he used to hold me or comfort me whenever he see me in tears and tells me that it breaks his heart to see me like this...such a big change from wat he is now!this days he's like ok cry and let everyone hear you or don be so sensitive about every little thing or wat the f*** is wit u?(oh did i tell u guys dat he always has to win in every conversation,n im always wrong)etc etc...this days i don't tell wat i feel to him and jus have a good cry wer he can't see me..or if he does he'll freak out

other than that other times its fine..we enjoy each other's company and have fun together.but the main thing is we can't seem to communicate...he never listens and i jus can't seem to let my feeling out...i don kno wat to do or say..but i guess u guys got the idea..pls help.

[friscodj]

Hey jellypp-

 

Well, he certainly isn't being very nice to you. Even though you aren't verbally communicating with him very well, you are communicating with him through your tears. And what is his response? To yell at you? To put you down? Of course you aren't going to want to open up and talk to someone like that!

 

It sounds to me like you guys aren't compatible. It sounds like he just got tired of dealing with your communication style. You should work on being more verbal in your communication, but you should do it with someone who fits better with you and your communication style, supports you and tries to help you make these changes and doesn't verbally abuse you like this guy does...

[NJRon]

I wouldn't call keeping you emotions bottled up so much that you eventually burst into tears a communication style. You need to start addressing issues when they come up. Relationships can be severely damaged if you don't leanr to express your thoughts and feelings.

 

I would say that, after living with your boyfriend for a year, you should be comfortable enough to open up to him. You should try it out a bit and see if you get a better repsonse form him. Regardless, you'll have to learn to deal with it eventually.

[princessdi75]

This sounds like me and my boyfriend. Except for the fact that we no longer live together (a financial problem, not a relationship problem)...We don't communicate well...and it is both of our faults. We have been much better the past few weeks, but I really think it's that I am OVER emotional and he is NOT emotional at all. I can sympathize with you, but I can't really give you any advice. As much as I've seeked advice, I'm still not sure how to confront this situation. Perhaps you need to figure out what the REAL problem is. Why are you always so upset? What makes you cry? Are you unhappy? For me, I don't know what my problem is, frankly, I think my birth control is effing up my emotions and I over react to stupid sh*t. But my bf, like yours, doesn't help by being mad at me for being upset. But I do understand where he is coming from. He HATES seeing or hearing me cry or being upset, and he beats himself up about it. Mostly because ever since he's known me i've been a happy-go-lucky person, and now all of a sudden i've turned into a psycho-b*tch. So I've come to accept that I need to figure out my issues BEFORE i can confront any relationship issues. I'm not sure if any of this helps or not, but I really need more details to be more specific.

[friscodj]

You should definitely work to try to be a better verbal communicator, but I don't think this guy is so good for you. He should be more supportive of helping you move in this direction and the chemistry between you two should make it easier for you to do so, not harder by having him put you down all the time...

[Polypeptide]

ok now..the problem is both of us don't talk much..im realli bad verbally..i can't express wat i feel or for that matter even say watever's on my mind..instead out of fraustrations i keep quite and eventually cry im a very emotional person but that never was a problem before...

 

Just like me and my boyfriend. I have low self esteem. I'm a girl but I'm not talkative like other girls!? What's wrong with me? I have the same problem. I can't express what's on my mind. I tend to be quiet too. And my bf is not talkative either. So we didn't communicate that much.

 

And he's emotionless sometimes. I already hate talking and expressing myself. And my bf shows no reaction to whatever I'm talking about. I get more discouraged and just stop talking.

 

After 8 months together, I don't know much about my bf and we dun talk much . It's scary. It's a wake up call. I have to do something to change it or there'll be no relationship. We talked about our problems. My major issue is that I get discouraged because he doesn't show interest in my conversation. My solution is to just keep talking. I have trouble expressing myself. But I just keep talking until I can finally express my views. My relationship is improving at a slow pace. But better than none.

 

And you must learn not to cry easily. I have so much frustrations bottled up from not talking much in 8 months. I cry privately. But when I'm talking about problems with my bf. I try my best not to cry. Crying is like a sign of weakness.

[Sparky21]

Crying is definitely not a sign of weakness, i dont know why you think that? If you need to cry u need to cry thats it.

 

I havent been communicating well with my bf about stuff for a month or so now and its affected our relationship pretty badly, i think u just need to talk it out until u can express urself. Maybe u can write a letter/email??

 

i think once u slowly get there with the communication stuff it will start improving ur relationship dramatically if u love the person ur with then isnt it better to work through ur problems? Me and my bf have problem but i wouldnt want to work through them wit any other guy.

 

sometime i get so angry with him, esp when i have PMT but ive started trying to do stuff about it for me mostly. Dont u feel even worse when u get mad or emotional u need to firgure out why, i started drinking rasperry tea and evening primrose tablets. its helped some, and that some will make a difference u know?

 

I have been a complete binto to my bf, but love him and need to sort it. i think i would be exactly the same in another relationship.

 

i have the opposite problem too u, i need to talk and talk and talk and talk about things, and my bf gets so mad. I am a bit ridiculous sometime.

 

You need to find a balance i think.

 

Saz x

 

p.s. when ur communication gets better with ur bf it will get better with other things too, like friends, family........

[jellypp]

wow..that was fast thank you to each and everyone one of u who replied..i don kno wat to say!

ive been trying to communicate with him..but he just don't want to listen ..he'll be like ok watever..and so i often brushes off..he makes me feel like im the one who's just having a problem and that there's nothing wrong with our relationship...and yea i wote him an email..i don know if he read it or not!its damn frustrating not been able to express urself!!

im trying to change..to be stronger emotionally...but he always makes me feel soo worthless...like im just upset about breakin a nail or something

[someone_else]

You should listen to yourself... you said he always makes you feel worthless. That should be a red flag right there. You cry because he makes you feel worthless, not because you're crazy!!! I bet he tells you when you try to bring up a problem that you ARE crazy. Well, from experience, if you have a problem, the relationship has a problem. If you really love him, you have to make him understand that, but it seems to me more that he makes you feel like crap and you're too afraid to move on...or see him move on for that matter. Not every man in the world would make you feel bad about yourself, which means he is definitely not the best man for you!!!!!