Need some help on my relationship

[Shy_Guy993]

Ok, well here's my story. My gf and I have been dating for about 6 months now and the other night we got together to go to the movies and i noticed that she was not acting like herself. She would not tell me what was wrong. A little later I went to kiss her and she started crying. I again asked her what was wrong and she said she wanted to take a break for a little bit because she didn't want to feel tied down or w/e. Anyway, I agreed to it because there wasn't much I could do anyway. She also said that she didn't think that she deserved me beacause I do all these nice things for her and she doesn't have as much time for me (she is busy with a whole lot of stuff lately). Anyway, we went ahead and went to the movies because I had already bought the tickets. I was just kind of sitting there, not paying attention because naturally I was sad. She then told me that she had changed her mind and did not want to take a break. I think it is because she saw how sad it made me. I asked her if it was her decision and not for me and she said yes, but I am still not too sure. So I guess as of now we are technically together, but anyway, I need some opinions as to what I should do because I called her last night and it seemed so freakin' awkward. Any suggestions as to what I should do or tell her or something. This is driving me insane! ](*,) Thanks for reading my long and pointless post.

[robowarrior]

Drop her like a brick and move on with your life, seriously you don't have time to wait for her indecisive actions, she either goes for you completely or doesn't go with you at all. Life is too short to wait. So find yourself another girl who does have time for you. Don't show mercy or pitty because it will only 'lenghten' you staying in this painfull situation with her.

[Karibo]

The key to this is communication. She cried, so obviously she cares about you alot. I think you just need to talk some more, find out EXACTLY why she said she wanted a break, then you'll both have to decide how to proceed with this relationship.

[Momene]

Think she could be going off you and there may even be someone else she's interested in. If she's hedging, split with her.

 

Good luck.

[PocoDiablo]

Ok, well here's my story. My gf and I have been dating for about 6 months now and the other night we got together to go to the movies and i noticed that she was not acting like herself. She would not tell me what was wrong. A little later I went to kiss her and she started crying. I again asked her what was wrong and she said she wanted to take a break for a little bit because she didn't want to feel tied down or w/e.

Heads up, you're about to get dumped again. Whatever is going on, she is giving you an excuse. You KNOW that's not the real reason she dumped you, but you obviously don't know what is the real reason. The real reason is probably because you are too nice. Yeah, believe it. If you are easy to figure out, totally predictable, boring, or something else that is just ... blah ... women will get bored and leave. What she did was throw you a BIG red flag that things are about to go downhill, and fast.

 

Anyway, I agreed to it because there wasn't much I could do anyway. She also said that she didn't think that she deserved me beacause I do all these nice things for her and she doesn't have as much time for me (she is busy with a whole lot of stuff lately). Anyway, we went ahead and went to the movies because I had already bought the tickets. I was just kind of sitting there, not paying attention because naturally I was sad.

Yeah, but she thought you were ignoring her, this is big ... pay attention here...

 

She then told me that she had changed her mind and did not want to take a break.

Ok, you pulled back - you were a challenge - and she came after you. See, HERE you were a real adult. She treated you poorly, and you withdrew. You should keep this in mind.

 

I think it is because she saw how sad it made me.

Not a chance. She did it because you became more attractive because she realized she was not getting the response she expected. She expected you to cry or beg for her to come back or something, which would have made it easy to dump you. But by acting like a mature guy and not getting into the details, she realized you were more mature than she thought.

 

I asked her if it was her decision and not for me and she said yes, but I am still not too sure.

You should trust your gut. She's still on the fence.

 

So I guess as of now we are technically together, but anyway, I need some opinions as to what I should do because I called her last night and it seemed so freakin' awkward. Any suggestions as to what I should do or tell her or something. This is driving me insane! ](*,) Thanks for reading my long and pointless post.

You want to know what to do? Simple. You tell her that after her little "stunt" she's got to work a lot harder to keep you. Yes, for HER to keep YOU. That means that she needs to be nicer to you, she needs to make more time for you, she needs to call you, and basically she needs to show you how much she cares. Remember, she's broken your trust here, because you know she could do this again.

 

I would recommend that you tell her straight out "If you ever decide you want to take time off again, or basically break up with me, I will *never* take you back. Don't test me, don't kid yourself, I have more self-respect than to let myself be treated poorly by anyone." If you can show her that you're going to be mature about this and she really cannot just act like that, things will be much stronger.

 

In my opinion, women need to know your standards and boundries. They also will try to test them, to test you. She tested you, and by virtue of being in the movie so you could not talk about it I am assuming you got lucky. If you had tried to talk her into staying with you, I suspect it would have worked out differently... you'd be asking how to get her back.

 

So, raise the bar a little, and let her know that she has to prove herself to you, and I think you'll be better off in the long run.

[Shy_Guy993]

thanks for the advice everyone. I'm going to just wait for a bit and see how things play out because I really do love her and besides I don't like anyone else at the moment anyway